Archive for Becoming Canadian

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The Wall

The Wall

Immigrant, tourist, visitor, citizen, foreign worker — administrative vocabulary, sticky notes on my face. But who am I?

Some days, I feel like I have been there forever. I left France when I was 18 and barely looked back. Going back was never really an option: call it innocence, naivety or pride, I wanted to see the world and adopt a new country. I have been there forever. My first resumes, the interviews for jobs I was going to hate, being comfortable driving a car, learning to cook, to take care of myself, to make friends - friends who wouldn’t necessary look like me — to manage money, credit cards, taxes and overdrafts… Canada. Not France. It’s been forever in a way.

Jigsaw Falling Into Place

At first, just thinking that I was alone in this big continent would make my head spin. Freedom was almost intoxicating. I could be whatever I wanted, do whatever I wanted. It came with its counterparts though, fear and angst. It’s not like I had a safety net. Adapting to a new culture can be tough too.

Takes A Second To Say Goodbye

Bono is wrong. It so doesn’t take a second to say goodbye. It takes ages, it’s painful, it’s a difficult exercise that makes me feel like a coward every single time. Am I still running away? It seems like I left a little piece of my heart in every single place I have ever been to. It seems like I made an art of abandoning people. None of that is probably true but just thinking of it just makes me sob harder.

Scar Tissue

Scar Tissue

No matter how hard I tried, I was never able to see out of my left eye. Nothing but a useless blurry picture, with a few black spots on the way. The world looks distorted in a pretty fun way but it took me years to appreciate my difference. Kids all want to look the same.

To Be Or Not To Be

After a few months in Canada, I was bored to death. Feng had found a job but I couldn’t work with my visitor visa. As far as Canada was concerned, I didn’t exist : my immigration status – or lack of thereof – prevent me from doing anything. I couldn’t get a library card under [...]

The Interview

Seb, a fellow blogger, just sent me these question to answer… just keep in mind I just spent the night designing learning plans for my students and that it’s fairly late ! I’ll do my best anyway.
1. You’ve lived in Canada for a while now (from what I understand), have you gotten a chance to [...]

Cold Crash Course

Fucking cold.

This winter is one of the warmest so far, with barely enough snow to cover the ground. But it got cold today, with a low of – 15C, felt like – 20C.

I remember when I first came here, I had no idea what “cold” actually meant. The city I’m originally from in France is [...]