The default Brazilian swimsuit is a bikini and 99% of them are thong bikinis. Nipples are properly covered but beaches are a festival of naked butts of all shapes and sizes—big or small, white or tan, toned or not. This body part women love to hate is exposed for everyone to see and after a while, you just don’t even pay attention anymore.

There’s nothing inherently sexual about nudity. Trust me, guys at the beach don’t spend their time staring at asses.

They have better things to do, anyway—futebol or futvôlei with a twist. This popular beach game is called “altinha.” Players stand in a circle and throw the ball at each other using feet, head, shoulders or whatever without letting it fall to the ground.

There were plenty of altinha games going on on Praia do Matadeiro last Sunday. Mark was swimming in shallow water, Feng was watching players and I left for a walk.

Praia do Matadeiro is lovely but small and I didn’t feel like walking on Praia da Armação just next to it like I did a few days earlier on a stormy day, so I decided to see if I could hike across the hill at the far end of the beach.

There was a trail and a sign to “Lagoinha do Leste.” Sure, why not?

Ten minutes later, I was in the middle of the jungle. Twenty minutes later, I had seen a giant spider, a snake as well as exotic trees and plants I didn’t even know existed. Oh, by the way, I was wearing a bikini and Havaianas, so not exactly proper hiking gear. But hey, at least I had shoes! I bumped into a few other hikers, all barefoot.

I ended up turning around when the trail became dangerously muddy and narrow and… oh, great, another giant spider.

From now, my rule will be “if you can’t name bugs and flowers around you, wear proper shoes.”

I walked back to the beach and watched a few altinhas games tanning my butt like everybody else. Much safer.