Merde. Mistake.
Merde. Mistake.

There are the small inconsequential blunders we all make daily—cooking way too much spaghetti, misreading the bus schedule or forgetting to return a phone call. On the other end of the spectrum, there are bigger life mistakes that are harder to fix and forget—ending up in a bad relationship, taking the wrong career path or getting into financial trouble.

Moving to a new country is one of these big decisions where your life can get awesomely better, awfully worst or more realistically, waver between these two extreme case scenarios. Either way, the potential for mistakes is high. You are dealing with a new culture, a new language, and a new environment. Your survival instinct will kick in… but knees will get scraped.

With luck (95%) and instinct (5%…), I survived my first steps into adulthood in the True North strong and free, minus a few faux pas here and there. In hindsight, though, I did make a few mistakes, including…

Taking things too literally

Once I mastered small talk, I still had to learn to use social and cultural clues to read between the lines. It now seems perfectly normal to me that when asked “how are you?”, the only possible answer is “not too bad, yourself?”—even if you are bleeding profusely and even if you are chased by zombies. When a customer service representative asks “how can I help you today?”, they do so because they follow a script, don’t expect them to actually know where your favourite laundry powder is. When the cashier asks “did you find everything you were looking for today?”, it’s because their manager is watching the transaction—this is not the time to complain about the store being out of rye bread again.

Likewise, Canadians often look very friendly and outgoing but it doesn’t mean this is the start of a long-term friendship. “We should have dinner, sometimes!” may very well never happen—this is just something people say without meaning it. Don’t wait by the phone (or rather, check your smartphone compulsively) if the interview went well and you were promised a follow-up call—a promise doesn’t mean much here. Even worse, you may find that the saying “out of sight, out of mind” is very true in Canada. I’ve seen people being laid off and being promptly forgotten by the people they work for years with. That’s the way it is, North Americans live in the present and they are over-enthusiastic by default.

Falling prey to marketing promises

Marketing is a very powerful industry and as a newcomer, you’re the perfect prey. Indeed, it’s a hard to be a discerning shopper when you don’t know the brands, the stores and all the tricks used to sell you more at the highest price possible.

I had to get used to the fact prices here can change almost daily, especially in grocery stores. They are also not consistent at all from one place to another—in France, bread from bakery A and B are usually in the same ballpark, but in Canada, a sandwich can be $2 and $25 next door. I also learned to decipher fine print and “special offers”, avoid scams and shop smartly. Phew.

Getting into arguments regarding sensitive local issues

Every country has skeletons in the closet and various sensitive issues best discussed with a familiar audience. For instance, in France, you’d probably want to avoid mentioning the country’s colonial past in Africa or ask a friend what his grandparents did during WWII. In Canada, sensitive topics can include Quebec (sovereigntists vs. federalists), the Loi 101, Canadian identity and Aboriginal rights. Canadians also tend to use politically correct language, at least in public—note to French, don’t call First Nation people “les indiens d’Amérique”!

When I taught French as a second language, most of my coworkers from Quebec. One day, the topic of sovereignty came up and I said that I didn’t support Quebec’s political independence project. Shitstorm ensued… I was accused of not knowing the full picture, being an outsider with no say in the matter and being one of these “imperialistic” French—all of these were somewhat true, minus the latter.

Lesson learned: I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t have an opinion and a voice, but absorb the culture before taking a public stand on sensitive topics. Learn to know your audience. Don’t forget that there are always two sides to the story and that whatever you’ve been told in media back home may not depict the entire truth.

Not using community resources

There are hundreds of resources available to new Canadians, at the provincial, federal and municipal levels. Language training, settlement help, community meeting groups, etc. I’m sure they are great… but I’m only guessing because I’ve never leveraged the power of these resources. My excuse? I started working almost right away and I’m somewhat of an introvert so I was too shy to make the first step. For Canadian culture tips, I relied on Feng, then on my coworkers. I thought I could totally figure everything out by myself—this is one of my main weaknesses, not asking for help.

In hindsight, I wish I had taken English-as-a-second-language classes. One of my French friends did and he met new Canadians from all over the world—they are still in touch ten years later. I felt very lonely and isolated for a few years and I probably would have met more people going to meetups or attending classes.

Eating out too often and eating too much

Food is probably the easiest thing to buy in Canada. No matter the time or place, you will find something to eat. Hell, half of the aisles at Shoppers, one of the biggest pharmacy chains, are dedicated to junk food.

I came to Canada in my early twenties and I wasn’t a great cook. Like most minimum-wage employees, Feng and I had hectic work schedules—you know these 24/7 call centres, supermarkets, etc.? Well, there are actually people at your service, working ungodly hours. Driving to Burger King was easier than filling the fridge, buying a muffin was faster than buttering two slices of bread and ordering pizza was more fun than watching water boil. The result? We wasted money and gained weight. We smarten up and now ignore 99% of the promotional flyers in the mailbox—yes, I know, buy one pizza get one free with a dipping sauce, but no thanks.

How about you? Made any mistake when travelling or after moving abroad?


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  1. Frenchie au Canada September 22, 2016 at 10:35 am

    I think I made some similar mistakes, apart from the food thing since I’m not big on that kind of food regardless (but my other half is lol)
    I do wonder though, what do you call First Nation people in French? I never know which wording to use since I don’t follow the Quebec media….

    1. Zhu September 22, 2016 at 10:14 pm

      I don’t think French make the distinction… the old non-politically correct name is France was probably “les indiens” and “les esquimaux” (for Inuits).

      Never been tempted to try all the junk food in Canada?

      1. Frenchie au Canada September 23, 2016 at 1:04 pm

        It would just feel weird to say “les indiens” still and l”les autochtones” feels stifling…

        And I still haven’t had poutine! But I do love sweet potato fries 😉

        1. Zhu September 23, 2016 at 7:31 pm

          Never had poutine either. I just don’t find the texture appealing :-/

        2. Martin Penwald September 23, 2016 at 7:39 pm

          I don’t like « autochtones » either, but it seems that « Premières Nations » is used in French.

          1. Zhu September 23, 2016 at 11:32 pm

            Mais je ne pense pas qu’un Français (de France) utiliserait ce terme, à moins d’y avoir été initié, non?

          2. Frenchie au Canada September 26, 2016 at 12:11 pm

            Non je ne pense pas qu’un francais de France dirait ca… Je demandais plus pour moi. Je me vois mal dire “Indiens d’Amerique” sur mon blog maintenant que je connais mieux leur culture et la signification de ces mots

          3. Zhu September 26, 2016 at 6:59 pm

            T’inquète, j’ai erré dans la terminologie aussi. Mais j’ai eu la chance de travailler avec des organismes et ministères qui m’ont aiguillée 😉

  2. Holly September 22, 2016 at 10:59 am

    What you say about Canadians being enthusiastic and living in the present is very true – I have also seen that happen a lot.

    1. Zhu September 22, 2016 at 10:14 pm

      Ah, so it’s not just me!

  3. Martin Penwald September 23, 2016 at 7:37 pm

    « Vive le Québec Libre ! » © mongénéral

    Huge diplomatic incident ensued. THAT is a mistake. I’ve heard that after he said that, the members of his governement were baffled (in the sense « Oh putain ça y est, papy il sucre les fraises ! »).
    I got a Québécois upset when I explained to him that a U.S custom officer (in Blaine, WA) asked me one time if I didn’t bled from the ears when listening a Québécois. It is funny from a French point of view, but yeah …
    I understand the case for Québec sovereignity, but I think the Parti Québécois isn’t clear about the path it wishes to take.

    Whatever, il n’y a que ceux qui ne font rien qui ne font pas d’erreur.

    1. Zhu September 23, 2016 at 10:49 pm

      Imagine, ça aurait Sarko en visite au Québec… il refaisait la bourde, mais en prime il libérait le Québec dans la foulée, comme il a libéré Ingrid Bettencourt.

      (Le sarcasme suinte de cette phrase)

      1. Martin Penwald September 24, 2016 at 10:16 pm

        Surtout que Sarko a explicitement dit qu’il était fédéraliste, puisque son copain Desmarais (le milliardfaire québécois) l’est. Desmarais aurait été souverainiste, Sarkozy aurait lancé une offensive militaire contre Ottawa.

        1. Zhu September 25, 2016 at 12:29 am

          Il aurait conduit le tank lui même sur la Colline du Parlement. Enfin, s’il avait pu atteindre les pédales, quoi.

          1. Martin Penwald September 25, 2016 at 3:43 pm

            Ben, justement, il me semble qu’en France, il fût un temps, seuls les bidasses de moins de 1,80m pouvaient aller dans les tanks, donc ça n’aurait pas été un problème.

            Et habituellement, je ne trouve pas sympa de se moquer du physique (ici, en l’occurrence sa taille), mais je fais une exception pour le Sarko-nabot, vu le comportement ridicule qu’il a toujours eu à ce sujet. Qu’il porte des talonnettes, peu importe, mais se mettre sur la pointe des pieds pour une photo de ministres, à côté d’Obama, ou imposer de ne rencontrer que des personnes plus petites que lui lors de ses opérations de com’, c’est ridicule et indigne d’un chef d’état.

            « Sarko ! Nabot ! Le peuple aura ta peau ! »

            (Je ne sais plus si j’ai déjà mentionné à quel point je le trouve détestable 🙂 )

          2. Zhu September 25, 2016 at 10:57 pm

            Idem, je n’attaque jamais sur le physique (en plus, j’ai vraiment rien contre les hommes plus petits!). Mais Sarko, quoi… j’ai ce tic de langage, à chaque fois que je l’entends s’exprimer, je ne peux pas m’empêcher de dire “pauvre con!”. Il est tellement dédaigneux!

  4. Lexie September 28, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    Je me suis souvent demandée pourquoi aucun enfant n’était déguisé en indien pour l’Halloween, ça se faisait bien en France pis c’était cute avec les tresses et tout’. Et puis récemment une école a voulu faire une petite célébration, elle a collé quelques plumes dans les cheveux des gamins, ça a failli causer un incident diplomatique (j’exagère à peine) car la coiffe à certaines significations, ne peut être portée que par certaines personnes, etc… Je me suis dit que j’avais bien fait de ne jamais poser ma question à haute voix!

    1. Zhu September 28, 2016 at 6:59 pm

      Mais, comment j’aurais pu faire la gaffe sans penser à mal!

      Ma première fête de l’école, en maternelle (je m’en souviens un peu, mais on a surtout des photos), le thème était “les îles”. Donc tu avais une cinquantaine de gamins, tous blancs (ben oui, Nantes dans les années 1980…), habillés en folklore créole, enfin, l’idée que des Blancs de métropole se font des îles. Argh. J’étais très fière de porter des immenses anneaux aux oreilles, des vrais, parce que j’étais la seule à avoir les oreilles percées 😆

  5. Gagan October 6, 2016 at 1:02 pm

    I got very eager and bought membership to ByTown Cinema; I had never been back since my first visit 🙂 I have got few months left but I guess I wasted those 24$

    1. Zhu October 6, 2016 at 2:35 pm

      Most people make this mistake with gym memberships 😉


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