And Now, a Page of Internet Drama…

Sad face (because, who wants enemies??)

Sad face (because, who wants enemies??)

We were about the same age. I was already a Canadian citizen, she was living in Buenos Aires, Argentina, and she had applied for permanent residence in Canada. She started commenting on this blog in 2013, I replied, and I interviewed her as part of the “immigrants series”.

I related to her situation. The process had been quick and relatively painless for me, but I remember the stress gathering the paperwork, the weird feeling when waiting for a life-changing decision, living out of a bag, a foot in each country. I felt for her. She updated me about the lengthy process along the way. I didn’t much to offer other than moral support and a few practical tips.

I’m not an immigration lawyer or a life coach. What I do best, I think, is chronicling life in Canada as openly and honestly as I can, the good and the bad. It is a narrow perspective, but occasionally people relate to it and I like when our paths and experiences intersect—these connections make us feel human.

She stayed in touch on Twitter and in comments, updating me about her latest immigration drama. A couple of times, I edited and proofed letters she sent to her visa office. I followed up with another interview.

In 2015, we met for a coffee in Buenos Aires. Mark was with me. I met a few “blog acquaintances” in person a few times and it’s usually a fun experience to cross the bridge from the digital to the physical world. She spoke fast, like many Latinas. She quizzed me about Canada, was anxious about her immigration process, asked me questions I couldn’t give an honest answer to—I had no idea why she was stuck in immigration limbo.

She asked me to write a “reference letter” that she would forward to the immigration office. When I came back to Canada, I did write it and mailed her a couple of signed copies along with a small Starbucks gift card—just a token of encouragement, payback for the coffee she had bought me in Buenos Aires.

She emailed back to say she wanted one of these “Canada” reusable shopping bags from Walmart. I didn’t commit. To be honest, I didn’t want to do too many favours, we weren’t that close. Besides, it was winter in Canada and I was busy trying to find daycare #3 for Mark, queuing at the Post Office wasn’t exactly a priority.

Eventually, she did get her permanent resident visa. She landed in Montreal last spring. I was genuinely happy for her. I like happy endings.

But the ending wasn’t so happy. She began to complain in comments on this blog:

It’s not like I’m bored in Montréal now….I’ve always been. Even when I came last year, I found this place sooo boring. Why would you be offended ? Montréal is boring. Any smaller city is even more boring. That’s the reality. And don’t get me started with small villages….

You know when you kill yoursel to learn both English and French before moving to Canada, and once here you start looking for work and they tell you that your main asset is that you speak…..Spanish ? FML ! xD

Montréal sucks. It’s a disgusting city. It’s dirty, the subway doesn’t work and they try to put the French up to your butt. Looks like a branch of Nigeria or sth in here. Black people who don’t shower, so with +40 degrees, you can imagine how cool it is to take the subway or the bus…..

At first, I was surprised. She had come to Canada once for a visit and she had spent years researching the country and planning for new life. It was a bit early to be cynical. I know the first few steps as a permanent can feel overwhelming… but she was very negative and her comment was simply racist. I didn’t know what to say. In one of my replies, I put it like this:

I think my reaction is because you’re so new here. Like, imagine someone who just landed his dream job after many many interviews. And then he starts the job and a month later, he hates it, he says it’s boring, doesn’t like his coworkers, etc. I would probably think “dude, you’ve barely started!” But if the same person would complain after working there for a few years, I would be more sympathetic, “yeah, maybe you’ve learned everything there was to learn, you probably need a new challenge.”

And then, last week, she left a comment on one of my Canada Day articles:

How dare you say “I truly think Canada is doing a great job integrating immigrants” ?? Are you a newcomer by any chance ?? Well, I am, and let me tell you they are not. At all !
I think you’d better listen right….lots of newcomers do complain about the country, you’re just not attached to them.
I’m not an idiot for complaining if the country isn’t treating me right. Maybe you’re, for idealizing a country that has many issues like any other country in the world.

Again, she took me by surprise. I replied.

Er… hello, we know each other, I was a newcomer at one point too! You’re entitled to your opinion but overall, compared to the “Old World” and many countries, I think Canada is doing a pretty good job of integrating new immigrants.
I’m not offended at all if you complain about Canada, it’s not personal and I have complaints too (sometime shifting through time).

However, I’m very surprised by your attitude. You went from “Canada is my dream” to… well, so many complaints over the past few months.

And then… Well, here a screenshot of the complete exchange below:

FireShot Screen Capture #035 - 'Faces in the Crowd – This is Us, Who We Are – Correr Es Mi Destino' - correresmidestino_com_canada-day-street-photography

What hurt the most?

That she attacked me personally. That she went straight for my Achilles’ heel, Feng and Mark, whom she met. That she used me and turned so nasty and bitter. That she was so rude, racist and aggressive. All that for what?

Occasionally, I get an anonymous racist comment along the lines of “ah ah, Canada has way too many immigrants, we don’t need you!” I don’t even delete them, freedom of speech and all. I disagree, that’s all. Once I had an argument with a commenter who claimed I should burn my French passport, that I couldn’t possibly be loyal to France and Canada. But overall, in the past 15 years, the side effects of having a blog and an opinion were very mild.

But this time, it was personal. Too personal.

That night, a hundred thoughts went through my mind, mostly revolving around deleting this blog. I’ve seen blogs disappearing overnight or going private because of such interactions. I understand why now.

The following morning, I half expected to read a message from her, apologizing, explaining all the drama. Maybe she was drunk the night before. We all make mistake, right? Instead, I had several messages from people who had read the exchange and offered sympathy. Thank you.

She could have called me fat, ugly, ignorant—but no, she went straight for what would hurt the most, Mark. Cheap shot.

Then Nice happened, and now the coup in Turkey, and frankly, in the grand scheme of things, she is nothing to me. It sucks. I’d rather have friends than enemies. But I’m better off without her racist comments and all the drama.

I stand by my words—what goes around comes around.


About Author

French woman in English Canada. World citizen, new mom, traveler, translator, writer and photographer. Looking for comrades to start a new revolution.


  1. Non mais elle se prend pour qui cette poufiasse? If we were in the middle of winter I would (maybe) say that she has some serious case of winter depression, but being in the middle of summer for you, I can’t find any excuse for being so rude and insulting. Does she miss her family? Ok, understandable. Does she hate the weather? Yeah, ok that possible too, but who’s to blame? Now insulting you, your blog, your family, that’s not cool at all. You have been too patient with her comments. You should delete them all and ignore them. Don’t reply. It’s such a waste of energy!

    And yes, I agree with you that Canada as a country has done a great job integrating its immigrants, but of course some people are just not cut for it. Instead of complaining, these people should just go back were they came from. And I’m not being racist, that’s just one big life decision to make for yourself (if you have the luxury of a choice, that is, some people don’t even have that). Seriously. You know our story, you know sometimes it’s not just black or white, but then we learn and grow from our mistakes and experiences.

    This girl doesn’t seem to have learned anything… Because, er, Argentina is not doing great right now, much, much worse than Canada. My mom is my weekly reminder! 😉

    • Zhu said it all. People like her will never be happy, no matter where they go, until they realize that the problem is them, not their surroundings… To hell with her and her hatred. She will find a new target soon, somebody else to use and then hate. People like her feed on that junk

    • I know it’s tough to move to a new country, starting all over again. It feels lonely too. But yes, I think her attitude is a waste because ultimately, she pushes people away which definitely won’t help in the long run. Not to mention that there is never a good time to be racist…

      I kind of agree with you, I think that if you don’t like where you live, it’s better to leave at one point. I understand it’s not always easy and doable though, especially when you have a family. Complaining is fine too, there are aspects of Canada and life in North America I can’t stand. I try to be positive, even though I’m often cynical and sarcastic. But I don’t dump my shit on other people.

  2. Oh, yes, I remember this one… Well, the name she chose to identify herself says it all. I have been lucky enough to have severed all kinds of communication with that person long ago. I’m happy for you now.

    Good riddance!

  3. I’m so sorry she attacked you like that. I never saw her original comments. She does sound like a really unhappy person, but it’s her own responsibility at this point and at the very least, not yours at all. My jaw dropped at the blatant racism in her comments. And the way she wrote about Mark and your family!
    You’re opened enough to share your struggle, and I think that’s why many people can relate to you. I’m pretty sure motherhood is not all sunshine and rainbows for everyone. And admitting to that does not mean that you are not a good mother or don’t love your son. It only makes you a human being, a woman capable of recognizing her limits and discussing them, something she is incapable of.
    It’s so obvious that you love Mark and are doing your best with him. He is a lucky little fellow and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

    • It’s funny because I immediately thought of you. You mentioned several times that privacy was important for you and you also shared difficult stories in the past, and I can see why you are being careful and all. Yes, personal attacks hurt. It makes us feel vulnerable. However, it’s also rare (phew!) and… thank you for your kind words and support 🙂

      • Yes, it’s funny but I feel that people who write or read blog will understand where I am coming from (most of them) but I worry pple in my personal life may not understand why I write about all that.
        But the reason why I write about that stuff i bcse I hope to show hope and that it’s possible to still have a great life even when you went through shit.
        And yes, personal attack are tough. But obviously in this case it’s stemming from her having a chip on her shoulder…

  4. Sorry this happened to you. But please don’t delete your blog. I’ve been reading it for years and it has helped me through some very dark times. I don’t comment much but appreciate your efforts for great content.

    • Hello!

      No, seriously, I don’t think I would delete the blog. I wasn’t threatening to either!

      I’m sorry you went through dark times (are you okay now?) and I’m glad if somehow I helped. Thank you for saying it, it means a lot to me.

  5. Chiruza Canadiense on

    I’m not wasting time reading you endless posts anymore. So I didn’t read it. I have a life. Sorry you don’t. You complain about not having time, yet apparently you do have enough time to write boring endless posts all the time.

    I’m gonna quote you: ” I rarely hear anything negative about immigrants in Canada. Maybe I choose to ignore idiots…”…so who started to attack who here ?? Who the fuck do you think you are to call an idiot a newcomer who knows waaay more than you how Canada welcomes immigrants nowadays ??

    You’re clueless and you think you’re the master of the universe, that’s the problem. I’m putting you in your place, and, well, of course….Cinderella is now ofended. Well, “fuck you lady”, just like you said to me too many times.

    You always choose to play the victim role, just like you do with your in-laws. You attack people and expect not to defend themselves back….WTF ?!

    Honestly, I think it would be very interesting to listen to your in-laws. I bet their position is very different from yours and, considering you think you’re so smart and know everything, I would probably agree with whatever they say about you.

    I don’t care if we’ve met. You knew me for what, half an hour ?! And I have to like you because of that ?? Even if you called me an idiot ?? You’re sooo mistaken lady.

    • Hello Laura,

      I considered blocking you the other day but I’m against censorship, so I didn’t. I’m actually glad you left a comment.

      You are saying you are done with this blog yet you are coming back to it, which I find amusing. But I don’t mind being your hate-read moment.

      I’m truly sorry it came down to this. I don’t want to play victim, I think I could have handled it better but you went too far with personal attacks. That I can’t take. It could have been “I say Canada doing a good job of welcoming immigrant” vs. “you say it doesn’t” and that’s it, just a disagreement, big deal. I don’t think I attacked you. I’m sorry you perceived it this way. From my perspective, I helped you, tried to support you morally but you turned against me. I think you are angry and that I’m an easy target.

      Why would you even read my article about my in-laws if you hate this blog? And why yet another personal attack? I’m sure they have their side of the story, we don’t hate each other, I was simply writing as usual from my perspective.

      Oh, and I think also that it’s pretty clear by now that I am not the master of the universe 😆

  6. It’s easy to sling mud while hiding behind a wall: no name, no blog/website, protected Twitter account.

    But that is some serious vitriol. I just read the original interview, the second interview, and now the comments. If it wasn’t for the name, I would’ve thought this came from two different people.

    But then with the behaviour swing being so EXTREME, it sounds more like undiagnosed bipolar disorder. (I’m speaking without any sarcasm, only from life experience with people I’ve known getting diagnosed.)

    • That’s a very good point and like you, I’m not being sarcastic. That or she is very lonely.

      You must have dealt with your share of unpleasant people Gail, didn’t you?

      • Thankfully, very very rarely in the 14 years of the blog and it didn’t go far in the comments section. There are a couple of comments in this blog — a long time ago — that were made purely to intimidate.

        I can think of one individual in particular, just after I moved to Toronto. I found out later I was stalked, which was unsuccessful since I don’t show photos of exactly where I live. Some months later, the situation escalated to criminal activity — not directly aimed at me, but I was the only one who had a chance to prove the perpetrator. I had no idea about it until after it had happened, but the crime was like a taunt: “You want to ignore me? Here’s something that will get your attention.” Ultimately, I couldn’t bring enough evidence forward to place charges.

        The problem is when the behaviour is psychological; harassment is notoriously difficult to prove. There were phone calls, voicemails, emails from this person, and I’d documented everything, but the burden of proof was solely on me, and I had no energy or money to fight this in court. I felt insane, though I knew I was the sane one. I’d recently lost a husband, our cat had just died, and I’d moved across the border to a city where I was alone. It was a miracle, after all that, that I actually stayed in Toronto for as long as I did. I went a little underground, though, I didn’t want to leave the house or socialize. But I stuck it out, met good people and everything got better after that.

        I let karma do its thing.

        • Wow… that’s scary. I was asking you because you’ve been blogging for a long time and you aren’t afraid to voice an opinion (I mean it in a good way!).

          I’m curious about the stalker situation back then. You’re right, without strong evidence, there isn’t much that could have been done. Poor you, you must have gone through hell, on top of already going through hell in your personal life. I really admire you… you’re one of the strongest person I know, and one of the brave souls who isn’t afraid to take risks.

          • I thought 2005 was hell, then along came 2006 with all kinds of fresh hell!

            10 years on, it’s much easier to reflect on that situation more calmly and neutrally, but at the time I was an emotional wreck. I had just repatriated to a new city and the isolation was acute.

            It’s hard to have any feeling of perspective while alone — the feelings get amplified, and I think it’s why we (expats) must work these feelings out externally with people we trust. Because otherwise we go truly crazy ourselves.

            I draw the line at ad hominem attacks, though, that is definitely NOT the way to deal with the stress of moving abroad! Join a gym, volunteer, do something for the community.

            As also a blogger that has not been commenting much (anywhere), I suddenly have LOTS to say! 🙂

          • That’s cool, thank you for sharing your experience! Like you, I’m still reading your articles and following your photo art, I just rarely say anything. Only when the circumstances call for it or when I feel I have input.

            You bet it wasn’t the right time for you… if there is ever a right time for such abuse! It’s almost like some people can be when another human being feels vulnerable :-/

      • Martin Penwald on

        Such anger can be the sign of an old trauma not healed, no?
        It doesn’t excuse the racist slurs, yet.

  7. Wow. Talk about taking out one’s problems on someone who had nothing to do with them. It’s not as if you personally made her visa process hard. All you did was try to help her. How hurtful to be attacked in return. Even though her opinion doesn’t matter and what she said about you is so far from the truth, it brings senseless negativity into your life. What I hate is how happenings like this make us question people’s decency and common courtesy. It (temporarily, hopefully) puts a damper on our perspective of people (that’s how I feel, anyway) even if we know a lot of good people. There’s a huge difference between disagreeing and attacking. Well, we all know you’re the rational one here.

    • Thank you, because frankly at one point I was kind of getting paranoid… like, did I actually do something wrong? I could have handled it better, maybe just let it go when I realized we weren’t on the same page at all. I don’t know.

      But again, her latest comment tonight…

  8. Hey Zhu,

    I have been keenly reading your blog since 2011 and moved to Canada in 2013. I don’t comment your articles very often as I am a lazy guy – this is my second comment in 5 years, I wrote the first one when you announced your were pregnant (I was so happy for you !).

    Just wanted to thank you for your blog. Somehow you find the inspiration to write interesting articles on original topics every week. You help me understand this country, you make me smile, you make me learn.

    It is kinda sad that someone gratuitously attacked you like this on your own blog – this is so rude. Please don’t worry too much about it, and please don’t forget all of the other readers who enjoy reading your articles.

    Btw when I became a landed immigrant in 2013 I felt amazingly welcomed and was impressed by how good Canada (or at least Montreal) is at integrating newcomers !

    Thank you for taking the time to write this blog and for sharing your thoughts. It is always a pleasure.

    PS. Mais ouais quelle poufiasse quoi, elle a fumé de la beuh c’est pas possible 🙂

    • Salut Thomas!

      I actually find it very flattering, in a non-creepy kind of way, to know that some people are lurking without commenting. Wait. That sounded dirty, didn’t it? 😆

      I’m three years late, but bienvenue à Montréal! I’m glad to hear you are having a positive experience, even though I’m sure there are some frustrating moments at times cause yes, life isn’t always easy for newcomers.

      Thank you for your kind and inspiring words…

      And I think the problem is, elle n’avait PAS fumé. Peut-être qu’elle devrait???

  9. Zhu,

    Your posts are mostly interesting and you have given me many positive thoughts and energies.
    Thank you for writing and please keep up with it.
    And, I admire your courage to migrate to a country where you didn’t speak the language, and today, you have perfect written English (I’m sure orally too), I don’t think I would ever be that good in written French.
    So the different being, you migrated to a country, stick to it, learn the language, and love your life, and spread your positive synergy. Thank you again.

    • I return you the kind words, I truly admire the way you are fitting in a place that isn’t always super open to immigrants and the way you are making a multicultural relationship work! Your articles are often inspiring to me because they allow me to gain another perspective on “East meets West” 😉

  10. Dearest Zhu,

    I read this post in its entirety and wanted to say I am so sorry you have to deal with people like that. I honestly feel it’s a waste of energy and your emotions so I am here to offer a few words of comfort.. just in case you forgot you’ve got a whole fan club rooting for you:)

    I’ve been reading your blog for many years now, long before your precious little Mark showed up. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again you are a wonderful mother and a wonderful human being. Your “whining” is a disguise for your brilliant dark sarcastic sense of humor that makes that wicked fun personality of yours shine though and keeps this blog so refreshingly realistic 🙂

    Now aside from personal topics that I enjoy very much, you have also helped so many of us by writing all those fantastic blog posts on immigration process and life in Canada, let’s be realistic there is really no true gain in any of this for you other than to help others adjust better after they have arrived in their new country. You have helped me personally tremendously and for that I am forever grateful. I am about to become a landed immigrant in Canada myself in a few weeks, and my path towards that been a DECADE long.. yes, 10 long years. Obviously I can’t speak about adjusting as I am not there yet, however I am realistic, I did my research, I know Canada owes me nothing… it is ME who needs to adjust and embrace my new country. What can I offer to Canada and its people, not the other way around.. Loneliness and frustration is part of the price you pay when you decide to leave your motherland, dealing with that anger and frustration *appropriately* is crucial, or else you won’t make it no matter where you decide to immigrate!

    Having said that I almost feel for the angry girl.. though I really wish she would speak up about her troubles as a new immigrant in Canada in a respectful CLASSY way. Sadly now all the respect is gone, however there is still much for her to learn from this experience..

    Over the past few years you and I have exchanged a few personal emails as well, all extremely friendly and pleasant, you have far exceeded my expectations as you go above and beyond what any blogger I know does for their readers, offer help and advice whenever you can, not to mention reply to each and every comment.

    So don’t you dare delete your blog young Lady. this is my Sunday secret pleasure read, a true treat that I ritually have with my morning coffee :)) ok? ok:)
    Wish you and you beautiful family all the best!!
    Bianca, hugs from Europe

    • I’m really happy our paths crossed and you’ve been a really considerate and kind person, a perfect example of when it is worth it to communicate privately and a bit more in depth with readers. Seriously. I don’t know you personally and I don’t know if we will ever meet (such a big country!) but I’m happy you shared your story and your perspective. So yes, interactions-gone-wrong make me wary of getting closer to readers, but then I remember the times when it was a cool experience… so I’m happy you are reminding me this 🙂

      It tough to move to a new country. Honestly, I’d be a bit surprised to hear only positive comments after the honeymoon period. But it’s also important to know what is caused by your attitude… I strongly believe you can complain/whine in a positive way, acknowledging what you cannot change and what can be worked out.

      • Great! Now… can you please send me a Walmart bag?
        Just kiddinggggg… relaaax :))

        We love you Juliette, I mean just take a look at all the warm support you’re receiving? Please don’t ever stop blogging.. and though we’ve never met in person you are close and dear to my heart, based solely on the impact your writing has had on my life 🙂

        All the best and be well, I wish you a great summer
        Oh and I’ll be reading you from Canada from now on!

        • Something pretty awesome came out of it actually, I wasn’t summoning my “personal army” but the support was way beyond what I expected. Originally, I just wanted to answer the “WTF??” questions I had from readers who saw the comments 🙂

          When are you coming?

          • I’ll be landing in a couple of weeks, right now I am in the midst of some major packing up.. I’ll shoot you an email when I get a chance:)
            Hugs, bianca

          • Oh, that’s awesome! I’m excited for you 🙂 I can’t wait for you to… be able to buy a WalMart bag 😉

  11. Oh em gee, you are posting this! Sorry that I asked you via twitter a while ago! Sending you hugs from raining Jakarta!
    I love your writing, don’t you ever STOP BLOGGING! EVER!!!!! Hope, if (not if then, WHEN) I make it to your part of the world, I will looking for you!!!! Next Spring hopefully 😉

  12. You are being very patient with her, I would have blocked her long ago. It seems as if she is very unhappy … I do understand that as I was unhappy for sometime in France. A negative outlook on life will attract some more negativity, she needs to find positive things to focus. If Canada is not good match, sometimes you have to accept failure and look elsewhere.

    In any case

  13. Oh, just don’t give her another thought. She sounds unstable and her perception is really off. As others in this comments section have said, your blog is a sharing of human struggles and it takes courage and heart to be vulnerable like that. I for one can relate to much of what you say and I love reading your blog posts. You feel like a friend to me from reading your work. Your love for your family is very clear, don’t give any more energy to this issue.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. I think at this stage I have to admit I’m not that courageous, but that writing about life, the ups and downs of it, helps me a lot too 🙂

  14. Oh! Juliette I am so sorry you had to go through such an unpleasantness.

    Your blog, your thought and insights in your articles are not just interesting, I find them credible and sometimes they are just so hilarious; what I am trying to say is, that this is a beautiful place you have created. When I was researching for things before moving to Canada, your blog came as a great help, and the fact you had done that for no rewards speaks volumes. Once my need for information was over, I kept coming back 🙂 I love reading about Mark, there has been so many times when I told my wife, “so today Mark did this or that…” and we had a good decent laugh at how a kid’s world is; you a have thing going on there, a very interesting writing style.

    I remember, when you came down to downtown to meet and welcome us to Canada 🙂 I admire you so much for the kind of person you are; and I really feel bad, that on that very account, you have been mistreated and disrespected. This individual got personal and petty; (what the hell was that comment about Starbucks!), it is terrible, horrible experience; I feel so sorry.

    People can (and do) be in a hard spot when they are new to a country; we were too, for a little while, it is no excuse for being an asshole. We are going to complete a year in Ottawa next month, and people here have been courteous, and so helpful, so polite, I cannot thank Canada and Canadians enough! I have met some really awesome people here, you being one (and foremost) of them.

  15. Je rejoins Cynthia, tu as été fort patiente, je l’aurais bloquée dès les premiers messages qui tournaient à l’attaque personnelle. Je suis contre la censure, sauf chez moi, chez moi on ne m’attaque pas, on ne m’insulte pas et on surveille son langage. Donc je censure s’il le faut (mais comme je vis au pays des calibisounours je n’ai eu qu’une seule fois à le faire :))

    • J’ai aussi pensé à toi en “gérant” la situation, je comprends mieux la façon dont tu protèges tes filles (et toi-même) en ligne en adoptant un anonymat relatif. Je ne regrette pas ma façon de faire, mais je réfléchis à mieux gérer ces situations, heureusement rares.

  16. I appreciate you being honest about your feelings and opinions on your blog. I wouldn’t read your blog if it is all sugar coated and politically correct. This is life and everyone is entitled to his/her perspective based on their experience. My response to the negative person is to migrate elsewhere if Canada is not right for her, or just go straight home. Don’t read your blog if she dislikes it so much. I worked for 5 years in US under work permit until a company agreed to sponsor me for green card, which would have taken another 5 years to process. For the first 5 years, I worked for a big well-known corporation where the legal dept was either too lazy or against immigrants that they wouldn’t approve my bosses’ (yes, multiple) recommendations for green card sponsorship. While I was on work permit and went through immigration at airport (while traveling in and out of the country), some bad immigration officers would give me dirty look and asked me why my company couldn’t find an American to do my job. I just had to calmly tell them guess not, because they gave me the job, just so that they wouldn’t intentionally lock me up in the interrogation room just to mess with me because of my attitude. It took me 8 years to become a resident (faster by 2 years because my husband became a citizen before while my residency process was still in the queue and sponsored me on a faster family reunification process). There will always be negative unwelcoming people, but there are plenty of people who are compassionate and embrace my struggle as an immigrant. This country is better than the one I came from, so no matter how painful, I am thankful to be where I am today. Yes, I was annoyed with people who didn’t work, didn’t pay tax and got a green card in less than a year through marriage. More annoyed at the time when no company would sponsor me for residency and I had to keep looking for another job, and most companies wouldn’t even hire anyone without a green card. Too bad Canada get a bad immigrant like her, but there are a lot of hardworking and immigrants with positive attitude as well. Unfortunately, the immigrants get bad rep sometimes because of people like her.

    • I’m really sorry you had to go through all that in the US. I’ve heard the process was long with a lot of red tape and I admire your resilience. It’s also natural at one point to resent people who had it easier or who took a shorter. We are human! That said, most people keep these thoughts to themselves because you *know* that ultimately, resentment won’t help. I know, it’s easy to give in to bitterness…

  17. Ugh Zhu – sorry you had to deal with this and, it would seem, again on the comments on here! That sucks. You were a MASSIVE source of help to me when immigrating. This blog in itself was a real help. It is hard to be a new immigrant and, of course, we will have complaints. I do agree though – the difference in immigrant integration here vs the UK is phenomenal! Canada shows the rest of the World how it can be done!

    • Thank you, you’re so nice! I remember when you asked for info, and I was super happy to see your happy ending (even more so now that you’re “baking” a little Canadian girl!)

      Meh, shit happens. I’m happy to turn the page on the drama.

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