I Belong Here... And There Too
Canada Cookies
Five days after the big ceremony, I still have to pinch myself from time to time. I. Am. Canadian. God, I love it.
A lot of people around me are quite curious about it. Can I get dual citizenship? Yes I can, I didn’t lose my French citizenship. How long did the whole process take? The citizenship process took 11 months, but I had been in Canada for almost five years before that. Do I feel different? Well, yes and no. I feel like I achieved something. I am what I am, a bit of this and a bit of that I guess.
This got me thinking. I was born in France, of French parents, so I am French. No-brainer here. But because I left the country right after graduating from high school, little by little, I lost my French identity. Obviously, I adapted to Canada — this was bound to happen. But I also lost it in a very practical way. For example, as a French, I was covered by the French health care system and had a health card (carte de sécu). Well, because I stopped living there, it’s not valid anymore. I’m not sure what the requirements are to keep your health coverage in France but my card stopped working sometimes in 2006.
I used to vote in France. Well, basically, I would go to the French embassy in Ottawa and fill up the papers to give my father my proxy. I believe that voting is both a right and a responsibility and I was happy to do it. I vote for the presidential elections. I vote for something else, can’t remember what. And then next thing you know, it was the municipal elections, and then the European referendum on the Constitution, and then the regional elections… and then I got lost. I didn’t know the candidates, didn’t live anywhere in France and frankly, I couldn’t have cared less who was winning. I just didn’t have an opinion because. I had lost the taste for French politics.
I slowly started to remove all my French IDs left in my wallet to make some room for the Canadian ones. A carte de sécu for an Ontario Health Card, a carte d’identité for a permanent resident card, a carte d’électeur for a library card…
Eventually, all of my IDs expired and I didn’t renew them. Dealing with the French consulate in Toronto (since the embassy in Ottawa is now basically useless) was too much hassle. I was left with only one piece of valid ID– incidentally the most important one: my French passport, issued in 2003, and valid for 10 years.
Meanwhile, I had obtained all my Canadian IDs as I had many rights as a permanent resident: full access to the job market, social benefits and health care. The only things I couldn’t do were voting and applying for a Canadian passport.
I loved the irony. I had no status in France but I had a French passport, and my life was in Canada but I couldn’t vote nor have a passport.
It became less funny when, last year, the French administration suddenly remembered I existed. My parents received a letter for me: I was called for jury duty. But not just any jury duty: a several month-long murder trial jury duty.
Shit, or rather, merde. What the…?
Well, because I never really “moved” to Canada, I never informed the French administration that I had left the country. It’s a bit of a grey area here. If you move later in life, when you have a job, property etc. obviously you have to deal with taxes, closing bank accounts etc. But in my case, I went to work to Hong Kong right after I graduated from high school and attended university in France while I was traveling and while later I was in Canada (and yes, I graduated in case you are wondering). That’s it. I have never really worked in France (except for a few very temporary positions) so I didn’t have to pay taxes. I have never rented a place, my official address is still at my parents’. I had no belonging, no properties so I didn’t move officially. I simply started spending more and more time abroad till the day I became a permanent resident in Canada.
So apparently, I had no rights to health care, benefits etc. in France (sounds logic) but I could be called for jury duty. Weird.
I sent a letter explaining that I was now living in Canada, working, and that I wouldn’t be able to attend a several month-long trial. I do take my duties seriously, but I would have had a hard time completing this one.
It wasn’t a problem since I never heard from them after that. But it got me thinking. What did having French citizenship mean to me? And how about Canadian citizenship?
I’m glad I became Canadian. I chose this country as my new home and I plan to fulfill my duties as a citizen. I don’t mind being French either and I will always be European, at least to a certain extent. But I don’t care about Bastille Day, I can’t sing La Marseillaise, I don’t vote anymore… I don’t even speak French on a regular basis…! I’m certainly not using my rights as a French citizen (although I do complain from time to time) nor fulfilling my duties. Weird.
How about you guys? Expats, immigrants, newcomers, new citizens? How do you deal with having dual citizenship, or living abroad? Do you still vote back home, celebrate holidays etc.?
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Since we moved to Canada when we were young the only tie I have with Taiwan, is my Taiwanese passport or ROC passport. Sometimes I think I should abolish the passport since I only used it twice in my life (to visit Taiwan). So I have been having identity crisis for over a decade now, but I find it difficult to explain my situation to some people.
Many Taiwanese question my identity and think I’m not patriot enough since I don’t LOVE Taiwan or am Taiwanese enough? What does being Taiwanese mean anyway? On the other hand, when I hear sensible political subject I get all offended and try to defend my birth country in public as best as I can. So am I really Taiwanese? I’d say 5% of me is and other other 95% is Canadian.
Besides I’m too banana for my Taiwanese friends so I often can relate to them or even understand their mentality. Hence the reason I barely hang out with Taiwanese people. I only have 2 close Taiwanese friends whom one I speak French to and the other one in Mandarin.
Now I’m moving to Denmark on August 31 and I’m sure I’ll lose my right to vote in Canada. I can’t become a Dane until 9 years of permanent residency and they don’t allow dual citizenship. So how Canadian will I be when I move abroad? Will I change? Will I still be a die hard Canadian? I don’t know…But I’d like to keep my voting right and still be in touch with my adopted country.
So we’ll see how well I’ll adapt to Danish society despite all the horror stories I’ve heard from expats online and those whom I’ve met in real life. I actually met 3 Canadian in Copenhagen last time I was there and it was nice to talk about home. Home is where a heart belongs. Nationality might be given by birth but it can also be an identity adopted by one.
It seems like other immigrants and locals don’t think I’m ‘Canadian’ when they ask my nationality. Well, my nationality IS Canadian, but my ethnicity is Taiwanese. I think people should rephrase their question instead of telling me I’m not Canadian. Well, I’m damn proud to be one and will never change!
Well put, Zhu. I have been through all the stages you described (though I did tell the government that I was leaving)
I’ve said it several times before in my blog, after almost 9 years of having been here, I feel that I will never be 100% Canadian, but there is no way I will ever be 100% Argentine again (even if I moved back there, which we won’t). I’m 42, and I’m still discovering a new world, learning new things every day, and I love it. Sure, sometimes I feel we might have sacrificed our own happiness for the sake of our kids, and I had to start all over again at 33, after having worked for over 15 years, but I would do it all over again.
Many times I asked myself what defines me… I’m neither ‘fully’ Argentine nor I’m ‘fully’ Canadian. I’m somewhere in between, and that ‘in-between-ness’ is what I am. I have learned to embrace it; it’s much healthier than spending the time trying to figure out ways to feel better about yourself… like putting down others. I chose to live here, and I love it, but that doesn’t mean that I will be waiting for bad things to happen in ARG to say ‘too good I left’ to myself. I’m nothing special, just an Argentine-Canadian.
Welcome to the ‘expat’ world, Zhu!
This is one of the things that I sometimes find myself stubborn. Sometimes, I pick the childish way and just not face the problems at all, hoping that they disappear. I’ve lived in 6 different locations in 3 countries (plus one territory), and if you ask me what my identity is, I would have a hard time answering that. I just do not feel any attachment to a certain national entity anymore, perhaps that is the reason why I do not vote (heck, I don’t even know who is running for office nowadays in the country that I can legally vote). Holidays don’t really mean anything to me, so I take a day off when I feel like it. I’ve talked about this before in my blog, about the feeling of simply not planting myself in the current place that I am in, since who knows, I might be leaving it sometime in the future. So yeah, I am still moving around, and although I do realize that I have to settle somewhere sooner or later, I still haven’t found out where that place would be.
@Guillermo — I think you are right… we are just in between! I don’t mind though.
@Seb — Must have been tons of fun, indeed.
@Khengsiong — It’s hard when the country doesn’t recognize dual citizenship. I would have felt weird losing my French citizenship I think.
@CM-Chap — Voting for Sarkozy? Over my dead body!
I hate this guy…
@Gail at Large — Were you kicked out of OZ?
Like you, I think being a citizen of two countries has nothing to do with patriotism of the love you can have for the place you live in. It teaches you to accept cultural differences and to consider yourself as a world citizen. I love it actually.
@Bluefish — “Home is where a heart belongs. Nationality might be given by birth but it can also be an identity adopted by one.”
This sentence is beautiful and so true: I feel exactly the same.
I can see that being Taiwanese and explaining people you are from there, but above all Canadian can be challenging. On top of that, Taiwan status itself is challenging!
I think Feng is the same. A bit Chinese, sure, but he grew up in Canada and therefor is more Canadian than Chinese, for sure.
@Gabriel — 9 years in Canada, already? Wow!
I think you are right, we are a bit of both, almost a third culture actually. You will always be Argentinian (football fan!) like I will always be French (aaah… blue cheese…!) but yet, we are very much Canadian and we can realize that when we visit home.
@Linguist-in-Waiting — I remember your posts about identity and I guess we are the same. Maybe it doesn’t matter actually in this big global world…
If you slowly started to remove all French IDs, I think, that’s good for the easiness of bureaucracy. Zhu still remain Zhu.