Mark – Code Name: The Destroyer

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Gone is the tiny little thing who would spend hours nested against my chest, in the sling. Well, he wouldn’t mind being held and cuddle constantly—although “cuddling” with Mark often means having your hair pulled and your face scratched—but the “little thing” morphed into an overactive baby who just won’t stop moving.

And destroying shit.

Mark learned a bunch of new skills in France (thanks, mom and dad, really, merci!), including standing up and crawling.

And boy, does he crawl. He is fast, faster than I’d be moving on all fours like that. Put him down for a second on the floor, on the grass, on the sand and you will see him quickly analyzing his surroundings, like some kind of Terminator.

Once the “scan” is complete, he usually makes a beeline for what I hope he wouldn’t notice—the wires, the plugs, anything fragile or breakable, anything dangerous.

Nothing can stop him. And if you try, be prepared for the loudest plea you will ever hear, complete with crocodile tears.

I’m sick of hearing myself repeating “Mark, no. NO!” all day long. Usually, when I say “no”, he pauses, looks at me and waits. And as soon as I turn around, he starts whatever he was trying to do again.

In France, he discovered electrical outlets and had a lot of fun unplugging appliances. He also fell in love with an old boombox—he’d bang on it until we would turn the radio on. He loves wires and my laptop. He likes chewing on keys, socks… anything, really (but he doesn’t like to eat veggies, go figure! I mean, between carrots and a sock, I take carrot anytime). He loves tearing paper into little pieces, including receipts, bills, statements… good thing our new twenty dollar bills are made of plastic because he tries to rip one in half the other day. On the bright side, I no longer need to buy a paper shredder.

He broke a salad bowl at my parents’ place, as well as my necklace. And that’s just for the past two weeks.

Oh, just in case you were wondering—we do supervise him. See, whenever I’m not in sight, he screams. But he is faster than us—and apparently less tired too.

Where is the pause button on that kid?

Trouble is Coming

Trouble is Coming

Playing Nicely...

Playing Nicely…

Eyeing Mommy

Eyeing Mommy

And Destroying Shit

And Destroying Shit

Got It!

Got It!

Inspecting

Inspecting

Testing

Testing

Protesting

Protesting

I Ain't Done Nothing!

I Ain’t Done Nothing!

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About Author

French woman in English Canada. World citizen, new mom, traveler, translator, writer and photographer. Looking for comrades to start a new revolution.

22 Comments

  1. I don’t know how to say that in English, but “toutes mes compatisantes” (I know, it’s not even French :)).
    On the bright side, at some point, he will stop destroying things. I am 30-something and I didn’t destroy a single thing since last week 🙂 No really, for what I saw with the babies around me, it will get better.
    (And your-absolutely-not-buddha-like-baby is really one of the cutest baby ever, really)
    (and I laughed loudly at “I mean, between car­rots and a sock, I take car­rot any­time”, so please don’t STFUZhu)

  2. Ah I feel for you. I remember that phase. Luckily it did not last too long with Heston. When he started walking, power outlets were no longer at eye level so he went on to others things (still forbidden but less dangerous!). But then walking they get even faster.. I guess things change for better and for worse 😉 but they get away with their cuteness 🙂

      • Well Heston is in terrible two phase and therefore testing phase. So you say no, he smiles at you and still does it! But I must admit, he is not that bad for 26 months. He is testing us a lot at the moment as we are both exhausted having a 14 day-old baby sister that justjoined us! So a lot of adjusting to do for all of us 🙂

        A really good thing is he talks more now and understands really well so you can actually have a conversation with him and negotiate. That does help a lot to avoid tantrums!

        • Oh wow, I didn’t realize you also just had a second kid! Congratulations 🙂 I can only imagine how tired you must be! Yes, happy too, I know… but tired 😆

          • Thanks! Tired and happy are indeed what we are currently feeling!
            I more or less learnt I was pregnant when Mark was born so I have enjoyed even more reading your blog remembering what it was going to be like with a baby. They grow up so quickly. I am so used been able to ask Heston what he wants that it feels strange now having a baby crying and not being able to interact.. But it is really fun seeing Heston with his sister.

          • The first few weeks (ahem, months…) are already a blur to me, and Mark is only 10-month old! At least they do sleep quite a bit after. And I forgot how tiny newborns are! One of my friends just had a baby and he looks so small compared to Mark, who I still consider a “baby”!

            How did Heston react as a big brother? And what’s the little girl’s name?

  3. Yes newborns are tiny and sll of a sudden my 16kg-Heston seems like a giant!

    Her name is Kathleen and Heston is adjusting well with her arrival. We tried to prepare him as much as we could but he is still young to really grasp the concept. For the moment he is not showing any jealousy and is very caring towards her (he tells us when she is crying, tries to give her his food when we tell him she is hungry, kisses her and is overall happy to see her). However he is waking up at night again asking for hugs but it’s a normal reaction. I was dreading how Heston would be around Kathleen but the first two weeks have proven me wrong. Lets hope it stays that way for a bit 🙂 I am just wondering if he has yet realized she will be staying permanently..

    • A lovely name too!

      I was already 6 yrs old when my sister was born (and 9 yrs old for my brother) but I don’t remember any sibling rivalry… at least not that young! 😆 He seems to be adjusting fine 🙂

  4. hahaha… An interesting read of your experience. I guess that is part of the process of growing up. Exploring stuff! From your photos it seems like he has started to chew too. hahahaha…

    Take it easy and try to enjoy the process. 😀

    Alexander

  5. Wow, he looks so different to when I first started reading your blog! His hair looks like it is getting lighter after the summer of sun? He is such an angel, I can’t believe any of these lies you’re making up about him!

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