People feel the need to eat in places they shouldn’t even think of: at concerts, sports games, outdoor activities, movie theaters; on the bus, the train, in their cars. I clearly remember a time where I would go to the movie and would at most had a bottle of water in my bag.

I’m a small-time player. Or so said the last telemarketer who called to offer me a $10,000 Amex credit card. I gasped when I heard the figure. “But I don’t make that much money”, I naively admitted. “That’s why you should be interested in a higher limit credit card, ma’am. This is Canada”, he added, in his heavily Cantonese-accented English.

Ever heard of the Tragically Hip? Chances are if you did, you hold a Canadian passport. If no, don’t worry — you’re just a foreigner. The band from Kingston Ontario has been around for around twenty years but it just doesn’t work outside Canada. Could that be because their songs mostly revolve around hockey, small Canadian towns and Canadian history?

For most immigrants, Canada’s two seasons can be illustrated by the following words — “fucking hot” and “fucking cold”. And Canadians loudly complain too. Too much snow to shovel in the morning, freeway buried under blizzard and ice storms in winter, drought and floods in the summer.

Unless you’re from Russia or China, you will probably feel that Canada is a pretty big place. And if you’re from Russia, please let’s not argue about the Northwest Passage — it’s not like we can navigate it yet, okay?