Canada Day used to be my favourite event of the year because Ottawa was the best place to be to celebrate the nation’s anniversary. Every July 1, the most boring capital in the world would invariably turn into a chaotic and festive red-and-white mess, everyone welcome.
Then at one point, it went downhill. I think it started with the Canada 150 disaster, then the weather ruined a few Canada Day events, then COVID happened… and suddenly we woke up with a completely different version of the classic Canada Day in Ottawa.
The festivities are no longer on Parliament Hill, they’ve been moved to Lebreton Flats, 1.5 kilometres away. It’s not as fun—symbolically, I liked the fact you could party metres from where political decisions are made. Canada Day turned into a micromanaged event with gates, entry points, closed streets and security everywhere. We used to all gather on the Hill and have fun, for fuck’s sake!
Also, the air we’re breathing is turning us into mutants and the weather has been trying to kill us lately.
Canada Day failed me this year again. We weren’t even able to access Lebreton Flats.
Never mind. I failed at Canada a few times too when I was a young and naïve newcomer…
Bears are not actually cute and cuddly
It’s not just me, most Europeans love bears—well, the clumsy, cuddly and friendly Winnie-the-Pooh kind of bears anyone would love to spot in the backyard.
But Canadians are not huge fans of bears because bears aren’t cuddly, clumsy or friendly.
Bears are predators, not potential Canadian pets.
As the saying goes, “If it’s brown, lay down, if it’s black, fight back, if it’s white, say goodnight.”
Also, apparently, bears don’t even kill you before eating you. They just… you know, start eating. You will never look at Winnie-the-Pooh the same again. I’m sorry.
French doesn’t sound always sound… French
It took me longer than I like to admit to figure out that “orleeeeens” was “Orleans,” i.e. “Orrr-lay-an” in French. Also, “li-own” is “Lyon,” “lee-huh” in French.
People kept looking at me funny because surely, as a French, I knew these common street names, right?
Fortunately, “Rideau” is “Rideau.” This one is easily understandable in both English and French.
“PEI” isn’t a Chinese guy
I kept on hearing about “PEI” and I thought it was a famous Chinese guy for a very long time.
Turned out that “PEI” is “Prince Edward Island,” one of Canada’s maritime provinces.
Oops.
“Beer” in fast food restaurants
Much to my surprise when I came to Canada, a few fast-food restaurants like A&W did seem to sell beer. Weird, considering Ontario’s strict alcohol laws.
Turned out that “root beer” isn’t beer but a soft drink. It’s also caffeine free… and it’s an acquired taste.
The whole tipping madness
Tipping in restaurants isn’t as socially mandatory in Europe as it is in North America but it’s not completely unheard of either, except Europeans tend to just round up the bill instead of leaving a very much expected 15-25% tip.
I didn’t tip when I got my first haircut in Canada.
The stylist gave me hell for it.
I had no idea you were supposed to tip hair stylists, massage therapists, taxi drivers, housekeeping staff in hotels and a long list of professions. I still don’t fully understand the logic behind it. I mean, most people could use more money but these professionals also make at least minimum wage. Why don’t we tip cashiers, janitors or nurses then? And where do we draw a line?
Toponym trouble
My first job in Canada was as a call centre agent in the winter of 2004. I was working with Petro-Canada’s Petro-Points reward program, taking calls about lost cards, missing points, balance transfers and more.
I had to enter or verify basic information like names and addresses all the time, and I was always dreading this moment because it was painfully obvious that I didn’t know much about Canadian culture… or geography.
“Saska… can you spell it for me?”
(Spelling Saskatchewan is like Canada 101.)
“Edmonton, got it. Province?”
(Everybody knows that Edmonton is in Alberta.)
I also asked a co-worker if she enjoyed living in Canada—how was I supposed to know there was another London in Ontario?
Fortunately, Canada started making a lot more sense to me after a few years.
Just kidding. Only kind of.
Love this list ! It’s so hard to figure some things out at first ! Vu qu’on est dans la partie francophone, ce sont les expressions qui restent les plus difficiles à comprendre parfois encore pour moi, et bien sûr l’accent à mes débuts. On a eu de la chance, il faisait beau pour la fête du Québec le 24, mais quel temps moche nous avons ces jours ci ! Pars tu bientôt ?
The funny thing is, there are tons of different flavours of French in Canada. I’m so used to franco-ontarien French I don’t even notice the accent (compared to mine). But it still takes me a minute or two to decipher québécois because I don’t hear it as much in Ottawa (by “québécois” I mean “le vrai québécois”, north of Montreal 😉
And even within Québec, there are différent accents. Montréal is ot the same than Lac St-Jean nor the Gaspésie.
Oh yeah. Montreal’s accent is familiar to me. lac-St-Jean much less 😆
I just learned that Root beer has no caffeine, thank you! Still don’t like it though… after two sips, forget it.
Same here! I don’t mind the taste but I’ve never craved Root Beer.
> Turned out that “root beer” isn’t beer but a soft drink. It’s also caffeine free… and it’s an acquired taste.
Let’s say it. It’s disgusting.
> I mean, most people could use more money but these professionals also make at least minimum wage
No, that’s the problem. There is a minimum wage and a tipped worker minimum wage. Exemple, in Québec, minimum wage is 15,25$/h, but the tipped minimum wage is 12,20$/h. The trick is that if a tipped worker doesn’t meet the 15,25$/h with their tips, their employer has to complete the salary. So, basically, it means that the customer pays the worker. That’s an absurd system.
It’s the same thing in the US. The federal minimum wage is 7,25$/h, but the tipped minimum wage is still only 2,34$/h.
https://www.cnesst.gouv.qc.ca/fr/conditions-travail/salaire-paye/salaire/salaire-au-pourboire#:~:text=Le%20taux%20minimum%20du%20salaire,au%20taux%20minimum%20en%20vigueur.
We’ll note that in Québec, hairdressers don’t seem to be considered as tipped workers.
Huh, interesting. I have no idea if Quebecers tip, then…
They do.
Yeah, so this makes no sense. I mean, good for the stylists but again, where do we draw the line?
I’ve seen worse soda. I can’t stand slushies, for instance.
I still think there’s a difference between US minimum wage for tipped workers (as low as $3 like you said) and tipped minimum wage in Canada. For instance, in Ontario, $14.60 vs. $15.50 for non tipped employees. Does the difference “justify” a 20% tip? Yeah… no. Again, I’m not saying these are great wages but I don’t understand why some professions are tipped while others aren’t.
I remember a friend of mine was working as a waitress in a bar and use to make five times the amount I was while Id work my ass off 5 days a week in an office and she only the week-end. Tips can be huge if you’re cute!
I’ve never worked a tipped job. Customer service jobs, yes, but like call centre agent or receptionist so I don’t think I ever got a tip in my life. Feng is more generous than him, or at least tipping comes more naturally to him, because he worked in restaurants. I do tip though but yeah, I find it weird.
Hahah I am with you with the “French does not sound like French”. I am still having a hard time remembering Quebecois slang lol