It all started on a Sunday afternoon at the photomaton, aka the ubiquitous photo booth used 99% of the time for official picture IDs and 1% of the time for fun, Amélie-like photo strips.
“See, Mark? Unlike in Canada, no need to go to a photographer! For €8, we’re gonna get 6 pictures, and it only takes five minutes,” I bragged with unusual French pride.
“How many pictures do we need?”
“Just one.”
“Then why are we getting six?”
“French logic.”
And as promised, five minutes later, the photomaton spat out the mandatory no-smile mugshots governments around the world seem to favour for ID documents.
This was one of my summer 2023 missions—renewing my national ID card and applying for Mark’s first French ID document.
Applying for IDs or renewing them has gotten ridiculously difficult in both France and Canada—blame COVID, the war in Ukraine, global warming or just reasons.
In France, it’s almost impossible to get an appointment to drop off a passport or an ID card application. I started trying back in April—no spots in all major French cities because the backlog is huge.
So, much like during the early stage of COVID vaccine availability, you have to use a search engine and book the first available spot in a town or a village.
Yes, we’re all pretty desperate.
I ended up booking an appointment in Montaigu-Vendée, population 5,000, and a brand-new accreditation to accept ID card and passport applications, the French government is as desperate as we are.
At least, it was only a 30-minute train ride from Nantes.
“Don’t tell me I never take you to exotic places,” I told my mum. “When why the last time you had the opportunity to ride the 9:35 a.m. train to Montaigu-Vendée?”
We arrived early for my 11:20 a.m. appointment at the city hall because they aren’t that many trains to Montaigu-Vendée.
We found the town centre easily and we sat down at the only café conveniently located more or less in front of the city hall because even for an adventurous mind, there’s absolutely nothing to check out or explore in Montaigu-Vendée.
I had spent hours checking and double-checking I had all the required documents for both Mark and me—former ID card, proof of address, birth certificate, online application number and ID pictures. You don’t get a second chance with French bureaucracy.
“It’s weird, I have yet to see anyone going to the city hall,” I mentioned at one point. “All the appointments available were gone in five minutes, there should be a constant flow of applicants coming and going.”
I was getting slightly worried.
At 11:00 a.m., we decided to walk to the city hall.
“Are you here for passports or ID cards?” the employee asked.
“Yes, we have an appointment at 11:20 a.m.”
“It’s not here, it’s in the new, dedicated ID document centre.”
“Where is it?”
“Oh, it’s far. About… 15 minutes?”
“By foot?”
“Oh, you don’t have a car? Forget it, it’s a 50-minute walk. I don’t know try… hitchhiking, maybe?”
Fuck.
I didn’t even have the centre’s address, which was literally in another town—I learned later that Montaigu-Vendée was the result of the amalgamation of several towns, now all called “Montaigu-Vendée” even though there were several kilometres apart.
We started walking along the road.
“That’s it, I’m hitchhiking. We’re never gonna make it.”
“This reminds me of travelling with your dad,” my mum said.
“As far as I know, he’s still hitchhiking,” I informed her.
A nurse picked us up and dropped us off right in front of the centre at 11:15 a.m.
Phew.
Then I sat down in front of the employee, who started checking all my documents and misspelling my name four times.
“Pictures… Oh, no. They don’t meet the standard.”
“Wait, why?”
“Looks like there’s a shadow here. No, look, top left. And yours are… overexposed. Also, your mouth is slightly open.”
“It’s not!”
“It is.”
“Fine, where is the photomaton? We can take another set.”
“Oh, no photomaton here! You will have to book another appointment. Next!”
Fuck me.
There was no point in arguing.
We left and started walking along the road, between the farms.
“Are you gonna call another Uber, mommy?”
“This is called hitchhiking, I strongly recommend against it, now help me flag a car.”
Eventually, someone picked us up and dropped us off at the train station.
Meanwhile, I somehow found another appointment in Angers.
Wish me luck.
And photomatons are stupid, really.
J’hallucine!!!! Ma pauvre…! Tout ce stress! I don’t wanna brag… mais moi, je suis allée chez le photographe, et mes photos ont toutes été acceptées 😛 (cette année, j’ai refait ma carte d’identité, mon passeport – qui n’était pas nécessaire puisque je n’ai aucune intention de m’évader si loin mais bon bref – et la carte d’identité de ma fille de 19 mois) !
Bon courage en tout cas! Et bonnes vacances en France! Nous, on part demain pour Saint-Malo ! Never been!
I ended up doing just that—we had the pictures taken in a camera shop and my application was accepted in Angers a few days ago.
Wait, wait, wait… did I miss the news about your daughter??! YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER!!
Ah oups… I guess I haven’t posted in a while. I’m always kinda scared and super cautious when posting and then it’s outdated… I have also been a bit busy renovating and mothering the last 4-5 years! 🙂
C’est super, félicitations avec beaucoup, beaucoup de retard! Un ou deux enfants?
C’est l’avantage avec le système canadien. Les photographes prennent une photo qui est garantie aux normes. Mais bon, c’est 26 dollars les 2 photos. Ou alors la photo est prise sur place pour le permis de conduire.
Je me rappelle avoir eu le même genre de problème avec ma demande de carte de chronotachygraphe, je pense avoir dû renvoyer des photos au moins 2 fois.
Mais là, c’est quand même exagéré de devoir prendre un rendez-vous et d’apprendre sur place que les photos ne sont pas au bon format. Ça ressemble un peu à une tentative de prouver que le service public ne fonctionne pas, ’va falloir privatiser pour améliorer le tout.
I had to look up chronotachygraphe in the dictionary. Very hard to use in day-to-day conversation (for people outside your field) but great one for Scrabble games.
Aussi appelé le mouchard. Mais ça fait moins de points au Scrabble.
Ah, ben du coup, je connais. But why do you need a picture for it? I can’t picture it (pun slightly intended).
On est passé en Europe au chronotachygraphe électronique au courant des années 2000. C’est un boîtier de la taille d’un autoradio qui enregistre les mouvements du camion et d’autres trucs (je préférerais l’ancien système avec disque papier, mais bon). Et pour identifier les chauffeurs, chacun et chacune doit avoir une carte de chronotachygraphe à insérer avant de commencer la journée. C’est une carte au format carte de crédit sur laquelle il y a diverses infos et une puce pour enregistrer les heures de services.
https://www.chronoservices.fr/fr/carte-chronotachygraphe/conducteur.html
The more you learn!
Is it used in the US as well? I remember translating text (and mostly warnings) about proper paper disk used for a US trucking company not that long ago (a couple of years ago, maybe?)
No, that’s not the same system.
Until 5 or 6 years ago, we still used paper logs¹, it was just a piece of paper, to fill every day, on which we had to fill what we were doing, like it was used in France 50 years ago (even my father didn’t used it. Incidentally, it was called ”le Menteur”), but we have now to use electronic devices to log our hours of service. And it’s mandatory in Canada since last year I think. That’s generally called e-logs.
¹: it looked like that
https://db73q1dut0rlp.cloudfront.net/eyJ3aWR0aCI6ODAwLCJoZWlnaHQiOjYwMCwiZml0IjoiY29udGFpbiIsIndhdGVybWFya2VkIjp0cnVlLCJrZXkiOiJhc3NldHMvaW1hZ2VzLzg3MDcyMDQvbGFyZ2UvYjdjMGQ4N2I4NDhjMTY5NjQzOWJkMzMzMWFkZjY5M2YuanBnIiwidmVyc2lvbiI6Mn0=.jpg
Thank you for the insider insights! I’m guessing it’s impossible (or tricky) to cheat with the electronic logging system? Is it even a thing (cheating to drive longer, for instance)?
That is the goal. Which had the effect, it seems, that the average speed of trucks have risen since the introduction of e-logs.