Every Monday and Thursday, you can find me trying to stretch my downward facing dog and desperately attempting to breath during sun salutations. So far, I master the corpse pose, which is basically lying flat on your back on a mat.

A collection of “Chinglish” signs spotted in Beijing… wait — don’t you speak Chinglish?

There isn’t a good way present your products, no matter how many metaphors you use: “ED” (erectile dysfunction), “Love Life Again” (get it hard, finally), “miracle diet pill” (take a placebo pill and eat less) or “it’s time for an honest voice” (get out and exercise, lazy ass!). Not to mention the freaky side effects, usually muttered very fast at the end of the commercial.

Ever heard of the Tragically Hip? Chances are if you did, you hold a Canadian passport. If no, don’t worry — you’re just a foreigner. The band from Kingston Ontario has been around for around twenty years but it just doesn’t work outside Canada. Could that be because their songs mostly revolve around hockey, small Canadian towns and Canadian history?

For most immigrants, Canada’s two seasons can be illustrated by the following words — “fucking hot” and “fucking cold”. And Canadians loudly complain too. Too much snow to shovel in the morning, freeway buried under blizzard and ice storms in winter, drought and floods in the summer.