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5 So-Called Girly and Trendy Skills I Quite Don’t Master

Graffiti in Nantes, 2010
Graffiti in Nantes, 2010

At 30 years old, I should have a firm grasp on my life and my unique sense of style.

I should.

Well, on the plus side, I am not in debt, I kind of like my life overall—even if it’s a bit crazy at times—and I feel thankful for what I have.

But there are these five “girly” things I can’t quite seem to master. First world problems, I know, I know…

Completing DIY Projects: Plateforms like Pinterest are getting very popular and they are all full of clever and artsy projects and “life hack”s. I read them religiously and even bookmark some ideas to Pocket. Hell, sometime I even go as far as buying whatever I need for whatever project I plan to do. But guess why? I never actually complete any project. Either they call for some tools I don’t have, some skills I don’t quite master or are just overall too complicated. So far, all I have mastered is enlarging pictures, framing them and hanging the framed shots on the wall. And even that can take me months to do (ahem, eying the empty frames I bought at IKEA in December that are still stacked under the coffee table…). Oh wait—recently I “repurposed” a few mason jars (read: washed and got the sticky “hot pepper” label off) and threw all my make-up in them. Make-up that I don’t actually use because…

Putting on makeup: In theory, I love make-up. All these colours, these glitters, these textures packed into cute and sophisticated little boxes…—I’d keep on buying more make-up if I bloody knew how to use it. But I’m pretty hopeless at applying make-up. Putting mascara on, that I’m good at. I can even do it without a mirror—a “skill” that most of my friends find funny (I just don’t know how to put mascara using a mirror, actually!). But eyeliner? Meh, it runs, looks funky or looks great on one eye and all weird on the other. Plus I can’t seem to draw a straight line (yes, despite reading tutorials). Eye shadow? I love them. The packaging is really neat and the colours are pretty awesome. When I am done reading the news at Chapters, I like to get tips from popular magazines. But again, how on earth do women recreate the runway “smoky look” or manage to “make their eyes look bigger and brighter” (a common promise in magazines)? When I apply eye shadow over my eyelids, half of it ends up in my eyebrows and the other half on the bathroom counter! I’m not even going to start on foundation (never managed to apply it evenly) or lipstick (who am I fooling? I keep on forgetting I have lipstick on and it will end up on my fingers/my cup of tea/my teeth).

Pulling off a specific look: I like clothes. They keep me warm, finding a bargain (and pants that fit perfectly) feels awesome and feeling pretty is important. But I can never pull off a specific look. I have big fancy belts that I know would look good on a dress—I just never think of wearing them. I like the idea of wearing a skirt, legging and cool legwarmers but I never get around doing that—going bare-legged is easier. A pair of jeans and a cool graphic t-shirt are more comfortable than a fancy top with embroideries and all the accessories—not to mention, easier to wash. And asymmetric tops, really? Do I want to walk around with a bare shoulder? It would drive the OCD me nuts!

Wearing matching underwear: I am a sucker for La vie en rose underwear (usually 3 for $18!) and Calvin Klein bras. Sometimes, I even splurge at Calvin Klein and buy the matching panties but I never get around wearing the bra-and-panties set. I keep them together in my drawer—I even colour code my underwear when I have the chance, after a big load of laundry. But after my shower, I absentmindedly pick whatever is on top in my drawer and end up with mismatched lingerie again. Oh well, I don’t look like a Victoria Secret model anyway.

Styling my hair: Again, like with makeup, I like the idea of having a great hairstyle. I am lucky to have thick easy-to-style hair… so lucky that I use my hair texture as an excuse to just pull off “wash and go” look. I absolutely hate using a hairdryer because my hair look so fluffy afterwards and I really don’t have the patience for a proper blow-dry—not that I would know where to start, anyway. I would love to know how to use these funky hair products my stylist use on me after a cut—even though I beg him not to because I can’t recreate the style at home anyway. But I don’t like the texture of my hair afterwards and since I tend to twist my hair like a shy five-years-old, texture matters to me.

So, please, tell me… am I the only one who doesn’t master these “skills”?

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