Talk To Your Kid About Sex, It’s Important and Fun!

Ottawa, April 2022
Ottawa, April 2022

“Mommy, are you going to let me go to puberty?”

“I hadn’t realized it was optional.”

“At school! Health classes!”

“Makes way more sense. Wait, I think I got an email about that today…”

I found it buried under subsequent, inconsequential messages from the school, my top spammer. Unless the sender is a teacher and the matter calls for immediate attention—e.g. Mark poked a friend with a ruler, could I please have a conversation with him regarding appropriate school behaviour—I usually glance at the principal’s updates and news in the evening before clicking on the delete button.

There it was, just under “Pizza Announcement, Long Time No See”—seriously, this was the subject line—“We are fortunate that School Council will organize and provide our families with pizza options for the rest of this school year.”

(I should volunteer as a proofreader. Is it me or does it sound like they will organize families with pizza options?)

“The sixth wave must be over, you’re getting pizza plus Human Development and Sexual Health Education! Why would I exempt you? You already know pretty much everything.”

He does, indeed. All is revealed. We had The Talk.

“Did the teacher explain what the class was about?”

“She said we were going to talk about hair.”

“Stop whispering in my ear, I swear Daddy can’t hear us. And hair, really? This is like… the least interesting part of puberty.”

“What’s the interesting part?”

“Boyfriends, girlfriends, growing up… just not body hair.”

“Many of my friends don’t know anything and they were super embarrassed.”

“This is where face masks come in handy, I suppose.”

Mark used to be embarrassed as well. I knew that he knew, and he knew that I knew that he knew, but I was waiting for him to be ready for The Talk, and maybe for the right moment too.

The moment came during a walk on a beach in Brazil. I explained everything, confirming what he suspected and setting the record straight because at recess, nine-year-old kids do talk about what they find online when they feel curious.  

“Look, if you have any other questions, don’t hesitate.”

Message received. This is what parenting books don’t tell you—talking about sex with your kid isn’t a slightly awkward, planned and rehearsed thirty-minute speech and a checkmark (no pun intended) on your list but a fun, ongoing conversation.

I know size doesn’t matter but sexuality is a big concept, so Mark has many, many follow-up questions and I had to explain Feng why he is suddenly so eager to go for long walks with me.

So far, we’ve talked about babies, from the placenta to breastfeeding, from C-sections to natural birth—my neighbour just had a baby girl Mark met when she was just four days old. We talked about menstruation following some school drama about tampons (girls were talking about it, and clueless guys were making fun of something they didn’t know existed but sounded funny). We talked about erections, masturbation, and porn. We talked about contraception, homosexuality, and more.

“Don’t forget you can ask daddy questions as well—he probably knows more than me about penises…”

Mind you, Mark comes to me when he wants to know what this or that means in Chinese, so I’m not sure he understands the concept of a subject-matter expert.

Indeed, don’t let the French accent fool you—I’m not that knowledgeable about sex. However, I know what I want to teach Mark. I have key messages. In private, anything goes between two consenting adults. It’s important to know how your body works and there’s nothing to be ashamed about sexual feelings or sex organs. Nudity isn’t inherently sexual. It’s your body, your choice, your partner’s body, their choice. There are no stupid questions and knowledge is power.

I hope Mark will be a respectful and fun partner, whoever he chooses to explore sexuality and build a good relationship with.

I’m proud that he trusts me to give him a kid-friendly introduction to this important part of life.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to Google how dolphins do it because like Mark, I just can picture it.

♥ Curiosity makes for good stories.

Stories from the road and beyond.

Juliette

Writer and translator. Mostly elsewhere.

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