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Mark in Junior and Senior Kindergarten, 2016-2018.

Summer Camps? A+, Canada!

Mark gives me a weird look, one that says, “I can’t take you seriously as a mother if you’ve never had a freaking marshmallow”.

Penises and Vulvae 101

Thanks to me French upbringing, I’ve been blessed with the ability to say “penis,” “vulva” and “vagina” without giggling or blushing. I can answer any question.

The First Millennial Trophy

“Mommy! Look what I’ve got! METAL!” “Metal?” “No, medal!” Mark shouts, barging in to my room. “Everybody got one. I won a medal! Did I do well?” he asks eagerly. I’m stumped. Oh, fuck me. It’s almost...

I’m Bad (You Know)

Sometimes, I say ONE thing ONCE and it will be remembered forever. Problem is, I never know what will stick with Mark. If I did, parenting would be easier, right?

The Notes

It takes me a second to realize that Mark snuck into my bedroom again. I smile.

Question Mark

Mark’s big questions always come out of the blue—even though I’m pretty sure he has been thinking about them for hours—and they often start with an assertion statement.

“Mommy No Fun” Does Easter

Apparently for Easter, I signed up for Kinder chocolate and an egg hunt at home, because that’s what we did last year and that’s what Mark is now expecting for the next twenty years.

Christmas Angst

“All done with your Christmas shopping?” the salesperson asked cheerfully as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer started playing for the 275th times.


I can't remember a bedtime routine that didn't include a quick check on the date and a promise that yes, one day it would be October 12.

Under the Weather

The sun was shining, the sky was blue and the squirrels were squirrelling around. The birds may have been singing too but I wouldn’t have heard them because Mark was watching TV.

Go to Camp, Make Beaver

First daycare/school/camp drop-off is my parenting trademark. I suspect if Feng was witnessing any sign of separation anxiety, he would drive home with Mark in the back seat.