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November 4, 2011 – 8:30 am | 8 Comments

Cana­di­ans like pets, and in res­i­den­tial neigh­bour­hoods it’s com­mon to see peo­ple walk­ing their dogs after an early diner, no mat­ter the weather.
How­ever, unlike French, Cana­di­ans are well-behaved and they pick up after their dogs—streets here are not dot­ted with dog poop.

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It's Okay Not To Believe

Submitted by on May 28, 2009 – 5:02 pm44 Comments
It's Okay Not To Believe

It’s Okay Not To Believe

I have been liv­ing in North Amer­ica long enough by now to real­ize that reli­gion — any reli­gion — and faith in gen­eral is quite impor­tant here.

Reli­gion has never been a part of my life. I grew up in an athe­ist fam­ily. My grand-mother’s father was proudly dis­play­ing his lack of faith in the small vil­lage he grew up in, at a time where it was not that com­mon to not believe in the big bearded guy above. A famous story goes that one day, the priest climb on the parish’s roof because he wanted to fix a miss­ing tile. His lad­der fell and, stuck on the roof, he called for help. My great-grand-father was nearby and taunted him:

– This is as close to Heaven that you are ever going to get!

This still makes my grand-mother laugh. Well, I assume he even­tu­ally helped the poor guy, but you get my point. We are a fam­ily of sin­ners. Proud sin­ners on top of that.

So, when I came to North Amer­i­can, I first had to over­come a few prej­u­dices. In France, there is a strong anti-cult law. As a result, French are extremely for­eign to any reli­gion that is not plain Roman Chris­t­ian, Judaism, Bud­dhism or Islam. Try it: next time you go to France, men­tion to your waiter, taxi dri­ver or fel­low train pas­sen­ger that you are an Angli­can, a LDS or what­ever, and see their eyes widen as they mut­ter some­thing like “poor you”.

How to define a cult and reli­gion — don’t ask me. The fact is that in North Amer­ica, there seem to be more reli­gions than soda brands and I’m okay with that. After all, why not? Believe in what makes you feel good.

What I have a really big prob­lem with is proselytism.

The other day, once again, I opened the door to see a woman and man stand­ing in front of me. The con­ver­sa­tion we had was quite surreal:

– Hi! (star­ing at me from head to toes) You are not Chinese.

Indeed, I’m not. Glad we could agree on some­thing — this is so rare these days.

– Do you have a Chi­nese per­son at home?

I wish I had replied some­thing witty, such as “no, it’s my Indian day”, but I was too sur­prised for that. Taken aback, I said that yes, a had a Chinese-Canadian Feng. Did these guys had superpowers?

– Is he here? We would like to talk to him about Jesus.

When I assured them that 1) he wasn’t there 2) he really wasn’t into Jesus (he likes the Red Hot Chili Pep­pers and U2 bet­ter), they didn’t believe me and told me they would be back. Can’t wait.

They never both­ered intro­duc­ing them­selves (I couldn’t see their name tags) and I didn’t have a chance to see their flyer’s title. Guess I wasn’t Jesus worthy.

Since I live in Canada, at least 30 peo­ple tried to con­vert me. But to me, going door to door try­ing to explain peo­ple they are going to hell is about as use­less as a tele­mar­keter who is call­ing at 11:00 pm to sell AIG stocks. How does shov­ing your beliefs in my face is going to make the world a bet­ter place?

And why this need to con­vince peo­ple your reli­gion is best?

Note that I have noth­ing against reli­gion. I’m indif­fer­ent, the same way I’m indif­fer­ent to golf, darts, curl­ing and the Twi­light movie. I don’t even care whether God exist or not. We are talk­ing about pros­e­lytism and free­dom of choice here.

I have never been a mil­i­tant athe­ist. I respect var­i­ous reli­gious beliefs: to each his own. But I do feel I belong to a minor­ity in North Amer­ica and my posi­tion as an athe­ist puz­zled quite a few. “Isn’t your life point­less?” “Is there such a thing as athe­ist moral­ity?” “You just haven’t found God yet!”.

Give. Me. A. Break.

Trust me, it’s hard being an athe­ist in North Amer­ica. Reli­gion isn’t part of pri­vate life: it’s every­where. It both­ered me for a while that pub­lic buses in Ottawa have religious-supported anti-abortion ads. Abor­tion is legal in Canada and although it can be your choice not to go that way if you ever find your­self fac­ing this issue, let oth­ers make up their mind. I don’t like when peo­ple come to my door and try to con­vert me. I’m busy and you are invad­ing my pri­vate space, no mat­ter how nice you are. I don’t like when politi­cians make a big deal of invok­ing God. Of course, they can believe, but their job is to serve cit­i­zens who are bound to believe in many Gods, or no God at all. It both­ers me that moral val­ues are so often asso­ciate with reli­gion: seri­ously, athe­ists have val­ues too!

Recently, an ad was dis­played on buses in Canada and all over the world: “there is prob­a­bly no God, so stop wor­ry­ing and enjoy your life”. It was a humorist and pos­i­tive way to bring aware­ness about athe­ism, human­ism, and sec­u­lar­ism. It was meant in a respect­ful way, with also the idea that churches and var­i­ous reli­gions do adver­tise in the bus, so why not athe­ist? Yet, reli­gious groups claim the state­ment was offen­sive. Come on, guys!

I just wish I didn’t feel like I was walk­ing on eggshells when­ever some­one men­tions reli­gion. Please, let me think freely. And stop try­ing to con­vert me. Or the Chi­nese guy at home.

Related posts:

  1. Los­ing My Religion
  2. Cig­a­rettes And Creationism
  3. Chal­lenge Your Beliefs
  4. The Woman in Black
  5. St-James United Church

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44 Comments »

  • Angela May says:

    Sorry! Didn’t mean to imply that I was blam­ing kyh for the video. I just find the “us against them” mes­sage fright­en­ing and had to post a com­ment express­ing why I find it frightening.

  • Samwise says:

    Zhu,

    Love the post; look for­ward to read­ing more.

    A quick semi-explanation of pros­e­ly­tiz­ing — I believe its pri­mary value to the faith is not in spread­ing it (really, any­one swayed by a cou­ple of smiles and a pam­phlet is likely not going to remain con­vinced for long) but in rein­forc­ing those already on board.

    We’re wired, psy­cho­log­i­cally, to mold our beliefs to fit our notions of who we are. We’ll even harm our­selves in order to avoid cog­ni­tive dis­so­nance — some­one who believes them­selves to be an unat­trac­tive, unde­sir­able mate is more likely to sab­o­tage a rela­tion­ship than change their belief, all with­out being con­scious of what they are doing or why.

    Some very basic beliefs, such as “I am ratio­nal” or “I act in accor­dance with my prin­ci­ples” have sub­tle and pow­er­ful ways of chang­ing our beliefs, given cer­tain actions. If I go door to door talk­ing to peo­ple about my belief, but do not really believe it that strongly, I feel incred­i­bly fool­ish. Since I *am* going door to door, it must be the case that I believe what I am telling these peo­ple, and believe it firmly. Because I am not a fool. Once a reli­gion gets some­one to take pos­i­tive action, the ratio­nal­iza­tion kicks in and the believer more strongly inter­nal­izes the mes­sage he is spreading.

    I think the same process takes place in cultures/groups which pro­mote sui­cide bomb­ings. Obvi­ously the bomber needs no rein­forc­ing, but those who knew the bomber, helped him, loved him — they must believe the cause is just, oth­er­wise their lost friend/brother/son died for noth­ing. And that is unthink­able. The fact that there is so great a cost forces ratio­nal­iza­tion that there must be a jus­ti­fi­ca­tion for that cost. This is orders of mag­ni­tude more severe than sat­ur­day morn­ing pam­phle­teer­ing, but I think the same prin­ci­ple is involved.

    Now I don’t believe this effect is the result of schem­ing — I’m not that cyn­i­cal. Rather I think it is sim­ply a prop­erty of reli­gions that works, and there­fore sur­vives. (I dig memet­ics, and view­ing reli­gions as mutat­ing repli­ca­tors helps me under­stand a lot.)

  • CrackerLilo says:

    Thanks for the insight into how (some) peo­ple out­side North Amer­ica view reli­gion. I find this valu­able for that alone.

    This exchange made me laugh hard:

    Hi! (star­ing at me from head to toes) You are not Chinese.

    Indeed, I’m not. Glad we could agree on some­thing — this is so rare these days.

    I’m sure he thought he had a really excel­lent way to reach a Chi­nese per­son for Jesus, too, and was dis­ap­pointed not to be able to use it.

    Pros­e­ly­ti­za­tion makes me absolutely crazy!
    .-= CrackerLilo´s last blog ..Happy (not to have to cel­e­brate) Easter! =-.

  • Batocchio says:

    Well writ­ten. I’m sur­prised you’ve run into so many peo­ple try­ing to con­vert you, but some areas are like that.

    Trust me, it’s hard being an athe­ist in North America.

    Yup. I have reli­gious friends who com­plain about con­de­scen­sion towards reli­gious peo­ple from athe­ists, and I’m sym­pa­thetic to a point. How­ever, here in the U.S., you’ll see politi­cians and other pub­lic fig­ures pan­der to reli­gious folk all the time, and make obvi­ously ridicu­lous claims such as “moral­ity is impos­si­ble with­out reli­gion.” Come­di­ans may make fun of reli­gious peo­ple, but athe­ists are never pan­dered to by those in gov­ern­ment (or seek­ing power in it). Con­se­quently, a healthy respect for athe­ists is one of impor­tant hall­marks for free­dom in a democracy.

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