
Santa Came on December 16—And This Is Why
This year, Christmas started with a lie. I went off script.
This year, Christmas started with a lie. I went off script.
I spent most of September and October working on a very long assignment I’d call the “Inuit project”. “The who?” my mom asked when I mentioned the workload that was keeping me awake until ungodly hours.
Today, Canada has become the second country in the world where recreational marijuana is legal on a national level.
In Canada, exercising is considered a requirement of responsible adulthood, much like flossing, eating your food guide serving of veggies and getting enough sleep.
Ottawa’s 12th homicide of the year occurred on September 20 at 3:20 p.m. on Caldwell Avenue, 800 metres from where we live.
I keep on thinking about that strange night and my reaction. At what point are you supposed to call the police or call for help? Have you ever dialled 911?
I will add this moment to my long list of #facepalm #innocentmoments. Phew.
Before writing this article, I wanted to calm down and step back. I wanted the experience to be over and behind us for good. But I don’t know if it’s over and I’m still angry, so maybe writing will help, after all.
Monday morning, 9 a.m. There are a hundred of places where I’d rather be but it’s too late, Feng is already parking.
In the weeks leading up to Remembrance Day, don’t be surprised to see red poppies brightening up dark and bulky winter clothing.
I thought getting the flu shot was going to be easy. By mid-October, the theme was Halloween monsters/flu shots soon available in any pharmacy near you.
I will leave political analysis to the experts. Meanwhile, in Ottawa…
See Mark, you’re the reason why I’m voting today. Remember the guy you found scary on TV? That’s Stephen Harper. I find him scary too. So today, I’m going to try to make him go away. Like when we chase bad dreams away in your room.
I’m paranoid that some journalist reporting on the federal campaign will snap a candid shot of “supporters around the Conservative HQ” or “pedestrian walking by the Conservative candidate campaign office” and that I, the innocent passerby, will be featured in it.
The federal elections are coming up and I still don’t know who I’m going to vote for. I have become this indecisive voter—a strange position for someone who believes in the democratic system, politics in general, and who chose to become a Canadian citizen to be able to vote.
I’m car watching the same way I would be people watching if I was sitting at the terrace of a busy café somewhere in Europe. Instead of checking out people’s shoes, I look at bumpers and plates.
“Don’t worry, he is friendly!” Oh, really? He could be made of gold and be…
So why are the Conservatives stalling the implementation of a proper daycare system? Because it’s easier to play the guilt card: it’s not right when “parents are forced to have other people raise their children”. Someone, please, explain the Conservatives that daycare services are not a fucking alien abduction.
Mark, Feng and I were in the car, heading downtown, when we heard something about a lockdown, a gunman and a soldier shot on the radio. “Where? Here? In Ottawa?” I said incredulously. We turned the volume up and I grabbed my phone for the latest news.
It’s June, and it’s garage sale season. I wrote about this very popular Canadian activity before but until last weekend, I had never participated in a garage sale. Oh, and did I mention I am the lousiest salesperson on earth?
I discovered a lot of weird programs, like Hoarders, Toddlers & Tiaras, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, My Strange Addiction, Tattoo Nightmare, Cops, Jail and all the “judge” shows in the afternoon.
The trashier the better. I am not sure why I take comfort in watching people suing each other’s, drunks getting booked into the local county jail, living rooms jam-packed with crap or dysfunctional families arguing over the dinner table—but I do.
Angélique and Tinlun are a skilled couple, but they are quick to point out that their two cats are doing most of the coding work. Yet, on top of keeping busy with freelancing assignments and contract work, they found the time to develop their own videogame—Pop’n’Spawn was recently released, and it’s addictive!
Marriage fraud is in the news again, with a recent announcement by Immigration and Multiculturalism Minister Jason Kenney that aims at tightening the rules for sponsorships.
My plan A was Goodlife Fitness, a gym with several locations in Ottawa. The membership fee being one of my main criteria, I went online to see how much it was. Surprise surprise, the fees were nowhere to be found. Instead, those interested in joining Goodlife where asked to provide their info to be contacted about plan rates.