10 Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman

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Give Hugs, Not Stupid Comments!

I know I’m not always the easiest person to live with. I can be pretty strong-willed and stubborn for instance, and I like to do things my way.

Pregnancy hormones really mess up with your head. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past few months: I alternated between feeling helpless and happy, confident and anxious.

Apparently it’s normal. I hope so, anyway.

But there are times when I’m pretty sure I was rightfully annoyed. Like I explained, I’ve had issue with the “pregnancy police” and I still can’t believe how inappropriate complete strangers can be.

So here are ten things not to say to a pregnant woman… unless you want to see my bitchy side!

I really don’t think you are supposed to… [insert innocuous activity here, such as walking, drinking tap water, standing, stretching, laying on your back or stomach, etc.]!

First of all, it’s my body—if it didn’t feel right, I wouldn’t do it.

Second, I’m pretty sure most—if not all—pregnant women are doing the best they can. That said, nine months is a long time and I think it’s simply not possible to always abide by the precautionary principle. Maybe drinking filtered water is better but it’s easier to drink tap water… and I’m pretty sure it’s okay to do so in Canada. Taking hot showers is not recommended but I’m sorry, if it’s freezing outside, I need to warm up. It’s better to always eat healthy, exercise, rest, sleep eight hours a night, never stress out, etc. but life happens. Pregnant women are not perfect, and they aren’t robots either. They feel guilty enough about all that they couldn’t do or didn’t do. Leave them alone. Seriously.  Especially if you have no idea what you are talking about—we don’t need random strangers to be the pregnancy police.

You think you are busy now? Wait until the baby is there!

Yes, I think I’m busy. I’m working full-time, I’m looking for more contracts because I don’t get any mat leave, I’m pregnant, and I’m getting ready for a kid. I think I can safely say I’m busy. When the baby will be here, I will be busy as well. Don’t you try to scare me. I will manage.

Kids are expensive, you know.

Wow, a financial planner! Are you offering me money?

While raising a child costs money, it’s like everything else: it depends how you do it. If you want the perfect nursery, if you buy all the stuff Babies “R” Us “helpfully” recommends and need round-the-clock care, yes, you will spend a lot of money. If you have helpful friends who can lend stuff, if you are willing to be flexible and shop around for bargains, it gets much more affordable.

Like planning a wedding, buying a house or other major life events, having a baby is doable on a small budget. But hey, if you want to spare a few hundreds…

Meh, the first one is nothing. Wait until your second or third!

I like kids and I’m happy to be having one… but seriously, right now, I just can’t bear the thought of being pregnant again. So please, let me finish one kid before I even start considering having another, alright? Right now, I’m just trying to survive.

So I was in labour, there was blood everywhere and oh my God the pain was unbearable…

I so do not want to hear your awful labour and birth story. I’d rather have dinner with Nickelback and listen to their entire discography than listening to you. That’s how badly I want you to shut up right now.

Are your in-laws going to be okay if it’s a girl?

Well, of course not. We will ship her to Mongolia and try for another one until we have a boy.

No, seriously, what are people thinking? I know my in-laws are Chinese, but they are also educated and smart people—and contrary to popular belief, Chinese don’t hate baby girls.

Whatever documentary you’ve seen on T.V. on gendercide doesn’t apply to the vast majority of Indians or Chinese families, much less to these communities in Canada.

Was it planned? Is the father around?

Does my French accent make me look like a slut?

Well, [insert random pregnant woman complaint, such as feeling huge, peeing all the time, etc.] is not going to get any better, you know!

Thank you for your encouragement, I really appreciate it. Now I really have something to look forward too.

Seriously, I don’t understand why people need to be so negative. All we need is a bit of support or a sympathetic ear—no one wants to know it’s going to get worst you sadistic person!

[Sententious tone] Babies are God’s will, you know.

Not in my book. They are the result of my partner and I having sex. You must have been praying during sex ed.

Oh trust me, your life is going to change [said very bitterly]!

Newsflash: life always changes. Meet someone, your life changes; move somewhere, your life changes; start a new career, your life changes.

That’s… well, that’s life. It would be boring otherwise, no?

Now I don’t see why people put such a negative spin on it—change is fun, and you adapt to it!

Any strange things people told you when you were pregnant? Would any of these comments annoy you?

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About Author

French woman in English Canada. World citizen, new mom, traveler, translator, writer and photographer. Looking for comrades to start a new revolution.

26 Comments

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