“Why didn’t you call me ‘Nick’?”
“… Because we thought ‘Mark’ was a good name.”
“Can I change my name to ‘Nick’?”
“Nope.”
“I think we’re going to walk for at least an hour.”
“More like thirty minutes. I’ve just been there and back, it doesn’t take that long. And it’s a sand dune, sand dunes are cool, right?”
“My tummy hurts.”
“Why?”
“DUH! Because I’m hungry.”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? If you see the word ‘pastel,’ let me know, and I’ll buy one.”
“What is it?”
“Food. Like a big fried wonton with beef or chicken. Or cheese.”
“I want the chicken one.”
“Well, let me know if you see someone selling them.”
“Oh… you don’t have it?”
“I’m wearing a swimsuit, Mark, does it look like I have a fried wonton snack in the pockets or the bag I don’t have?”
“You’re being silly. I had a dream last night. You were having a party with a megalodon.”
“I wish you hadn’t seen that movie.”
“Where do megalodon live?”
“They are extinct, like dinosaurs. It was a movie, Mark.”
“I liked the cake last night.”
“Yeah, do you know what it was? A carrot cake.”
“NO!”
“Told you, it doesn’t taste like carrots. Besides, you should love carrots, I ate tons of them when I was pregnant.”
“… Was I eating your food?”
“Yes, because it passes through the umbilical cord, and—”
“Oh, I know that. I saw it in SpongeBob. Like, the mommy has a baby and—”
“Pregnancy is nothing like a SpongeBob episode, trust me.”
“If you say so… Oh, can you sing the song the singer sings?”
“Huh? Can you be less specific?”
“You know, the guy with the white t-shirt.”
“Oh, Freddy Mercury?”
“WE WILL ROCK YOU!”
“What’s the slime?”
“Jellyfish.”
“Mommy, do you………”
“Speak louder, Mark, it’s noisy here, I can’t hear anything!”
“MOMMY DO YOU LIKE FLASH?”
“Banana boat?”
That wasn’t Mark but one of the beach vendors. I shake my head no because I’m not quite sure how to politely decline—não, obrigada (“no, thank you”) or que isso?? (“what the fuck…”). Also, what’s a bana—
“Mommy, look, the boat looks like a banana!”
Oh, okay, got it.
“This is my magic wand! I’m turning you into… a frog!”
“Croak.”
“I’m turning you… into mommy!”
“Washyourhand, stopwatchingTV, gotobed, thisistooloud, stopjumpingaroundwhenyoueat, dontlikeyourhandstheyaredirty, don’t—”
“Nice one, mommy! Now I’m turning you into… a rabbit!”
“Sorry, ran out of ideas, not sure how to be a rabbit.”
“Mommy, you’re—”
“Caipirinha?”
“For fuck’s sake, can the world let me enjoy a nice walk on the beach? Mark, we can talk later, it’s noisy here, I can’t hear you! Just enjoy! We’re almost here! We don’t have to talk all the time!”
“Where is the sand dune?”
“… In front of you.”
“That’s huge!”
“Go climb it.”
“Yay!”
This was superbly hilarious! I loved reading the conversations you are having with Mark. Parenting is tough, and I don’t think it’s for me/us, but I understand that there are moments that can brighten up your day, in hindsight.
Mark actually helped me write down this one, he reminded me “all the stuff he discussed during the walk” 😆
Quelle chance vous avez de pouvoir partir tous les ans au soleil …
Vous restez combien de temps au Brésil ?
Cécile
Au Brésil, jusqu’au 18 janvier. Après…?
Et pour l’école de Mark, vous faites comment ?
En France ce serait compliqué de justifier une absence aussi longue, en tout cas à partir du primaire.
Des amis l’ont fait pendant 6 mois, mais les enfants étaient au Cned pendant le temps du voyage.
Ce sont les vacances, pour le moment, et Mark ne manquera que deux semaines cette année.