We should be in São Paulo by now, getting ready to fly back to Canada. I should be doing the usual—crying, mourning South America, throwing away my almost-empty shampoo bottle and using up my last samples.
But we’re not in São Paulo. Like, not even close. It’s what… 1,000 kilometres away?
And I’d better not get rid of my toiletries yet.
Change of plans.
When we arrived in Florianópolis, still in full post-Carnival withdrawal, I just didn’t feel like going back to Canada. Mind you, I rarely feel like going back to… well, to pretty much anywhere I live or lived. This is the “correr es mi destino” part of of the blog title—I’m running, and I’m still running. Running. Not running away—at least, I don’t think so but I’ve never seen a shrink, after all.
I have issues with Ottawa. I’ve had issues with Ottawa for a few years now, to be honest. There are aspects of life in Canada and in Ottawa I appreciate, but there are also many I can’t stand anymore. The weather, for instance. It sounds trivial but in Canada, winter is a huge part of the culture and no matter how much I tried, I hate it. I hate being cold. I don’t like to suffer from November to April or May, missing out on spring. And I’m not getting into it now, but even though I adapted to the North American way of life, I didn’t embrace all of it.
Life is complicated. By now, Canada is part of my identity, much like France is. Yet, if it was just me, I’d probably have moved a few years ago. But I’m not alone. Feng isn’t going anywhere, and then there’s Mark.
There are dreams and then there’s reality. “Without Ottawa, we’d be pretty much homeless,” Feng argues. He’s right. Plus, I do love my professional life in Ottawa, the freelance opportunities I get. It’s not all bad but it’s not all good either.
I can’t find an easy fix for the big picture.
We’re not going to pick up some backpacker skills, like hair braiding or fire juggling, and live out of our backpacks for the next ten years.
However, we could change our plan tickets. it turned out that Feng didn’t feel like ending the trip in São Paulo either.
Compromised were made, a new itinerary was found a few days ago.
Oh, we’re flying back to Canada soon-ish. Just not on the original date and from São Paulo.
But we’re still on the road for now and there are still places to explore. I feel like I’ve just been given oxygen.