The Interviews From Hell
How many interviews have I been to ? I’d say about thirty in Canada so far, ¾ of them in my first year in Ottawa. I was desperate for a job but the odds seemed to be against me. At 20 years old, my resume was pretty short. I had no previous work experience in Canada. I had no references but abroad. My English wasn’t that great and I wasn’t a Permanent Resident yet.
Everyday, I would go through the same routine : jobbank.ca, Ottawa Citizen’s employment section, sending resumes and cover letters almost non-stop till noon. Then I would wait for the phone to ring.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I knew I could learn fast, but I didn’t have the guts to apply for jobs that required “previous experience” and just lie. I was too qualified for McJobs but yet not experienced enough for office jobs. I was stuck in between, as usual.
But it didn’t stop employers to call me for interviews. Of course, I met some decent people who would just tell me I didn’t fit the job, or would give my tips for future interviews. Some of them would even hire me. But I also had… interviews from hell.
The I’m not telling you interview
– Hi, Zhu ? Would you be available to work tomorrow night ?
– Sure. What’s the location ?
– It’s at 2356 Carling avenue. You’ll have to fill up for the stock taker, from 11 pm to 5 am.
– Alright… And what’s the hourly rate ?
– Oh, I’m sorry, I really can’t disclose that. Otherwise, no one would take the job.
The slave market interview
– Hello Mrs Zhu. I’m calling from the staffing agency. I have your resume in front of me, and I would have a few more questions.
Absolutely.
– So, I’m currently looking for people to work in customer service for the federal government. First question is, are you available to work from 5 am to 11 pm ?
– Well, I guess so, but how does it work ? Are there shifts or… ?
– Just tell me whether you’re available or not.
– Sure, sure, I’m… available.
– Means of transport ?
– It depends actually. I share a car and rely on the bus the rest of the time. I mean, it all depends on where the office is.
– Can’t tell you that.
– I certainly have no problem getting around, but at 5 am, let’s say, I’d probably drive.
– And at night ? What would you do ? Let’s say, if you have to work overtime ?
– You mean… after 11 pm ? Depends on the bus schedule. I can drive too. But could you tell me more about the position ? It’d be easier to figure things out.
– Well, we don’t have a job “per se”. I was just testing you. Thank you.
The two years too late interview
– Hi, may I speak to… Zhu, please ?
Speaking.
– Yes, hi, I was wondering if you were still available.
– To…?
– Yes, I have your resume right there and we need someone part-time starting of today. Tonight actually. Well, if you could make it by 5 pm, it’d be appreciated.
– I’m sorry, who am I talking too ?
– This is Quiznos Sub, located on Queen.
– Oh, I’m sorry, unfortunately I found a position about two years ago… I didn’t know you kept resume for that long.
– That’s too bad. You’re really not available ?
Duh. I stayed by the phone for two years, waiting for your call.
If you’re nice, next time I’ll tell you about the time I sold flowers in front of Ottawa’s LCBO. If you can keep it secret, I’d appreciated.
wow, quizno’s must have a really high opinion of their own positions to think you’d still be waiting for a call from them! I like the “we don’t have a job per se, but we were just testing you” line too. NICE. lol
I hate interviews. I may have a long resume, but it seems that hr reps usually look down on me for my age.
Hmmm interesting isn’t it?
I am going to work in this field of recruitment and selection once I finish my degree and my job would probably involve things like this.
This is an enlightening post because it will show me how not to treat people on interviews… It is not easy for them and it’s best to be honest and polite where possible isn’t it.
BTW sit jorge: I doubt the places who look down on you was very good places. As long as you have proven work experience in terms of actual proven success in your field of work, I think most people would actually consider them over your age. These days, it’s all about doing things differently from your competitors and to do that, you need qualified people and qualified people are rare. So I don’t feel your age would play a such major impact as long as it’s not too unsuitable for the seniority of the position you’re applying.
I think you are dead on covering the interviewing gig!
Yeah I can totally relate. One thing I find particularly funny is the different approach between academic institutions job vacancies and company related jobs(I am talking about the stuff before the interviews)
I remember for the former writing an application so thick, heck I could have earnt some money just publishing it. The CV was also more superfluous full of details and such.
For a company, the application was more reader friendly and a lot slimmer just stating basic facts. As for the CV it was simplicity for simplicity’s sake, you know a lot of bold highlighted words, very scarcely written and nicely underlined phrases. Not too much text just basic facts.
For ANY job, my job hunt strategy was as simple as “Do you have a position available?”. Yes? Cool when do I start (Usually I didnt start at all but regardless I wouldnt give more details since I was overqualified for some of those jobs , still money was money you know,lol).
Nice blog entry Zhu, you wont believe how much it’s related even to my present situation.
Talk to you later!
When I say ANY job in my previous comment I mean any lower end job. I just state that for clarity’s sake,lol!