“No! I’m staging!”
“Staging! Mark got a reply from Santa, the mail has just arrived. So I’m taping a piece of chocolate to it because everybody knows that Santa delivers chocolate. After all, the Advent Calendar has a piece of chocolate for each day, right? And I’m going to put the letter in the junk mail mailbox on the porch, it’s going to be too dark to have him get it from the actual community mailbox across the street.”
Feng sighed. Yeah, I like to make things complicated.
But I’m trying to build Christmas traditions here!
I scored with the Advent Calendar this year. Mark loves it. Every day, I have him find the right number (we are several days late but never mind) and he is looking forward to opening the next one. Every day, he hopes for a bigger piece of chocolate, which I find hilarious considering it’s pretty obvious what kind of Kinder chocolate he gets based on the size of the “door”—it’s a mix of mini eggs, Schoko-Bons, Kinder bar and an actual Kinder egg on the 24th. So to Mark’s amazement, I can accurately predict when he gets a Kinder bar (his favorite) because duh, the door is shaped like a bar.
When I picked up Mark from daycare, I started to build up expectations.
“Remember the Santa letter you put in the mailbox?”
“I don’t want my jacket.”
“It’s cold outside. So, do you remember the letter?”
“I didn’t pee in my pants!”
“That’s… great. The letter? Santa?”
“Santa brings toys.”
“Yes. And… he replies to letters.”
“No, he brings toys. I want a Santa chocolate!”
Okay, maybe we will have the moment once home.
I had Mark retrieve the letter from the mailbox.
He spotted the chocolate taped to it right away.
“I want it.”
“Yes. But shall we open the letter?”
“I open the chocolate. No I can’t. Mommy do it!”
Okay, maybe the chocolate was a mistake.
“Is the letter for me? Can you read that?”
“No, mine. M-A-R-K. Mark. For me.”
I cut the envelope open and let Mark pull out the letter.
He was amazed.
For about two seconds.
He checked the back of the letter.
“It’s not a book, Mark, it’s a letter.”
He checked inside the envelope.
“This is it, Mark. IT IS A LETTER. The envelope is empty. The LETTER is here.”
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BEAUTIFUL MOTHER-AND-SON MOMENT?
“I want to watch TV now.”
Fuck the 21st century, tablets, movies on demand and Minions.
I’m going to use the old parenting trick of “okay, let’s drop it now and come back to it later…”
After all, on the first day of the Advent Calendar, I had to fight with Mark who wanted to open it all at once.
Everything takes time. And energy.
On behalf of me, thank you Santa, that was cool! I liked the letter.