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Kindergarten

Mark in Junior and Senior Kindergarten, 2016-2018.

Penises and Vulvae 101

Thanks to me French upbringing, I’ve been blessed with the ability to say “penis,” “vulva” and “vagina” without giggling or blushing. I can answer any question.

The First Millennial Trophy

Article views: 8 “Mommy! Look what I’ve got! METAL!” “Metal?” “No, medal!” Mark shouts, barging in to my room. “Everybody got one. I won a medal! Did I do well?” he asks eagerly. I’m stumped. Oh, fuck me. It’s almost 8 p.m., I have a deadline to meet and now I have to take a multiple...

I’m Bad (You Know)

Sometimes, I say ONE thing ONCE and it will be remembered forever. Problem is, I never know what will stick with Mark. If I did, parenting would be easier, right?

Question Mark

Mark’s big questions always come out of the blue—even though I’m pretty sure he has been thinking about them for hours—and they often start with an assertion statement.

Christmas Angst

“All done with your Christmas shopping?” the salesperson asked cheerfully as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer started playing for the 275th times.

Five

I can't remember a bedtime routine that didn't include a quick check on the date and a promise that yes, one day it would be October 12.

Go to Camp, Make Beaver

First daycare/school/camp drop-off is my parenting trademark. I suspect if Feng was witnessing any sign of separation anxiety, he would drive home with Mark in the back seat.