Back to Santos, Where the World Started Falling Apart

The world started falling apart during my one-and-only stay in Santos two years ago. I can assure you both events are, however, completely unrelated—I can’t prepare a freaking box cake following step-by-step packaging instruction, so I definitely didn’t engineer a virus and started a pandemic.

Anyway, in February 2020, I had found Santos quite grim, which may have been an unfair assessment because I was feeling gloomy at the time. I was waiting for a week of Carnival party in São  Paulo, I should have been excited, but instead I had this weird sense of impending doom. Oh, I know, easy to say in hindsight, it’s not like I actually knew how bad things were going to get. After all, it was still a couple of weeks before my sister, an early adopter, caught a mysterious virus in Paris and was so sick we all worried about her. It was also a few before the COVID-19 pandemic reached South America with Brazil confirming a first case of in São Paulo. It was a month before lockdowns worldwide, two months before my grandfather passed away.

Still, I remember being worried at the time, more than usual, for sure. My grandfather had just been admitted to the hospital and it didn’t look good. I had been following the news as well, mostly because I know Wuhan, we’ve been there to meet Feng’s relatives. My mum was stressed out about my grandfather. Feng had just stopped taking Mark to McDonald’s’ playground—don’t judge, it’s a classic activity during harsh Canadian winters—because of a virus going around. I remember laughing when he reported my in-laws had advised avoiding Chinese supermarkets in Ottawa because of possible exposure.

To top it all, Santos wasn’t what I thought it would be. It was older than I had expected, which was a surprise because São Paulo is next door and very modern. It was colder too, but that was probably just me because I was coming from Salvador.

So why on earth am I stopping in Santos again?

Well, this time, my stay in Santos is a strategic move. This is the end of the trip, I’m flying back to Canada from São Paulo very soon. And when I checked the weather back in São Sebastião, I realized it was going to rain the first few days of April. Like, every day. Like, everywhere from Rio to São Paulo. This was before Ilhabela and the night from hell, but after the power outage in São Sebastião. Staying in Ilhabela or São Sebastião for three of four rainy days felt like masochism—small towns, beach towns, nowhere to hide indoors. Same with any of the towns along the coast to São Paulo. São Paulo was an option, but it’s usually the “coldest” place when it rains. So the one option left was Santos, only two hours from São Paulo, a bit warmer, much bigger than São Sebastião—think shopping malls, museums, etc.

In a way, it may be time to go back to Santos, for… I don’t know, closure.

It was predictably rainy and “cold” (i.e. 20⁰C) when I finally made it to Santos. The Airbnb smelled vaguely familiar, a bit like the family house in Saint Michel actually, a mix of old wood furniture and dampness.

The transition to city life was brutal.

This wasn’t the kind of rain you can handle with a swimsuit and a pair of Havaianas. I quickly rediscovered forgotten feelings—soaked jeans against my legs, cold wind, the need to be indoors because being outside isn’t very fun nor comfortable.

For the first time in months, I closed all the windows. It was cold… colder, I mean.

It rained non-stop for two days. Eventually, like half of Santos, I ended up in shopping malls. Unlike half of Santos, I didn’t buy anything. It didn’t rain much yesterday so I walked on the beach. It’s not like I would have gone for a swim anyway—Santos’ many canals all end up in the ocean so the water can’t possibly be clean.

I’m still not a big fan of Santos. It feels old and grim with endless residential streets. I don’t regret stopping for a few days, though. The Airbnb was comfortable, I completed a few assignments and I got mentally ready for São Paulo, my last stop.

No feeling of impending doom, this time.

But Feng and Mark are pretty much the only reason why I’ll board the plane.