When you walk around the city a lot, you overhear conversations… including these puzzling, awkward and cringe-worthy moments!

The antonym of “classy”

A woman wearing shorts, tight boots and a somewhat trashy top talking to her friend:

“I’m trying to show my feminitiness (sic.), ya know. So, I told him to fuck off because he’s such a fucking asshole, I mean, no way his dick gets inside my pussy.”

Pointless clarification

Police blotter in the newspaper:

“The husband bashed his wife’s head with a faucet—the couple was renovating their house—and killed her.”

Can we get more cynical?

Two thirtysomethings behind me at the supermarket checkout line:

“So, what’s your new job, exactly?”

“Well, as a manager, I rationalize processes and downsize for more efficiency.”

“… Like, you fire people?”

“Yeah. I mean, they won’t mind in the long run. Their job was meaningless and alienating, anyway.”

A trust issue

At the Sunday market, two policemen stroll around the stalls, warning customers about potential pickpockets.

“Ma’am… MA’AM! You have to pay attention to your bag. Look, I touched it and you didn’t even react.”

“I’m scared of the police, I can deal with pickpockets. Leave me alone.”

Thinking under the influence

A guy in a bar, talking to his friend:

“I screwed up last night.”

“What happened?”

“I drank too much…”

“… we’ve all been there!”

“Nah, but I was so drunk I told her I loved her.”

“Oh, shit!”