Mark… I Am Your Mother…

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Mark and I On The Motorcycle Racing Video Game, Ottawa, March 2013

Mark and I On The Motorcycle Racing Video Game, Ottawa, March 2013

Feng was waiting for me at the Ottawa Airport. It took all my self-control not to run to him—I think I did run, actually. We hugged. I suddenly realized how much I had missed him. There is no better feeling than spotting a loved one waiting for you at Arrivals.

I had a few hours to unpack and start doing laundry before picking Mark up at his grandparents. I emptied my backpack, put my stuff away and started cleaning the house. “I vacuumed like… two days ago?” Feng claimed. “Did you actually plug the vacuum cleaner?” I asked, amazed at how much dust had accumulated over the course of three weeks. No doubt that two guys had been living in the house. There were toys scattered everywhere, as well as “guy food” in the fridge and on the kitchen counter—chicken nuggets, popcorn, candies…

Meh. I lived in hostels. I have seen worse messes.

We drove to Feng’s parents. I was nervous, as if summoned to the principal’s office after being caught skipping school. “Do you think he will to recognize me?” I asked. “Of course he will! You are his mother!”

I had no idea how Mark was going to react seeing me and I had butterflies in my stomach.

We rang the bell, my father-in-law opened the door and we stepped in. My mother-in-law was going down the stairs, Mark in her arms. When he saw me, a look of surprise flashed across his face. Then he smiled and called “woo, woo!”

I hugged him and he hugged back. It stroke me how much Mark looks like Feng. It stroke me how grown up he was. He is no longer a baby but a little boy now. This didn’t happen over the past three weeks, of course, but it’s easier to notice changes when you don’t see people in a while.

After hugging, Mark decided to rebel. He got mad at me and ran to my mother-in-law, crying to be picked up.

I was expecting such reaction from my perceptive little boy so I let it go.

Once we were home, it was business as usual. Mark’s hair and nails were very long so I held a “cutting party”. I bathed him, fed him, entertained him.

“I told you, Mark. Mommy always comes back,” I said.

“Ah da.”

“Yes, I missed you too. Did you have fun when I was away?”

“Ah da.”

“Good. I had fun too. Now, let’s have some fun together, shall we?”

“Ah da.”

I chose to take it as a “yes” and tickled him.

Yep, mommy is back. My hair is shorter, I am ridiculously tan and I really need to wax my legs. I feel pretty good.

Now is the time to start a new routine and yes… this includes getting help with Mark.


About Author

French woman in English Canada. World citizen, new mom, traveler, translator, writer and photographer. Looking for comrades to start a new revolution.


  1. Looking good with your new haircut and Mark!

    This was a really touching post – I’m so happy to hear that you ran to Feng and that you were so excited to see Mark again.

    I’m glad that you’re going to get help with Mark, too. I know it would be expensive to get a sitter or put him in daycare, but if it’s for your own health, it’s worth it. I know I can’t really talk as I’m not a mother and I don’t know anything, but lots of moms everywhere have their kids watched by other people. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom or that you don’t have things under control! I think you need to cut yourself some slack – it’s obvious how much you love Mark from what you have said. You’re only human – don’t take the whole world on your shoulders.

    • You are definitely “allowed” to give advice and offer a perspective, even if you are not a mother! Seriously. Being a parent doesn’t make you any wiser, trust me. Some of my friends who don’t have kids yet have been more perceptive than other moms 😉

      And… yes. Time for a structured schedule with third-party provider. Mark needs it, and so do I!

  2. I love that Mark whooped when he saw you. So darling. Glad to hear you made it back safe and sound and are getting into a happy new routine. (It’s 4 am in India and I can’t sleep!)

    • I wouldn’t be able to sleep either, must be so exciting to be there! Anything you can do that late (or early, I guess) over there? In China, some cities never sleep and it’s pretty safe to wander around, did it a few times 🙂

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