I sure hope that the “Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything” isn’t 42, but “WHAT?”, because this has been Mark’s answer to everything for a couple of months now.

I worry about his hearing, but it’s fine—blame a headset permanently glued to his head.

Lately, his parents are just those annoying people he’s forced to live with, and all this doesn’t help communication much.

“What did you do today?”

“WHAT?”

“Do you want to eat?”

“WHAT?”

“‘What’ ain’t no country I’ve ever heard of. They speak English in What?” Feng mutters under his breath. “Say ‘what’ again. Say ‘what’ again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!” I invariably go on.

The “what” thingy is contagious too. I bumped into Mark and one of his friends on their way home from school while I was heading to the gym.

“Hey guys! Back from school?”

They both looked up from the friend’s phone and went, “WHAT?”

Sigh.

And since we’re at it, what the hell does “I don’t know” mean?

This is Mark’s favourite sentence after three “WHAT??”—perfectly acceptable when you’re asking a grown-up for guidance, but much less understandable if your parent asks you whether you’ve already taken a shower.

Watching Mark’s teenage years unfold made me realize how different things were when I was growing up in France.

I’ve never been a Canadian teen, but I was a French teen for a few years—please don’t ask for proof or pictures. Here are the main differences I can see between rebellious 12-to-18-year-olds on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean.

No wheels for French teens

As of January 2024, you must be 17 years of age or older to drive in France—it was 18 before. Meanwhile, in Ontario, 16-year-old kids can drive themselves to Tim Hortons.

Freedom comes early in Ontario, but in France it takes a longer—and costs a lot more. Getting a driver’s licence in France is a hell of a lot harder and more expensive than in Canada. Outside of rural areas, French teens are also less likely to have access to a car, while in Ontario, 72% of households own two or more vehicles.

On the other hand, 14- and 16-year-old French kids can drive small motorcycles and mopeds. These are very common in French cities, although not as much as in Southeast Asia. But a young teen driving an SUV? Not likely in France.

Jobs? French teens don’t do those

French teens mostly focus on school—few have jobs. Canadian teens, meanwhile, seem to start working the moment they can, whether paid or for school credits.

Technically, French teens are allowed to work. But in real life, school days are longer than in Canada, and few employers are willing to accept résumés from anyone under 18—especially since unemployment is high and plenty of older jobseekers are already competing for minimum-wage positions.

Cash, not credit—the French teen economy

Mark loves sharing stories of Jason, John, or James who stole their parents’ credit cards to buy Minecraft stuff. Meanwhile, French teens are still looking for cash in their parents’ pockets—because guess what, the French don’t have credit cards.

France isn’t exactly a cash-only society—it’s just that North American–style credit cards with massive limits don’t exist. French banks offer Visa- or MasterCard-branded debit cards with a small overdraft facility set at an agreed limit—and it’s never in the tens of thousands like on your average Canadian credit card.

I guess French teens could steal their parents’ bank card to buy stuff online, but chances are a notification would be sent to the banking app, and unexpected expenses would be caught more easily.

Pass the wine—family drinking, French style

Alcohol is taboo on one side of the Atlantic, but practically a family tradition on the other. “Let’s open that bottle as soon as the kids are sleeping!” Canadian parents suggest, while French parents are happily getting drunk en famille.

Many French kids take their first sip of wine or beer with their parents—hell, wine and cider weren’t entirely banned from school lunches (!) until 1981. Meanwhile, in Canada, cannabis is legal if you’re over 19 so yeah, different cultures, different taboos.

It’s worth pointing out that the legal drinking age in France is 18 years for all types of alcoholic beverages, just a year younger than the legal drinking age of 19 in Ontario and most of Canada. However, France is a lot more lenient when it comes to alcohol. Technically, kids under the age of 16 can’t enter a bar or café serving alcohol unless accompanied by a parent, but I have yet to see it enforced (and by the way, with their parents, they can legally drink). C’est culturel, they say…

Canadian and French teens meet somewhere, though—they both think their parents are weird and annoying.