Yep, another year—or your yearly age-related philosophical moment, if you wish.
I have yet to freak out about my age and aging, although I’m vain enough to pluck a white hair here and there. Age stopped being a relevant number to me after 1999—before I turned 16, I had to use fake IDs to watch movies with my older friends, and they were a bummer to design (hint: use nail polish remover to erase the last digit of the birth year and… oh, never mind!).
What’s relevant to me—and this is how I keep track of the years going by—is the sum of all the experiences, feelings and emotions that make up life and make us humans.
Pink Floy’s Time embodies my deepest fear, especially when David Gilmour sings:
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
Life isn’t a race but I certainly don’t want to miss the starting gun. There is so much to discover…
If I look back at the last ten years, life has been busy, interesting and a great learning experience. I’m happy with what I accomplished and even with what I failed to accomplish—or failed at period—because again, everything is an experience.
Living is feeling something, no matter what. Happiness, sadness, anger, joy, relief, anticipation, surprise, love, closeness, pride, wonder, and yes, pain sometime but it goes away because there is so much to see, so much to do, so much to… live!
I find it fascinating the way everything changes constantly—situations, perspectives… and the way we change too, as individuals. For instance, I only started drinking coffee a few years ago, and while I used to hate carrots, I now crave them. I actually enjoy my own company and I love feeling soreness after a good hike, whereas I spent years in school skipping PE classes. I discovered the bliss of Brazilian wax and there is one Nickelback song I can listen to without feeling like throwing the car stereo out of the window. Mark, of course, opened a door into a whole new world I didn’t even know existed—I’m not just talking about the basic boring rewards of motherhood, but did you know these baby fruit pureed pouches are delicious snacks, and skin lotion for kids works better than expensive scented creams?
Just a few years ago, I had no idea I would be able to make a living freelancing, yet I do. And again, just a few years ago, I had no idea I would be the person I am today, with my strengths and weaknesses.
I’m not setting goals. I like surprises.
And if they don’t come, I’ll make them happen.
Life is a pretty fuckin’ cool concept, if you ask me.