At first glance, foreigners, especially North Americans, may think French are sullen and rude. Indeed, most French don’t smile unless they find something amusing and they don’t display a chirpy attitude by default when dealing with strangers. French care about their acquaintances, their friends, their family—but no so much about people they don’t know. They use very basic social niceties, bonjour, merci, that’s all. Real friendliness is for friends, don’t expect the usual “hi, how are YOU today?” that often prefaces small talk in North America. Customer service isn’t that helpful and I’m sure you’ve heard about bitchy salespeople who think they are doing customers a favour when they reluctantly agree to take their money.
That said, French are still nice people. No, seriously. These past few days, I witnessed several unrelated little acts of kindness that made me realize that even though politeness is expressed differently, it’s still here.
For instance, a family with a full cart invited me to go first at the cash register because I didn’t have much in my grocery basket. Keeping in mind French hate queuing, this meant a lot to me. The other day, a teen in front of me at the bureau de tabac announced he wasn’t buying anything but just bringing back ten cents because a week earlier, he was five cents short and the saleswoman had used loose change from the cash register to help out. “Keep the extra five cents,” he said. “Someone else may need it one day!” Finally, I noticed that shopkeepers become very friendly after one or two visits. One of the bakers close to my grand-parents’ place always says bonjour when I walk by because he sees me almost every day, even if I rarely buy bread from his boulangerie. Our favourite bakery knows what bread I usually like. In Saint-Gilles-Croix-de-Vie, when I bought Mark a panini, the saleswoman gave me a lollipop for him because “I may need it later on when he will be grumpy.”
Everywhere I look, I see strangers who can be unexpectedly nice—if I’m nice as well. So sure, I’m sometimes annoyed with drivers who don’t slow down when they see pedestrians, with people who walk abreast and block narrow sidewalks, with the occasional rude customer service experience. But I try to remember that for one rude person, I see plenty of nice people.
I like people.
Most of the time, anyway.
Porn video shop are not very common, in France. I don’t know where to find one neither in Clermont-Ferrand nor Lille (but I know that they are a lot of them in Sluis, Netherland).
But in the U.S.A, it is a very common sight. Close to churches for conveniency.
There are still many of these in Nantes, around the train station mostly. People say it’s because it was a sailor’s stop…
Hi from Périgord!
I’m not sure if I gave you this article already http://ouiinfrance.com/2013/05/06/a-lesson-on-french-politeness/ but it made me realize how much french people were actually polite, it’s just a different kind of politeness.
I get tired of small talks after a few months in the US and I get tired of the “hi how are you” so generic and superficial. I’d take a sincere “bonne journée !” anytime! Customer service in the US, though, is just too perfect it could make me cry of joy
Ah it’s just different I guess. I like people too! My boyfriend always says that no “commerçant” can resist my smile when I’m asking for something
Hehehe
I kind of agree with you (bookmarking the article for later read!). I’d rather have a genuinely polite exchange than forced cheeriness. However, there are genuine people in Canada and truly rude commerçants in France… How are you holidays going? relaxing?
Oh yes and they are quite numerous too! When it happens, I just insist in saying “Merci” “Au revoir” etc with the biggest hypocritical smile I got to make them say it too. That’s my guilty pleasure…
Vacations are going great! So much to see, to do, to eat… Hard to relax!
I hear you, it’s not really relaxing but it’s super fun 😉
Like you, I love to be overpolite when I meet someone rude. “Oui MADAME, merci BEAUCOUP” 😆
Nantes’ night shots really bring out its beauty! Magnifique!
Glad you enjoyed the shots!
Your photos look so…. French haha
And yes, the French are polite, just in a different way. I find Americans way too over the top, I think the Canadians are a good compromise though 😉
Canadian politeness is a good mix of British and American politeness, so I agree, it’s just fine 😉
Your last two lines sum up how I feel too!
That’s great, we are… hopeful!