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Signs That Maybe, Possibly, One Day, If We Are All Super Nice, Spring Will Come and Stay

Downtown Ottawa, March 2016
Downtown Ottawa, March 2016

It’s this time of the year again, when most of the Northern hemisphere is enjoying early spring while I stare at the snow piles left behind and angrily mutter “melt, melt, MELT!”

We will get there, eventually, but the setbacks along the way are exhausting: one day it’s 5°C and sunny, the next day it’s back to -10°C and windy. The snow melts… and then it snows again.

Canadian spring is an indecisive teenager who plays on your nerves.

Yet there are signs that, that maybe, possibly, one day, if we are all super nice, spring will come and stay. For instance…

  • Patches of snow melted, revealing long-lost remains of civilization circa December 2015—recycling bins, backyard toys, benches and sidewalks are among the artifacts found.
  • In a bold, optimistic move, we sprung forward and switched to summer time. Like Journey sang, “don’t stop, believin'”…
  • Clothing stores all introduced the latest spring collection and you can trade your winter boots for a sexy denim shorts—as long as you stay inside the changing room, that is, because winter clothing is still very much needed if you want to survive outside.
  • The Canadian middle class no long plans trips down South to Florida, Punta Cana or Cuba, but considers reopening the cottage for the upcoming patio season.
  • The skunks are back. They still stink.
  • The USA calls it “spring break”, in Canada it’s modestly and plainly called “March break”. Still, it’s kind of spring holiday, right?
  • You work on your balance when you walk around because under the usual fluffy snow, there is a stubborn layer of slippery ice as deceiving as your gross salary.
  • I heard the words “hockey playoff” and I know for a fact the yearly event takes place in the spring (and that Canadian teams suck this year).
  • Same goes with Tim Hortons’ “Roll Up the Rim to Win” contest that is launched towards the end of winter. It never takes place in the dead of winter because it would be too hard to roll up the rim with frozen fingers and gloves.
  • Winter boots are on sale.
  • Dairy Queen reopened for the season.

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