I’m now 35 weeks pregnant (according to my calculations) or 36 weeks pregnant (according to the ob-gyn who definitely was not there when it happened!).
Nine months is a long time. I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever, and I’m still not one of these “glowing pregnant women”. Don’t get me wrong—it is a fascinating experience. But it needs to end at one point!
As scary as the perspective of labour and birth is, I must admit I’m now looking forward to the “Grand Finale” for all these reasons:
- Mini-us loves jumping on my bladder. It was cute when it was a few grams. It’s not cute now that he/she is five pounds.
- I’d love to be able to breathe again. I really can’t right now with the baby pushing into my lungs. And trust me, breathing is actually a pretty cool thing to do regularly.
- I want to go buy some clothes. I haven’t shopped in eight months because I figured it wasn’t worth it, but now I’m looking forward to getting something new—anything new, really.
- I want my body back. I’m a communist and I don’t mind sharing, but hey, it’s been almost nine months. Taking a walk just by myself would be nice.
- I’m sick and tired of getting up every few hours to go pee at night. Yes, I know I will soon be getting up to feed someone, but at least it would be a change.
- I miss doing the floor series on my stomach at yoga. I need to stretch my spine.
- I’d love to eat a normal meal without feeling like I gulped down ten pounds of food. My stomach is so compressed right now that a cup of water fills me up.
- I need a glass of wine. And I don’t even drink.
- Waxing my bikini line and my legs is getting really hard.
- I’m sick of my weekly ob-gyn appointments at the hospital. Lovely people there but I feel I’m spending my life in the waiting room and I read all the magazines.
- I want a belly that doesn’t move on its own.
- I like surprises and I don’t mind some suspense, but still, I kind of want to know whether it’s a boy or a girl.
- I want to use my abs normally again. Right now, just turning in bed is painful.
- I’m tired of being careful and analyzing everything I do, eat, drink, etc. I need to take care of a baby outside my womb, not inside me.
- I want to count the fingers and toes (and considering my math skills, I will probably get it wrong).
- Ultrasound pictures aren’t very flattering. I’m sure I can do better with my camera.
- I want to be able to bend normally over the sink when I’m brushing my teeth.
- No more “pregnancy police” please! Yes, I know, I will get comments from the “baby police” soon.
- I want to know whether I did an okay job of baking mini-us. I hope so.
- I want to know if I can survive labour, God dammit!
I hope the kid can find the way out, though. It seems that the baby has my sense of direction: he/she keeps on pushing toward the right side of my belly, while the exit is clearly… ahem, down there.
Maybe I should draw an arrow on my belly?