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Things That Freak Me Out

Flower Power
Flower Power

Don’t people sometimes freak you out? Or some situations maybe? Here is my top list… Feel free to add your personal pet peeves. And yes, in case you wonder, I had a bay day.

People who quote from a religious book: I’m sorry. As much as I respect your religion, I just don’t understand why some people quote from the Bible, the Koran, the Old Testament (or the new one for that matters) for what seems no reason. If a politicians speaks on T.V, I do not want to hear you say: “For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.” (John 3:17… not that I would know). And when Bush, commenting about Iraq, said: “in the words of the prophet Isaiah, “To the captives, ‘come out,’ — and to those in darkness, ‘be free.‘” — I really freaked out.

Medical commercials on U.S television: I know your health system suck. Sorry about that. But do you really need to advertise all these freaky drugs on national T.V during prime time? I’m sick and tired of hearing about Viagra, incontinence or weight loss drugs when I’m eating diner. There just isn’t a good way present your products, no matter how many metaphors you use: “ED” (erectile dysfunction), “Love Life Again” (get it hard, finally), “miracle diet pill” (take a placebo pill and eat less) or “it’s time for an honest voice” (get out and exercise, lazy ass!). Not to mention the freaky side effects, usually muttered very fast at the end of the commercial: “During sexual activity, if you become dizzy or nauseated, or have pain, numbness, or tingling in your chest, arms, neck, or jaw, stop and call your doctor right away“. Really, right away? But I’m in the middle of… nevermind.

Arguments in the bus: Repeat after me — starting an argument in the bus will get you nowhere, especially not home. Think about it for a second. In a bus, you have: 1) People squeezed in a very tight space 2) all tired and eager to be home 3) a generally moody bus driver. It’s an axiom to remember. Someone complains quietly about being squeezed, next person says louder he can’t move because two punks sat on the priority seats, the two guys say they sit there because the bus driver told everybody to move to the back, everyone agrees the bus driver is driving like a maniac and approaching sharp bends like a Formula 1, woman with a stroller says she fears for her baby’s life, bus driver hears and threatens to stop the bus and call security etc etc etc. The only good way to get out of an argument in the bus is to not start one. Believe me.

Health advices in the news: it seems that everyday, scientists are discovering a new health threat. Eating. Not eating. Sleeping. Not sleeping. Water. The sun. Infinitesimal quantity of something in something. Common behavior (i.e drinking from a plastic bottle, jogging, sitting at a desk) is now linked to the development of some fatal disease. And this is reported on prime-time news, with many footages of doctors in white coats talking seriously and handing out statistics on spreadsheets. Yet, we have never been healthier… go figure. Meanwhile, a lot of people are worrying sick that they might catch a disease they don’t know yet about.

Bumper sticker: it’s not the stickers themselves but the message they carry. So far, I have yet to see a sticker that isn’t racist, fundamentalist, extremist or sexist. Lately, I spotted “I have the dick, so I make the rules“, “God said it, I believe, that settles it!” and “diapers are disposable, babies are not, stop abortion“. That pretty much proves my point… doesn’t it? Besides, I don’t see how a small piece of paper is going to make me change my mind about a political candidate or a philosophy. The only thing I do when I see a despicable bumper ticket is to park as far as the car and the owner as I can. Not pray. No buy a Bible. Not reconsider my left-wing borderline socialist beliefs.

I promise I’ll be in a better mood tomorrow (and note that my mood has nothing to do with any of the above!)

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