My life is better with a bit of China in it—Feng, Chinese food I cook most nights, my favourite Chinese bakery treats, Chinese massages…
“Oh, my… what do you do to your body?”
“I live.”
My tongue-in-cheek humour doesn’t work well in Mandarin. Never mind. The 60 minutes of indulgence just started. I can let it go, relax, enjoy… gee, I might even fall asleep.
Just kidding. I signed up for a Chinese massage, after all. If I pass out, it’s from pain—the art of 推拿(“tuīná”) is a treat for masochists.
Last June, on my way back from the gym, I noticed a new business in a strip mall I usually don’t stop at because I don’t need a payday loan or takeout. Stuck between “The Curry House”—suspicious odourless, I suspect money laundering—and “MunCheese,” a pizza-and-subs hole in the wall riding the legalization wave, there was a spa. Or rather, the sign said “spa place” in English but “foot massage” and “massage” in Chinese.
I paused. Was it an Asian massage place or an Asian “massage” place?
There is a few “Asian spas” on Bank Street and other commuter corridors that offer “relaxation massage” to “relieve tensions.” I don’t have the proof but I believe they are part of the “rub’n’tug” industry—no penetration, everything else negotiable. It’s a thing in Canada. Some parlours are licensed, which means that attendants are allowed to perform the massage naked. Many places just operate as “holistic spa centres” and the police turn a blind eye to sex-for-money commitment-free encounters so long as they don’t advertise such an arrangement is offered.
I can book some X-rated Chinese action at home with Feng anytime, so I’m always looking for a real Chinese massage place. There are plenty in Toronto but so far none in Ottawa.
I pushed the door. A bell chimed. No one.
I glanced at the reception area. Slippers. An upside-down “福” and diplomas on the wall. The hint of Tiger Balm smell. No mirror, dimmed lights, candles or pictures of naked women. It felt like a legit massage place.
A woman holding a phone emerged from the other end of the hallway.
“Hi, do you—”
She held a hand up, typed something on her phone, and gave it to me.
I look at the screen. A translation tool in Chinese.
“Never mind,” I said in Mandarin hoping she didn’t speak Cantonese. “I speak Putonghua.”
“OH! YOU SPEAK CHINESE! WHERE DID YOU LEARN CHINESE? DO YOU REALLY SPEAK CHINESE! EH, MEI, COME OVER!”
The quiet-shy Asian is a dumb stereotype. Chinese women are not particularly quiet and shy.
“Mei” came over and I took another Chinese language test.
“So, anyway… do you do massages?”
“Oh yeah! Now?”
Oh, yeah. Now.
And this is how I found myself enjoying a traditional Chinese massage, a treat I’ve been introduced to in 2001 by my boss in Hong Kong who one day took me to a parlour without telling me what was going—just imagine my face when I was instructed to take off my clothes…
A traditional Chinese massage involves none of the Western spa BS—“so please, like, let me know if the pressure is okay, like, I’m going to touch your back now.” It’s the perfect combination of stretching, kneading and pushing the muscles to balance energy and blood flow. Expect deep pressure, lots of oil, a hot tower to clean up and a brand-new body at the end.
So, why am I telling you this?
Because Chinese massages are a part of Chinese culture worth exploring.
And also because I’m getting tired of anti-China propaganda in Europe and North America.
It’s not a very good time to be Chinese in the West. If you’re not a spy, people suspect you run a sweatshop factory, slaughter your pet dog for breakfast, buy all the properties you can land on, trample on human rights just for laughs or flood the world with shitty products.
“Chinese students… yeah, like, they always cheat on exams,” I overheard a college student telling her friend at Starbucks.
“Are you sure it’s safe to shop in Chinatown?” a concerned client asked me recently. “I mean, these imported products could be full of chemicals, for all you know…”
“You got your FitBit band on AliExpress? I don’t buy made-in-China products, I get mine directly from FitBit,” a woman at the gym commented.
I see how these offhand comments affect Feng, who doesn’t even always strongly identify with Chinese culture. They affect me as well to a certain extent because this is not “my” China and the Chinese people I know I see depicted in popular Western culture—and I like to think I’m fairly knowledgeable after 12 years of studying Mandarin, a degree in Chinese studies, six trips to China and half of my life with a Chinese other half.
There are issues in China, much like everywhere else. China does have an agenda—newsflash, so do Europe and North America.
It’s not okay to okay an anti-Chinese sentiment.
Don’t let the media brainwash you. I suspect the Middle East isn’t just a bunch of countries fighting with each other shouting “Allāhu akbar” or that Africa isn’t just poor people waiting for white people’s help. I know for a fact not all Latinos make crossing the US border illegally their life goal.
Well, the same goes with China—the culture may feel strange and completely different but it doesn’t mean it’s bad, dangerous, or wrong. And for the record, Europe and North America can look pretty fucked up from a Chinese perspective.
So go out and get curious about a culture you feel you don’t know enough. Discover it with an open mind and get a new perspective. Be less easy to brainwash.
And yes, you can start with a Chinese massage.
The article was not sponsored by the Chinese Communist Party and it’s a complete accident I wrote it a day before the 70th anniversary of the PRC—“or is it…?” conspiracy theorists will say…
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“What do you do to your body?”… Was that some kind of compliment or the opposite? Our former landlady was Chinese and I did not find her particularly shy and quiet either, and we have another couple of Chinese friends who are quite interesting and chatty too. But then, I always find that people who live away from their home country behave differently too. As immigrants we all have the common experience of adjusting to a different country and constantly juggling with at least 2 cultures.
I think it was a real question–I’m really tense! Chinese are generally pretty straightforward and don’t beat around the bush. It can be refreshing after so much North American political correctness… or it can be annoying if you take it too seriously.
I agree, immigrants tend to be more accepting and open minded because they’ve always been through culture shock at least once.
I’d love a massage, however I do wonder how it could be possibly turn bad with a translator conversation 😉
If you can find a Chinese massage place in Montreal, go for a foot massage. Less potential for culture shock and possible misunderstandings! But generally speaking, at least one employee speaks English (or French in Quebec?)
Besides, why is China such an important actor on an economic level?
It’s because capitalists, Reagan and Thatcher en tête, were eager to screw unions and started to delocalize there to abuse the workers, with the help of the local “communist” party.
I’m so pissed when I read on a business newspaper that it’s difficult to do business with China : Hey, asshoIe, if you don’t like it, don’t do business here.
Yes, Xi Jinping is an autocratic asshoIe, but like Trump, Putin, Duterte, Bolsonaro, Sarkozy, Erdogan, Bin Salman and so many others.
What kills me is how ignorant people are. I mean, it’s okay (and normal) if you’re not familiar with Chinese culture, there are hundreds of cultures I’m not familiar with. But I try not to stereotype, I like to question what the media feeds us. I also dislike the one-sided perspective on global issue. It’s still we, the West, still have the colonial mindset.
Look at Venezuela. I was disturbed to see how quickly Trudeau went to support Guaido, who does not suffer as much of political oppression as people on Russia.
And I’m not a big fan of Maduro’s autocratic tendancies.
Last year, I really thought it would be a matter of months or weeks before the US was going to intervene strongly in Venezuela. And now, looks like no one cares about it anymore. Which is probably best, considering foreign intervention in Latin America usually equals to setting up a right-wing dictatorship.
C’est la luuuutteuh finaaaale!
Groupons-nous et demain…
L’internationaahahaleuh
Sera le genre humain.
Une bien belle chanson… marrant, je l’entends rarement ici 😀
It’s funny you’re talking about chinese massages… when I came back to Canada after 6 years in Europe, I was looking for a good massage and tried many places… but never chinese places. And what the heck, one day I was really in pain and decided to try the chinese in my mall.. well guess what? I’ve kept on going there for 5 years now!
Oh, that’s awesome! I’m glad to hear that. Out of curiosity, do they speak French?
Very badly, but they are trying! 🙂
Interesting, I have to say I often find myself angry at the way people talk about Africa like it’s only one country, one homogeneous place with one language and a need to be “saved”, or how Muslims are portrayed in popular culture.
I’ll admit I don’t pay much attention to the way Chinese culture is perceived (as it’s not as close to my heart as it is to yours) but I understand where you’re coming from.
I’m always baffled by the close-mindedness and cliches people believe and sometimes the racism exhibited by otherwise sensible people.
Same here, the broad brush used to paint… well, half of the world drive me crazy. The West sometimes acts as if Islam is like some kind of fringe religion. I’m an atheist but hey, guys, Islam is a thing in half of the world, and that’s okay! I don’t even know where to start with stereotypes on Africa and I don’t feel knowledgeable enough to talk about them because it’s a region of the world (yes, a region… a continent, even, not a country!) I don’t know well.
It’s funny you don’t “pay attention” (to use your words, I’m not accusing you of neglecting China!) to Chinese culture since I always hear that BC is half Chinese.
Oups I wasn’t clear! I do pay attention to and enjoy parts of Chinese culture (not to reduce it to that but China town in Victoria is small but lovely. There are some great shops and I love the food I find there…)
What I meant is I haven’t paid as much attention in general to the cliches associated to Chinese culture. I’ve had my share of correcting people who tell me “Asian drivers are all terrible”, “Chinese food is full of MSGs and sugar” and “all these Chinese tourists” for every Asian person they see.
But I am more aware of the systematic racism and its manifestations when it is directed at other groups like Afro-Americans, Indigineous People, people from Latin America or anyone who appears to be Muslim as I have read and heard more about it directly. Or been the victim of it since being mixed race sometimes mean people ascribe all sorts of origins to me.
Chinese was even / only used as an “insult” against me when I was a kid BTW 😉
That’s why I thought what you wrote was interesting, it got me thinking further about the stereotypes and racism associated with being Chinese.
Ah, I get it! I had no idea what your level of familiarity with Chinese culture! I just assumed you had some because of living in BC. There are plenty of cultures and countries I got to know outside France, like Indian culture 😉
I seem to attract comments about China because of Feng. People assume that 1) he hates China and found a new freedom in Canada (er… not really… I mean, they weren’t refugees!) 2) I can explain everything about China (I can explain some cultural facts but it’s hard to debunk myths or racist comments).
I completely understand why you can be more aware of discrimination and racism toward specific groups because of your own culture, background, environment, interest, etc.
Speaking of ignorance and prejudices, the Viens report was published yesterday.
The more I dig into First Nations history the more I learn how shitty Canada was :-/
All colonisator countries have been shitty to the invaded. What annoys me is how Canada’s PR was successful to present itself as a beacon of progressism and inclusiveness when in the same time First Nation members are forbidden to speak their own language in a health center.
And let’s face it, take a random Canadian in the street, you won’t have to push them hard to have them tell you that First Nation members are all savage drunks.
Attention, I’m not saying all Canadians are like that, obviously, but still, there is a sizeable part of the population that think like that.
In fact, have you heard of the incident in a public market with Singh?
A guy good him he was not Canadian enough because he wears a turban. The worse part is that it is possible this guy just wanted to give a nice advice. It’s casual racism people aren’t aware of.
Zut, “told” not “good”.
Casual racism is an issue everywhere but I like the fact that in Canada, it’s just not acceptable in public speeches. Less than in France, at least. My mum is teaching in an apprenticeship centre where there are many young migrants from Africa and South-East Asia–basically the kids you see in the news who survived the Mediterranean crossing. She often hear other teachers saying things like “j’parle pas bamboula, moi!” :-/
It took me a while to realize that Canadians were fairly accepting of all cultures… except the ones that were here before them. I wonder how Canadian history is taught in school. I guess I’ll discover it with Mark.
Hier, dans un reportage sur les élections, on a clairement entendu un homme, d’origine italienne, dans le quartier italien de Montréal, dire : « On veut pas d’Arabe ici. », en référence à l’ancien candidat libéral et maintenant indépendant d’origine libanaise qui se présente dans la circonscription.
It stinks and it sucks. I hope the liberal candidate wins. Also, can someone remind the Italian immigrant the close ties between Italy and the Arabic world???
Any place you would recommend in Toronto? 🙂
Yes! Osteo Tuina – Downtown Toronto on Dundas is more expensive but great for a first experience. There are a couple right besides the Chinese bakery on Dundas as well, totally legit.
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