How much can you complain about your new country after you immigrate?
Some wish they hadn’t immigrated to Canada and criticize everything and others praise everything but now hate their home country. The truth must be somewhere in between.
Immigrants usually go through different phases. Love when everything is new, frustration when the first difficulties appear, and then eventually everything settles down as the person finds a place in society.
But some will never get over the second stage.
Immigrating is harder than one thinks. The paperwork part is easy even if it is frustrating at times — the real problem is adapting, and not everyone is equal.
Some think because they live in a “poor” country life will be easier in Canada. Immigrating is thus seen escaping for a better life — it’s gotta be better in North America, right? Materially speaking, it may be true. Yet life can be tough in many ways. For example, those coming from countries where family is very important may feel isolated without a helpful social network. A few years ago, I talked with a young Moroccan guy on a forum. He has married a Québec woman and couldn’t wait to go live with her. I had news a few months later: he had settled with her in a remote village, couldn’t find a job and he missed home and his family. His dream of a better life in North America certainly didn’t match his expectations.
So, why do people fail to adapt?
I recently received a very angry comment to Top Ten Reasons I Love Canada. The author, “Cansick”, said:
Canadians, particularly in Toronto are worst that people from Paris. They are rude, they discriminate and they don’t help you. They think that they have the perfect system, society and way of life but far from that. What amazes me more is that the Torontonians, think that they are perfect but they aren’t.
People, if you are thinking in coming to Canada, be prepared to the Canadian “I don’t care” and rudeness. Yes, people think that the so mentioned politeness and kindness are so but in fact, they are passive agressive attitudes. […] Canadians, and Torontonians particularly, don’t tolerate your level of preparation, that’s why they don’t allow you to be a medicine doctor, a teacher or an architect. […] Again, my description is not rossy. I don’t like them, and they are not as you are describing them.
Beyond his angry words (and of course, the spam for some “I hate Canada forum” that I removed), I can tell this person didn’t research Canada very well and had high expectations that weren’t met.
I can understand that: I sort of “ended up” in Canada and I really didn’t have a life plan when I came here. At times, I found the system frustrating. Come on, you guys know it: I’m the French woman who had to take a French as a second language test at university to be admitted!
But I think that at one point, immigrants have to take their responsibilities. Sure, the system could be better/ faster/ easier etc. Yet, over 250,000 people make Canada their home every year! One of the main issues remains the problem of foreign credential recognition. To select skilled workers and to not let them work in their profession is an economic nonsense. That said, the problem is well-known especially for regulated occupations such as doctors, engineers, accountants etc. If you are determined to work as a doctor in Canada, great. But you know it won’t be easy. You can try to beat the system (some succeeded) but don’t bitch about it if you choose to immigrate to Canada with full knowledge of the facts. And getting these facts is your job as a prospective immigrant.
As for those who claim Canadians are racist… Do all Canadians accept multiculturalism? Maybe not, even though open hate towards immigrants is not tolerated. You may have to fight some stereotypes, especially in smaller towns. It is also worth noting that Canadian immigration policies are rarely questioned — worse case scenario, the debate is about raising the number of immigrants accepted every year.
Landed immigrants are certainly not second-class citizens. However, settling takes time. Accept it. When I was teaching, I met new French immigrants whose attitude really got on my nerves. On her second day at the school as a teacher, one of the women who was about my age took me aside and said to me: “this job really sucks, I can’t believe I’m down to doing that“. Excuse me? I worked in a call center, as a secretary, as a receptionist… hell, I even sold flowers in front of LCBOs before I could even get that job! Holier-than-thou attitude gets you nowhere… if you think you are too good for that job, go out and look for a better one.
Immigrating is indeed a learning process and you need an open mind for the challenge. If you are not happy, that’s fine. You can try to make things better by adapting, looking for help, getting involved in politics or lobbying for change. Or you can take your responsibilities and question you decision to immigrate. But sitting around, bitter and all, and blaming the system without doing anything won’t get you anywhere.
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Well said :-), things are not easy and if you’re not prepared for that, don’t bother at all.
.-= Nigel Babu´s last blog ..Pushing 150 kg =-.
That’s totally true! I am just getting out of the second phase, that phase lasted like a whole year, it was bad enough that at one point I was considering going to the doctor to get some “happy pills”.
Expectations are really what made me feel awkward towards France, I felt as if I was living in a pale copy of what I had thought it to be.
I guess expecting the worst of a country makes one better prepared for immigrating to ANY country 😉
.-= Cynthia´s last blog ..Demain je me Pacs =-.
Hey Zhu,
No, immigrating is not easy for many people. As I have told you, I have lived in many places but I have never encountered any problems with adjustment: I adjust, period.
However, I know a lot of people who do not adjust. Take Portugal for example: we have a lot of immigrants here (thank God) and many of them do not adjust well, they only socialise with people from their country (which is bad, specially because the Portuguese welcome others cultures and like to meet new people and cultures – as strange as it may seem), and speak their own language (which is also bad, because they should speak Portuguese). It’s tough for them, but I feel like we (Portuguese) must reach out to them and help them.
As for this angry opinion on Canada: I do not agree with Cansick at all. I lived in Toronto and everybody was nice to me and my family. I loved our time there.
But oh well, I guess his experience was bad (I wonder if his attitude towards others had anything to do with it; cause you know what they say: what you give is what you get in return).
“But I think that at one point, immigrants have to take their responsibilities.” – absolutely!!
“But sitting around, bitter and all, and blaming the system without doing anything won’t get you anywhere.” – hear! Hear!
Excellent post, Zhu-Zhu (may I call you that?)!!!
Cheers
.-= Max Coutinho´s last blog ..Some Women kill me… =-.
I used to get annoyed when people talk shit about Canada…honestly, if you don’t like it, you can leave. And I’ll remain this type of attitude until someone can fully explain to me why they’re still living in a country that they don’t like.
Racism is everywhere…we all have to fight the stereotypes and insults. Also, for those who bitch all the time, are those who are not used to changed and can’t adapt to the differences. It’s sad but they’ll remain bitchy until they’re out of the country.
Il y a beaucoup de sites qui critiquent les Danois et Danemark…C’est tellement ridicule. En-tout-cas, j’espere que les nouveux arrives vont avoir moin de difficulte.
I complain a lot about France and I will admit that I don’t absolutely love it here, but yet I stay because it’s my choice. I could go back to the US (but I really don’t want to…) I guess it’s different for those of us who never intended on immigrating in the first place. I never wanted to live in Europe permanently – I was only supposed to be here for 8 months and then move on. Obviously that didn’t happen and sometimes I do struggle with being here when I know I’d prefer to live in North America again. It must be a much larger let down to want to immigrate some place and then have it not turn out as you expected. At least I knew going into it that there were a lot of things I wouldn’t like!
The racism issue is so stupid. Racists are everywhere – it doesn’t matter what country you are in. They are small minds in every town. The only reason immigrants seem to notice it more is because it’s directed at them in their new country, instead of at the minorities in their home country. And just the fact that they say “all (fill in nationality here) are racist” makes them just as intolerant and pig-headed.
.-= Jennie´s last blog ..Fahrenheit vs. Celsius =-.
I guess some people just can’t be happy no matter what. They weren’t happy in their own country, they are not happy in Canada and they won’t be happy anywhere else.
.-= Agnes´s last blog ..All I want for Christmas is you =-.
Your own experience of the immigration process and of being an immigrant has led you to a realistic, common sense understanding of all that it entails. I’m so glad you managed to put up with all the frustrations involved so that you became a citizen.
Reading your blog should really be a mandatory part of the process for anyone considering such a move!
.-= Beth´s last blog ..Ho Ho Ho – Snap! =-.
I say it all the time, so I will say it once again: “Immigration is not for everybody” 🙂
I think you’re wasting your time with somebody like that. As you said, some people get stuck in that second phase in which everything here sucks all of the sudden. Those are the ones who should consider going back to their places of origin. Maybe Canada was not what they thought it would be. But just because it doesn’t work for you, you can assume that it sucks!
The guy who wrote you that comment is just plain ignorant. Or maybe not; he might know what he was doing, as he was trying to plug his anti-Canada forum. In any case, dedicating more than 3 seconds to people like that is an absolute waste of time.
I love Argentina, it’s the place where I was born, my roots and my background. And I love Canada, it’s the place I chose to be, it’s my future and it will be the place where I die (hopefully not too soon!). I can’t help but feel sorry for those who cannot accept the fact that there are good things and bad things about the place they come from and the place where they live now. I’ve seen way too many immigrant post bad news from their home country with titles like “Thanks for reminding me why I left” or constantly bash their new country. I pity them, because they still need to find a justification for what they’ve done or are about to do. Further proof that they shouldn’t probably be here…
I know I digress. But I have discussed this so many times before! It’s one of my favourite hobbies… 🙂
.-= Gabriel´s last blog ..Christmas in Waterloo I – Rudolph, the red-noised reindeer =-.
A good post…
I’m not an immigrant, but I did spend one year in California. I felt at home after just a few weeks. I think my biggest hurdle back then was having to drive on the right side of the road. (Malaysia follows UK tradition.)
I think there are two essential requirements if an immigrant wants to be happy in his/her host country. First he/she should be ready to integrate and to mix with people of other cultures. Unfortunately, many immigrants see their host countries as nothing more than a place to make money. They have no intention to integrate.
Secondly, immigrants should have a sense of gratitude of what their host countries offer them. Again many of them don’t. Recently a Chinese immigrant to Singapore declared that “Beijing is my real home.” She was immediately criticized by the Singaporeans, and I believe she wasn’t happy there.
Just a matter of fact, there are many Westerners who reside in Thailand. Quite a few have picked up local language. Some are married to Thai women. I think they are doing quite well. That is, even though Thailand isn’t as wealthy as their home countries.
.-= khengsiong´s last blog ..My Boring Landscape Photos =-.
Did I tell you I love your blog?
Sincerely,
One Silent Blog Reader
Some people do not deal well with change, some thrive on it. People who don’t like change probably should not be immigrants. A lot depends on attitude. For example in my travels I have encountered more than a few American tourists who seem to be offended by the fact that these “foreigners” don’t speak English. THEY are the foreigners, duh!
i think it is like that for new jobs, new relationships, new almost anything. some people adapt easily, others find change a struggle. some people are going to be happy no matter what happens to them, and others will always be unhappy. one person likes to take risks, and another wants everything handed to them.
so it doesn’t surprise that immigration can be difficult for some. you “hit the nail on the head” (an american idiom) when you talked about being separated from family and one’s support system. when you make a major move, you have to “grow roots” to find nourishment.
flowers can bloom, even in the snow.
you are a remarkable woman, zhu.
.-= Seraphine´s last blog ..Nothing Lasts Forever, Q.E.D. =-.
Such a great post. Thanks. Potential immigrants absolutely must do their due diligence when it comes to informing themselves about every aspect of such a life changing decision such as moving to a new country. My partner and I massively researched Canada before immigrating from the U.S. We were very well prepared and good thing, too. Compared to many other immigrants our hardships have been light – but still significant. The knowledge we gathered helped immensely and our expectations were generally spot on. At times it has still been difficult. Immigrating to another country means starting over in many ways. For some, it means starting over completely. Canada may be a new culture for some immigrants. The U.S. and Canada do share a common connection and some history and are both considered “North American Culture.” Despite this we have had our own process of adjustment. I am proud to say there are serious differences between the U.S. and Canada which we had to get used to. We expected certain challenges after moving. A critical one, which is mentioned in your post, is finding employment. Almost every immigrant we know has had to take some sort of “menial” job – one below their accumulated skill level. I feel very fortunate my partner and I knew what our first year or so would be might be like. A very, very good piece of advice I’ve given those who’ve contacted me prior to immigrating to Canada has been that the move (immigrating) will challenge you in ways you may not expect. Before you move, do your research and, if in a relationship, communicate with your partner and be sure you are both “on the same page.” Make sure you are in accord and your relationship is solid because the move will be challenging. No doubt about it.
@Nigel Babu – It sounds fairly commonsensical but I guess it’s not for some!
@Cynthia – I think a lot of people have high expectations when it comes to France and I’m not sure why. The “French way of life” as seen by Americans is a bit…er… twisted. That said, it’s a nice country, just not exactly like a lot of people expect!
@Max Coutinho – Yes, I’m a little Zhu-Zhu pet 😆
To me, there is still a difference between settling down, adapting and being integrated in the culture. I personally don’t mind people not speaking the language, living in particular district such as Little Italy or Chinatown etc. From my experience, it doesn’t mean that they don’t consider themselves as citizens of their new country.
As for settling down, well, a lot of it is psychological. Everybody go through a difficult phase… it’s a problem when it lasts.
@Bluefish – I think the difference is in how constructive is the criticism. I don’t think everything is perfect in Canada, however, there is some “empty” bitching that I can’t stand. If after three, four, five years to still compare everything with home… you never really left.
@Jennie – I didn’t notice you complained in a bad way to be honest, you sound more “surprised” than totally exasperated with French.
Besides, I can understand it if you are still “in between” the USA and France.
@Agnes – There is a lot of that too! The eldorado doesn’t exist…
@Beth – Now, if only the federal government could hear you and give me a lot of money for blogging! 😆
@Gabriel – I feel exactly like you, except my “Argentina” is France. I always explain Canadians that I didn’t hate France, but that I wanted to choose the country I wanted to live in, and not just stay in Europe for the sole reason I was born here. I like going back to France as a tourist, but I feel more comfortable living in Canada. It doesn’t make France hell on earth!
@khengsiong – When you talk of the “place to make money”, I think you are right on. I also know a lot of foreigners who go to China or the Middle East to make money, and it is the sole purpose of their move. They completely disregard locals and only thin of paying their mortage back home. It’s too bad, really.
@Maria – Dear silent blog reader, I take praise like that anytime! 🙂
Thank you so much for taking the time to say something nice. I deeply appreciate it!
@Tulsa Gentleman – Europeans can be like that too, some still think they are the center of the world, the same way some Americans think they rule the world.
@Seraphine – Thank you for your nice words! I think to immigrate you must be either very innocent, or do plenty of research. I was able to be very innocent because I traveled a lot before coming to Canada, so I expected the culture shock, some loneliness etc. If immigrating is your first bog trip abroad and you are not aware of these problems, you are in for s surprise.
@Adam – Thank you! It’s very interesting to hear from a couple, since I immigrated by myself (well, I was the one moving). I do agree, being on the same page is a must before leaving.
I actually think it can sometimes be harder for Americans or Europeans to adapt because the culture shock takes more time to come. If you are, let’s say, from a tropical island, you will notice immediate difference with Nunavut. If you are from North Korea, you know everything is difference. But for a lot of Americans and Europeans, life seems similar at first, which is a mistakes because there are many difference, notably at work and in social relationships.
Your observations are so true! The same thing is mirrored in the US – immigrants with quite a-love-and-hate story of their adopted country.
Nice post juliette. I know it’s not an easy topic for people to discuss. It definitely makes people uncomfortable.
It’s got to be hard to not have your credentials recognized, or sit through long periods of time expecting to be a doctor but end up driving a cab. I know a lot of doctors from southwest asia and the middle east at work here in the US and they went through similar troubles.
The immigrant anger exists. It is true, there are whole websites that seem to be devoted to attacking canada as a false dream for immigrants. Maybe there are websites like that for those that moved to the USA too. I haven’t seen them. I think it’s because people expect cruddier treatment in the land of “socialism for the rich, and free market for the poor.” I think the world image of canada is one people have placed on a pedestal. It’s not expected from the nation that teaches democracy from the sky with drones and fighter bombers.
I think immigrants should definitely do research though. Learn about the weather, the people, the attitudes, etc.
I’m hoping our immigration experience is better. I’ve got little kids and I hope for a better life for them-one that won’t bankrupt them and crush their souls. I know canadians have the same problems other people have but I know canadians are a good and just people with big hearts and open arms. I still won’t like hockey though, or canadian football…maybe the kids will
If only the CIC would get our papers processed!!!
Interesting and enlightening post. I think I’ll become an immigrant somewhere in the future. Been planning on this for quite some time.
As to those who bitched about this and that after immigrating, you can say it into their face, “Don’t like it here? Go back to your own country!” 😀
.-= kyh´s last blog ..Great churches of Manado =-.
Alas, the grass is not always greener on the other side. But you are right, it is very very important to do one’s homework, especially for such a major thing as possibly moving to a new country. Sometimes that is not possible, but researching the culture and opportunities that you will have based on your skills is important.
.-= Seb´s last blog ..Star Bear American Apparel T-Shirt =-.
No country is perfect. Some things might be better in one’s home country, while other things might be better in the new one. Of course, one will initially find new things to be disturbing, since old things are drilled in one’s head by the time they immigrate, but there isn’t a country where there are all good things and no bad things. That’s called utopia.
.-= Linguist-in-Waiting´s last blog ..Dissertating Blues =-.