What are the top 5 French things I really, really can’t find in Canada?

Protests

Let’s start with the obvious—France is a nation of proud demonstrators. According to the family story, I participated in my first demonstration at the tender age of three months. Apparently, I slept through the whole thing, which was no doubt very insensitive of me—we were protesting against massive layoffs in a local shipyard, a modern Zola tragedy. Not that my parents were working there, mind you. We were just showing support.

French love showing support. Like when railway workers go on strike, mail workers are quick to follow. It’s also okay to go on strike “on behalf” of the other categories of workers: in Spring 2003, there were huge transport strikes, when the transport was not concerned by the Government’s project on retirement age. The two big demonstration seasons are Spring and Fall—it might have something do to with the nice weather. Of course, summer would be best but then, people are on holidays.

Anybody can go on strike and demonstrate in France. The “big three” leaders of waves of strikes are usually the railway workers, the students/teachers and the farmers. That said, I have seen fishermen blocking harbours, electricity workers cutting power to government officials’ homes, cities where garbage was pilling up because garbage collectors wouldn’t work out an agreement with their unions, pig running wild in front of the Elysée thanks to angry farmers… even lawyers went on strike last year. Lawyers. Of all people…!

I have seen demonstrations in Canada. Well, someone had to point them to me, of course, because I just wasn’t sure what the ten people walking quietly round and round with placards were doing. Now I know: when more than ten Canadians gather in front of the Parliament, it’s because they are complaining about something. They do it very nicely, of course, they are Canadians. Like, I have never seen any of them chased by angry policemen throwing tear gas. A different culture, I’m telling you.

An efficient railway network

Now, I’m aware of the contradiction with the above paragraph but trust me: when the railway workers are not in strike (aim between November and February), the train is a blessing. The French high-speed train (Train à Grande Vitesse, TGV) is extremely efficient and comfortable. For example, there are 400 km between my hometown and Paris, and it only takes 2 hours to get there. There are also about 400 km between Ottawa and Toronto, but the overpriced train takes 4:30. VIA Rail proudly advertises 25 trains per week between the two cities. In France, I have one train per hour.

In North America, after World War II, improvements in automobiles and aircraft, and government subsidization of highways and airports made those means more practical for the people. Emphasis was given to build a huge national interstate highway system. In Europe, emphasis was given to rebuilding the railways after the war and urban mass transport systems was favoured.

As a result, it is often not practical (nor cheap) to travel by train in North America. It is comfortable and convenient in Europe but not here. Oh well. It’s not like oil is expensive, is it?

Cheap magazines

One of my greatest pleasures in France was to run a really hot bath and to soak myself in bubbles in my tub, with a magazine. In Canada, I borrow them from the library and I stopped reading in my bath.

French have one of the largest choices in the world for magazines and are big readers. We can find magazines almost anywhere: train stations, local “bureaux de tabac” (smoke shops), booths in the subway… Most magazines are actually sold by copy and not by subscription.

There are magazines on every topic but most feature politics or the latest trend. I find French magazines generally more open to the world than North American magazines. A silly example: women’s magazines. While in Canada, they would invariably feature articles about the twenty best sex positions (most of them only doable if you can do couple yoga at a very very high level—not that I tried…), a way to lose a lot of weight fast and how to become a successful and rich person, French magazines are lighthearted and do not take themselves as seriously.

Magazines are cheaper in France too. In Canada, they are usually around $5 (plus taxes), but in France, most magazines were around $3. It adds up…

Blue cheese

That’s what I called cheese. Smelly, half-rotten (Americans kindly call it “blue cheese,” but between us, the blue part is mold). Butter some bread, add the cheese and enjoy the sharp and salty taste. How hard is that?

It’s not that I can’t find blue cheese. I can. Thanks God for Lebanese immigrants who usually sell imported cheese. But the price! I’m not paying $6 for a tiny piece of cheese, tightly wrapped in cellophane. I feel like I’m buying drugs. I am not an addicted. Repeat after me. I am not an addict!

Now, I’m not eating processed cheese either. You know how French translate “processed cheese”? “Fromage industriel.” Enough said.

Liquid Soap

I stopped using soap bars somewhere in the nineties. Well, my mom stopped buying them anyway, and we switched to liquid soap, which I find doesn’t leave my skin as dry. Oh, and every time I look at soap bars, it reminds me of the Fight Club movie where Brad designer soap out of human fat stolen from liposuction clinics.

But for some reason, liquid soap is hard to find here in Canada, and it’s expensive. There isn’t that much choice either. Most liquid soaps are either too thick or too watery, and the scent is… meh. I miss my French liquid soap almost as much as I miss French deo (on a whole different subject).

I’m curious: what do you miss from home? What can’t you recreate in your new home?

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