At home, one of my many nicknames is “mommy no fun.” That’s me, a real killjoy. I don’t buy a new toy every time we go grocery shopping, I don’t recommend eating chips for breakfast, I’d rather not encourage a five years old to watch 18A-rated horror movies and I like to point out that jumping on furniture has consequences.
See—I’m not fun. My in-laws are fun, they never say no. Feng is still fun because his “noes” don’t carry much conviction and, with enough whining, decisions are usually followed by “oh, whatever”.
Have you ever started a new job not quite sure of how someone found you suitable for the position? That’s how I feel as the parent in charge of enforcing discipline. Why do I always have to be the bad cop? I hate policing and managing people and I have a questionable relationship with authority! I’m easygoing! I believe in talking things out! JUST DON’T FUCKING JUMP AROUND IN FRONT OF THE TV WHEN YOU EAT CHICKEN NUGGETS, OKAY?
So when something fun comes up—Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Mark’s birthday…—, I take it too seriously. I know I won’t “win” because no matter what I do, my in-law will always buy more gifts, bigger toys, and giant cakes. But I want to mark the occasion so that Mark will have happy childhood memories.
Apparently, for Easter, I signed up for Kinder chocolate and an egg hunt at home, because that’s what we did last year and that’s what Mark is now expecting for the next twenty years. If I had decided that our Easter tradition was bathing in a tub filled with melted chocolate, I would have had to do it every single year—parents, take note, don’t start with something too ambitious because next thing you know, it has now become the family tradition.
When we left Latin America, there were aisles and aisles of giant huevos Kinder in supermarkets for the upcoming Semana Santa. None of us was really tempted—chocolate and hot temperatures equal a melted mess. The first thing I saw in Canada? Aisles and aisles of the exact same Kinder eggs. This time, I bought one—the biggest, the one Mark expected because guess what, that’s what I gave him last year.
So “mommy no fun” hid the eggs and left notes. Since Mark can read basic sentences, I let him figure it out on his own. Just as well, I kind of forgot where the third and fourth small chocolate “carrots” were hidden in his room.
I’m still “mommy no fun,” though. I suggested eating ALL the chocolate at once probably wasn’t a great idea.
For twenty years? Ho, ho, no. In, what? 12 years ? Hop, out, at the factory or at McDo, to pay for our retirement.
Asian kid? Not a chance. 😆
(Aussi, je ne veux pas te faire peur… mais c’était ton commentaire numéro “666”. Are you feeling evil tonight?)
Yeah! Hail Satan!
I’m a regular poster on a few Patheos Non-religious blogs, I don’t fear a few numbers.
In fact, in some versions of the abrahamic fairy-tale books, depending of the translation, sometimes the number is 616, which a better number because it is a palindrome divisible by 11.
I only gave present to my kids on birthday, after Ramadhan (give money after they complete Ramadhan when they were little kids, but bigger than Mark now) and when they get good grades. but yeah, my late mom become good cop some time :))
btw, the egg hunter is so sweet Zhu!
Both Kinder and Lindt quite expensive in my country. But I think I already commented awhile ago
Lindt is expensive in Canada too. It’s a bit cheaper in France I think, at least the regular kind, i.e. chocolate bars. Kinder is more expensive than no-name chocolate but still affordable and it’s the same price as many other North American chocolate treats.
I like the idea of giving kids a present after Ramadan! How old are kids usually when they’re expected to fully take part in Ramadan (i.e. fasting, etc.)?
after they reached puberty (the girls got their first period). Then fasting during Ramadhan (as well as 5 times a day pray) become Mandatory. Kids these days usually reached puberty in the age 12-13 even younger
How about for boys? Same age? How do kid react when they become old enough to be expected to fast? Is it an honour, a chore…?
Same with the boys, when they reached puberty — usually, their voices will change from kids voice to adult.
For Indonesian probably Malaysian too
(say, when they are about Mark’s age), they do fasting like from 7 am until 11 am (in Jakarta it usally from 4.30 am until 6 pm — from dawn until sunset), and gradually longer when they grow up. I was 11 when I do full fasting.
I live as majority, the situation is fully supported. almost everybody are fasting.
I’ve told you I went to Catholic School for my primary school, haven’t I? Since I’m fasting, my teacher allow me to skip Gym class.
But I do wonder, how’s my friend who lives say, in Sweden? it took more than 16 hrs to fast last year, because it was on summer. tough job I guess.
Many people fast here during Ramadan and yes, I’ve heard “complaints” when the days are long in summer 🙂 I think it’s easier to fast when the whole country/community does it too. I think I can handle the no eating part easily (I often fast involuntarily…) but not drinking, my my… how do you do in hot weather?
Good parent !!!
At least you did a Easter hunt. I did none and I hid my son Easter chocolate his grandma sent him lol !
Was it good chocolate? If so, you have every right to do so. I mean, you DID give birth to him! 😆
Well, yeah, obviously Mark’s expectations are sky-high for Easter– last year you gave him a personal Easter egg hunt that all of us remember.
Seems like you measured up to yourself this year, though!
The toilet sign made me laugh. The Easter bunny has a sense of humor.
In doubt, with kids, go for toilet humour.
Hell, with some adults too!
*hand raised*
Guess what: we saw a real bunny in our garden on Sunday morning. There were totally thrilled! I’m pretty sure they will expect the very same bunny for the following years! We did a small hunt in our garden, only with Lindt eggs and one rabbit each. B. asked me why the eggs were all the same, she was disappointed (of course). But I proposed to eat them all and suddenly everything was all right. I’m not the mommy no fun (and Alex is actually more the bad cop than I am) but they love to say « I don’t like you anymore, you’re not my sister/father/mother anymore, I don’t want to live in this family ». The oldest even packed her stuff recently, hoping to move to her best friend family…. I answered to a comment today, explaining how B. threw a tantrum at the end of an incredible day during which we organized different things just to please her. She was suddenly angry because we refused she ate another candy (she already had a lot). You should have seen our faces in front of a selfish behavior…
Yes, the article you published today actually made me feel… okay 🙂 Not because I enjoy reading about your stress but because I realized we were all the same, trying to please kids, entertain them, educate them… and questioning everything we’ve just did. Mark doesn’t really say the classic “don’t like you anymore” but he proudly announces that he likes daddy best. After the twentieth times in a row, it gets annoying… especially when you’ve just cleaned the fucking house, are making dinner and are about to go read a story. Like, dude…!
They will learn, I know they will. There is always this moment in life when, as a grown up, you realize what your parents really did for you every f****** day of your life (or not lol)
Oh boy, yes… I remember writing a “BTW, it’s a bit late but… yeah, thank you” email to my mum a few months after Mark was born.
This is definitely a “Mommy very fun” moment. I love the toilet note!
I can imagine it’s not easy being the bad cop. Arf!
I was fun for like… two hours. At least.
I’m sorry you got stuck being the bad cop, that’s no fun especially when you’re not into authority!
I always thought Jamie would be the bad cop (and indeed he was with the dog haha)
Anyway, that’s an amazing egg hunt you organized for him! And as Lexie said I’m sure one day he will realize how much you did for him and that setting boundaries was actually a good thing!
As for grandparents, aren’t they meant to do a lot of spoiling? (mine didn’t but I hear of a lot of tough parents becoming the mellowest grandparents)
PS: I got myself a small lindt rabbit and still haven’t finished it! :O
Go finish that rabbit! Uneaten chocolate… that’s blasphemy!
I think grand-parents are supposed to spoil their grandchild a bit. Mine did too, but they respected my parents and wouldn’t do anything they strongly disagree with. I disagree with my in-laws when Feng and I clearly say that we don’t want Mark to (insert latest idea here) and they still do it. As parents, we should have the final say, I think.
Yes I agree, parents should have the last say!
I know you mentioned before that your in-laws aren’t the easiest people to deal with as well…
And I still have a little bit of it left! I think I’ve gone off chocolate :O
Maybe it’s the weather. I find that when it’s cold, I’m not craving chocolate much, I’d rather have savoury comfort food, like oatmeal, soup, etc.