Let me paint you the picture.
I brew my own coffee just in case my beloved pre-pandemic $2.36 social break at Starbucks was making me poor. Feng only buys meat when he finds cheap cuts. I swear by Nivea, the best affordable skincare available in Canada. Feng only takes the car out for the school pick up/drop-off routine and for heavy groceries. I have a “cheap” phone plan ($40/month) and Feng doesn’t even have a smartphone. We haven’t bought clothes in Canada for over two years, except for Mark. We don’t travel in Canada—gas, plane tickets, and accommodation are too expensive. We don’t eat out or have food delivered because we just, you know, cook at home. We’ve been living like grad students at the same address for twenty years—think mismatched IKEA furniture and white walls that never got painted professionally. And yes, we travel, but we’re backpackers so street food, buses, and Airbnb apartments… do I need to mention again that I’m still working when I’m on the road?
By North American standards, we’re living cheaply. No debt! Only one car! No cottage! No fancy sporting gear! No finished basement and equipped backyard! No season tickets! No plans to buy a bigger house!
It works for our small family. We both grew up poor and consumerism is an acquired taste we’ve never developed.
In fact, maybe that’s why we’re cheap.
It’s not like we found a trick to eventually stop living pay cheque to pay cheque—no family money, no lottery ticket, no lucky investments. Any money we’ve managed to save is money we earned working two, sometimes three minimum-wage jobs for years, before moving on to better-paid opportunities.
We had our share of luck along the way. No student debt, for instance, since I completed university in France and Feng worked as a co-op student. Occasionally, we were at the right place at the right time. In 2009, I got a two-month contract translator job because I passed a test and someone believed in me, and I found both a career and a calling.
In a way, we epitomize the “Canadian dream,” where anyone educated or trained, flexible enough, and willing to work hard can reasonably hope for a middle-class lifestyle. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. This system I don’t even believe in worked for us… to a certain extent.
But the system is failing.
Everything costs too much. Canada is no longer affordable.
In April, Canada’s inflation rate jumped to a new 31-year high of 6.7%. Food was disproportionately impacted—food retail prices rose by 8.7 percent in March compared to the previous year. Gas prices have just set a new record last weekend in Ontario—$1.95 per litre today.
I’m scared. We don’t have debt, but we don’t own anything. We don’t live pay cheque to pay cheque but we don’t have a steady pay cheque either since we’re both self-employed. We’re trying to think long-term and save money because we won’t have a pension or any other source of income.
In capitalism, there’s no one to catch you when you fall.
Yet, it’s hard to make drastic lifestyle changes. How are you supposed to cut back on spending when you don’t spend much in the first place?
Half of the hacks to cut your grocery bill seem to involve budget-friendly recipes starring rice—hello, Chinese household here, we’ve been buying 50 lb rice bags for years, long before transitory-not-transitory inflation.
But few people enjoy eating rice and beans every day. We need proteins, dairy, fruits and vegetables, bread, and more.
We’re still dealing with supply issues, and anything on sale is flying off the shelves, making grocery shopping extremely frustrating.
You can’t just stop driving in a country designed for cars, not pedestrians—not to mention public transit is both limited and expensive, plus six months of winter. I wish I could lower our Internet and phone bills—not exactly a luxury when you’re working from home, right?—but inconveniently, Canada’s wireless costs are among the highest in the world.
And we’re not the worst off. I have no idea how bigger families, low-income households or anyone on fixed benefits can survive these days.
Much like during COVID, it feels like watching a tornado getting closer and closer and having no shelter.
How about you? Are you worried about your financial situation?
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Our grocery store’s aisles are occasionally starting to look empty here too, but not as much as your pictures. It was a common “normal” sight when we were living in the end-of-the-world Brazil (Rondônia), so in contrast it’s just a little inconvenience here where we’ve been used to overabundance. 🙂 I don’t see it as a big deal. Like you, we live very cheaply. I buy most of our clothes and furniture second hand and walk/bike whenever possible (obviously not for grocery shopping). The kids take the bus to school (which is free). We have been saving forever to buy a house. But with the current price of the housing market, it will definitely not happen anytime soon. We are just waiting for the market to crash again! 😆 (Why are people still over-bidding on houses? Don’t they remember what happened in 2008? It’s not that long ago!!!)
We seem to have the same kind of lifestyle, although I’m guessing you spend a bit more on food with two more growing kids to feed 😉
And you don’t seem to be as worried as I am, which is good! Must be your Argentinian side. Or your inner stillness. Or… something 😆
I’ve never had any empty shelves issues in Brazil but it’s true I’m usually sticking to the coast and not-end-of-the-world places. In fact, I found Brazilian supermarkets absolutely awesome with so much variety! I miss that in Canada where it’s often a battle between two competing brands, good luck if you’d like something else.
Where were you in 2008? Canada? We weren’t affected much by the crisis back then. I can’t remember anything changing much in our life… prices were about the same and we didn’t lose anything (mind you, we had no savings either!).
In 2008 (we were in Niagara) we were not affected by the crisis either, but it would have been a great time to buy a house 😆 Now, holly smokes, people are bidding 200k over the listing price!!! Crazy!
Funny that you found Brazilian supermarkets with more variety than their Canadian counterparts… I guess it depends on the perspective. When living there earning Brazilian salaries, imports were always too expensive, so always ended up buying the same stuff (though, yes, SP supermarkets had more choices than RO and GO). I do miss the street markets though, that was the best to get fresh fruits and veggies… and social life!
It’s funny we have such different perspectives on Canadian/Brazilian supermarkets!
That said, it can probably be explained by the fact that I moved around quite a bit and each new city/state had different specialties so I wasn’t bored. Everything felt cheap for a few days, coming from Canada, but I adjusted to local prices quickly because I was spending months in Brazil. I found way more variety than in Canada for yogurt, cheese (not talking about imported cheese, Minas Gerais production is fine by me!), baked goods, deli (presunto, peito de peru, etc.), bread, cookies, crackers… I was cooking all my meals, usually pasta with veggies and a protein (chicken, fish or eggs). Not a huge selection of veggies but frankly, it’s the same in Canada and in France (I think only Asian supermarkets have a crazy selection!)… I ate mostly broccoli, carrots and zucchini (onion, garlic, etc. as well). I found out that mushrooms and tomatoes are so so and usually expensive. I was surprised that alho poro was super expensive, especially considering Brazilians do seem to cook a lot with alho poro (i.e. unlike mushrooms, imported and not really a thing in Brazilian cuisine as far as I know).
What did you miss/what weren’t you able to find in Brazil?
High inflation rates in the early 80s were one of the reasons people of our parents generation were able to buy a house for cheap, especially because at the time, there wasn’t variable interests rates, so buying a house or an appartement was less expensive than renting.
Let’s note that oil companies (and not only them) are still doing record profits. If inflation was purely structural, they wouldn’t. Price gouging is the reason, and it drives inflation up. But it’s not Biden or Trudeau’s fault.
This is the most infuriating part–price gouging. “Oh, prices going up because Ukraine, COVID…” It explains *many* issues but it’s not an excuse for everything. Cf. Loblaws’ recent profits.
Been “feeling” the inflation for quite a while now. I typically don’t remember prices, so for me to notice the difference means it is quite a drastic change (feels a lot higher than the 8.5% they are quoting for US). Not just in grocery, but also household products, maintenance/replacement costs. Basically everything in life! The grocery shelves are not as empty as what you have shown but definitely not as well stocked as before. Sometimes you just have to adjust what you cook based on what is on the shelf (i.e. sometimes out of chicken thigh or minced pork). With life getting more expensive, taking an early retirement and live on single income certainly doesn’t feel too good for me. However, I don’t think I could manage the hectic lifestyle of juggling everything (career with travel requirements, child with extra-curricular activities, household up keeping) anymore, with spouse who travels constantly for work and no family assistance to fall back on. Extremely stressful! I did that for 10 years and it finally wore me out. So like you, I am more conscious about what I buy, cook at home more and shop during sale (look for deals).
I noticed prices going up last fall, but it was still limited to some foods (i.e. meat), some products, and some services. Now EVERYTHING costs more so there are only two options, buying or not. No plan B most of the time (I mean, I eat eggs instead of meat, for instance, but I still have to eat).
The “juggling everything” life you’re describing *is* exhausting. Looking back, was it worth it for you? (This is a nonjudgmental question, just wondering if you enjoyed it before eventually getting burned out!)
Financial independence has always been important to me, still is, but I have to make compromises for what is best for the family. I enjoyed the identity of being a career woman – you feel empowered and confident. While dealing with stress and politics in corporate world is unavoidable, when you navigate through the challenges, it is very rewarding knowing that you are more capable than you thought of yourself. Interactions with coworkers, bosses, clients, can enrich your lives in a positive way sometimes, other times obviously are stressful because of the BS, politics and unrealistic demands. You can handle it while you are younger, have more stamina and driven to climb the corporate ladder. However, once your have a more important priority in life, like a child who is wholly dependent on you to send/pick up from daycare, attend sports/social activities, feed/clean, family bonding time; plus a dog that gets less and less walks (doesn’t matter how big your yard is), a house that requires some maintenance effort (cleaning, laundry, arrangement to fix/replace stuff etc)…. Everything just piles on and you have to keep cutting your personal relaxation time and you feel more stressed when you are exhausted. Sunday is when you start dreading for Monday morning weekly meeting at work, Friday is when you drink a little too much to compensate for a hectic work week, you come to a point whereby you realize it is not healthy mentally nor physically. I remember the most stressful time had to be when travel dates are being discussed at work, mostly planned buy some impromptu. I dread having to map out travel schedules with my husband because if there are conflicts, one of us has to cancel travel plan, which is another conversation with your boss which may reflects badly on you. No choice because you can board your dog but you can’t board your child. Sometimes it is to a degree that I send her to daycare in the morning, fly out, and prays that my husband’s flight is not delayed and he will be able to come back in time to pick her up before daycare shuts. Dog will be alone all day at home but with dog door, so potty is not an issue. Then when my daughter grows up, her sports is limited to practices that start after work hours, not based on her interests. Even then it was a challenge because my husband worked longer hours than 8-5pm. So a lot fall on my shoulder, because in a way, my job is more flexible. Truth is, being Asian, I just kept slogging and wouldn’t give up no matter how crazy it was to juggle everything. The straw that broke the camel was when the company culture became really bad, and I had a new boss who was clueless about the business and “survive” playing politics and piling unnecessary work on us to make her look good to higher up. At the same time, my husband got a new job that paid more but required a lot more travel plus less flexibility. So we finally came to the decision that I should quit, take a break, and look for another job that doesn’t require travel. Somehow, I enjoyed my break so much that I decided not to go back and it became an early retirement. Obviously dual income=more money is always better (unless you are a billionaire) but we are fine financially with one child and a dog. So I am lucky enough to enjoy more free time (while still busy managing more work in the household), my daughter gets to do what she loves and well taken care of (this part not all positive because she is less independent, I think, but our relationship is closer because I spend more time with her), my dog benefits the most! Haha! I feel despite the exhaustion of juggling everything, I benefitted a lot from being a career woman prior to a full time mom. I wouldn’t be as confident a person and wouldn’t be able to provide better/balanced perspectives to my daughter if I didn’t have the Corporate America experience (esp. for an immigrant like me).
Thank you for taking the time to share!
I like your outlook on life. In fact, I’m starting to really like you as a person as I’m getting to know you!
The mix of Asian pressure to succeed in life plus the American pressure to also “make it”, whatever it means, must have been challenging. I can identify to the need to be financially independent, it matters a lot to me as well. I consider myself lucky I found a way most outside the corporate world (frankly, neither Feng nor I have the guts for it) because as you described, it’s exhausting to juggle everything. When you think about it, it’s crazy–how does society expect women to be great moms, great wife, accomplished professionals and happy on top of that? I was feeling your stress when I was reading about your pickup/dropoff routine.
You sound like a very smart and balanced person. I think you made the right move, both then and now 🙂 Your daughter is lucky to have you! (The dog as well :lol:)
Thank you! I follow your blog because you are very open and honest about your feelings and admire your free spirit lifestyle. Social media is where people post only good things in life or pretend to be happy, you share your true feelings and real life without caring about criticism or judgment. I guess that is the French in you 🙂 If only Asians can just be a little like you, they will be a lot happier.
It took me two days to reply and follow up because you got me thinking about pretending vs. admitting “weaknesses”. Is this a French thing? Mmm… not sure. Just speaking for myself, it comes from the need to bridge cultures in our multicultural household. I quickly realized Feng wouldn’t be able to “read my mind” because he would be missing clues obvious in French culture, just like I can’t read his mind because I could unknowingly misinterpret his Chinese/Canadian mind. We can’t pretend, we have to spell it out. For instance, his idea of success in life is probably influenced by Chinese culture, while mine is influenced by French culture, then Canada has expectations as well. So we could either focus on working hard, saving money and buy real estate (Chinese way), focus on family and claim money doesn’t matter (French way, in which you’re born rich/poor and there’s nothing you can do about it) or just max out credit cards to keep up with the Joneses (the Canadian way) 😆 I’m stereotyping, of course! So instead, we opened up and tried to figure out what mattered to us. And I try to do that for everything in life now because I’m happier if I don’t pretend and if I find what works for us/for me, regardless of what society says.
1. Make the maximum possible of stock for food
2. Pay off the credit of the house if applicable to avoid increase of interest rates
Very good advice!
I stopped spending, period. Prices are too high to buy anything.
I don’t drive anywhere, go anywhere, buy anything or eat out.
I buy absolutely necessary items only.
This will only change once prices return to somewhat of “normal”
I wanted a newer vehicle, but I will continue to make moderate repairs as necessary to my aging vehicle with no mechanical issues, so I’m not paying a HUGE premium to a depreciating asset.
If you want to END the war on over-pricing… STOP BUYING THINGS.
If you are paying $25 for a hamburger, you didn’t just feed YOURSELF, you just fed a monopoly encouraging this behavior.
Think before you buy, think about everyone else.
Much like you, I’m buying less and less, even when it comes to groceries. I’m not a big spender in the first place–I don’t eat out or buy clothing in Canada, for instance. It’s just not worth it.
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