I was introduced to Chinese massages by Ning, my boss in Hong Kong. Now, don’t go picturing inappropriate work incentives—Ning may have paid me a ridiculous wage and asked me to work all weekend way too often, but he wasn’t this kind of man. Besides, he was anything but attractive to me. He was in his fifties, bald, and he tucked his shirt into his pants. He was also married to Jojo, my very bitchy manager. All that also somehow explains why when Ning asked me to come with him for a massage, I didn’t bat an eyelash.
We were on a business trip in Shenzhen, the first Chinese city across the border. The entire weekend had been kind of crazy—I had just discovered we would be sleeping at the Shenzhen small office instead of at the hotel (and by “at the office,” I mean we literally ended up sleeping on the sofa in the reception area) and I had been introduced to about 50 people over a dinner featuring Cantonese delicacies like pig intestines and chicken feet.
After the culinary experience mentioned above, Ning and I had rushed into a taxi. It was close to midnight and I thought we were heading back to the office/hotel. But we stopped in front of a tall building.
“Relax time,” Ning sighed.
I paused for a split second, shrugged and followed him.
Don’t judge—I was 18 and didn’t speak much English, let alone Hong Kong “English.”
We were greeted at the front of the building by two Chinese women who fussed around us. One led Ning away and the other one motioned me to a different door which opened on a small bathroom with a shower.
“Please, take off your clothes and make yourself comfortable.”
“Great,” I thought, “Ning actually sold me to a pimp. I guess I should have finished the report that was due two weeks ago…”
Yet, I did what I was told. I took off my clothes and took a warm shower. I changed into the loose cotton clothes that were provided and waited at the door. Soon enough, the woman came back and led me to another room, where I found my boss similarly dressed and already lying on a massage table.
A light bulb switched in my head. Massage? Fully clothed? Sure!
A couple of minutes later, Ning started snoring and I was being massaged by two guys. “Quite surreal,” I thought, “but nice….” The massage itself lasted for a couple of hours but we ended up spending most of the night in the facilities. After the massage, we relaxed for a while in comfortable chairs sipping cold tea and smoking cigarettes (well, at least, I did. Ning was still sleeping). And then, I had a foot massage, followed by more tea and cigarettes. Best corporate meeting ever.
And this is how I was introduced to Chinese massages. In fact, I became quite addicted to them. I book a massage once in a while in Canada, but it’s a rare treat, as they tend to be the Spa kind… so I figured I’d get one in Beijing, where they are much cheaper.
A few days after we arrived, I found my way to a small Spa near the Worker Stadium in Dongzhimen—Bodhi (not a chinglish name!). It was well past 8 p.m., a perfect time for massage in China—most places open late, and unlike in the West, it is common to book pampering time after sunset.
I climbed a few steps and walked to the reception. The lights were dim, the voices were soft and hushed, and four Chinese women wearing traditional qipao were fussing over clients.
“Massage?”
“Yes.”
“Follow me.”
I was led to a small room at the end of a hallway. She closed the door behind me. Clean clothes were on the chair as well as a pair of slippers. I changed, hoping the Chinese-sized clothes would fit, and lay on my stomach on the massage table. Candles gave the room a warm yellow glow.
I yawned. Long day.
The tradition is to be massaged by the opposite sex and so a few second later, my masseur entered the room. I asked for a traditional Chinese massage, hoping to live the Hong Kong experience again. I closed my eyes and started to relax.
If you’ve ever had a massage in North America, you probably remember that the message is “your well-being and comfort come first.” You fill up a sheet with your medical history and must mention any condition that may affect your experience. You’re sometimes asked to circle the body parts to focus on an anatomy chart. The masseur will then double-check and ask questions like “is that okay if I massage your lower back/ neck, etc.?” And you are strongly encouraged to let the masseur know if anything makes you feel uncomfortable or hurts. In short, you’re in control and massages are very gentle since most people want to relax.
Well, let me tell you, traditional Chinese massages are quite different. A minute after closing my eyes, the masseur was kneeling on my butt, then he twisted my left arm in a way I didn’t think it could or should be twisted. He then proceeded to pinch my back (I didn’t even know I had fat in that part of my body!) and pull my fingers. Almost simultaneously, he stretched my back, my legs and pull my ears. He pressed, he tapped, he kneaded, he stroked. My eyes stayed closed but I didn’t exactly fall asleep.
The whole experience was surprising, to say the least, but I wasn’t in pain. I could feel my blood flowing throughout my body. It was… invigorating. An hour later, I left feeling light and happy. “How can such a rough massage achieve that?” I wondered.
I went back for another traditional massage before we left. This time, it wasn’t in a Spa but in a small hutong behind the hostel. The masseur was waiting outside. He was a young guy from Hunan who didn’t like Beijing that much because it was crowded and it didn’t have mountains and lakes, geographical features that Hunan apparently had. He gasped when I told him how much massages cost in Canada. He massaged me with as much zeal as the previous time but I was expecting it and enjoy it thoroughly. I walked out feeling wonderful, as if on drugs.
I haven’t had a massage since I came back to Ottawa. I’m not sure I want a “western-style” massage… and they also cost around $70, while in Beijing my two massages averaged $15. I may have to go to Chinatown for my fix. It’s pure masochism, but I like it rough now.
I love massages! At my previous job I would indulge myself with expensive massages, with massage therapists that would actually questions about my wealth and my preference.
I love Swedish massage…I need to be fixed, not to be rubbed.
Then I went to a cheaper massage place, which was relevatively good but they never asked any health questions. I haven’t had a massage for ages but I don’t know if I should go back or not.
I need a strong man who can do the job properly. Lol.
My last professional massage was an hour long one last January for my birthday. I LOVE massages. I can get the hubby to rub some lotion on my back now & then.
teehee! It sounds…painful! I am apparently good at giving (amateur) massages but when it comes to someone else massaging me I find it near impossible not to laugh and push their hands away! It’s just too tickly!
Great site layout! Very dynamic.
As for massage, it’s…okay.
Hi Zhu!
In this multi-racial country that I live, there are malay, indian and chinese massage available here. I’ve tried chinese massage once or twice before but the experience was far different from what you’ve written, not as good. Your post is tempting me to go for a massage 🙂
heeh Zhu,
I see that you’re really having an adventure,just wondering how you’re doing, did you accept the job?
Many good greetings , wishing I saw you on my blog, you’re INVITED to a visit on my DUTCH/English blog, BYE! 🙂
(see my blog: http://www.joannwalraven.blogspot.com)
If I only get to walk from the plane to the massage room in Beijing, it will be well worth the trip after what you’ve described here. This post made me laugh and ultimately, relax.
Let’s hear it for rough massages that leave you walking like you’re on drugs. Woo-hoo!
Several months ago I had a massage here in Las Vegas. Lucky for me, I did not pick up the tab – it was $199! Oh for great $15 massages! Lucky girl (even at $70)!
This post reminded me of a joke I read:
Masseur: Is the pressure okay?
Client: How will I know if it’s not “okay”?
Masseur: If you see dead relatives beckoning you toward a bright light, that would be one clue..haha!
And then there’s another one for the “like an SM girl” where the massage therapist says, “Let me know if that’s too much pressure. I don’t want to torture you. That would be an added charge”..LOL
I haven’t had a good massage, ever, but I heard of a lot of people that enjoy them like you 🙂
ha ha……I am sure it must have been an experience 🙂
But you are tired/ dead or not but Massage is the best thing in the World………..Ahhhh!
i love your stories, zhu! you have a great sense of humor about yourself and your adventures.
i’ve had a regular masseuse for almost three years. it’s not rough, and i don’t have to fill out forms or questionaires. we talk until she gets to my feet- then i close my eyes and call it my ‘vacation.’
Hmmm…interesting! Haven’t tried a traditional massage when I was in Beijing. For some reason, I always get a little confused by the comments section of your blog…when I can’t see the comment I just submitted because it goes into another page. 🙂
Massage is… painful indulgence, LOL…
Have tried Chinese, Thai and Balinese massage. Personally prefer the Thai techniques. The masseuses use not just hands, but elbows, legs and knees.
It is often said that men do massage better since they are stronger. However, Thai masseuses are actually comparable to Balinese masseurs.
Yo Zhu, you are very brave. I can never attempt a massage session whenever I travelled to China, Thailand or even back home here in Singapore.
It would be too ticklist for me and hats off to you 🙂 I do hear that it is very therapeutic and can see why my friends are going for body & foot massages all the time.
@Bluefish – You know what, even with a strong man, I think I’d still pay for professional massage! I just wish they were more affordable.
@Spyder – Oh lucky you! My birthday is only in March though… don’t think I can wait!
@princesse ecossaise – I’m not too ticklish so I’m lucky. It’s weird at first I guess but soooo relaxing…
@Brad – Thank you!
@zunnur – Oh man, I’m moving there! Here in Canada there are mostly Swedish massage…
@JoAnn’s D Eyes – Hi there, doing well! Thanks for the visit, I’ll make sure I stop by.
@Scarlet – Well, once you make it to Beijing, a massage is all you want for sure. If airlines could be more uncomfortable…!
@Diane Scott – Ouch, that’s expensive! Maybe it’s a Vegas thing… it’s not that bad in Ottawa.
@Celine – Love these jokes and yes, they certainly apply to Chinese massage! 😆
@Aiglee – You should try one day, I have yet to hear someone who doesn’t like massage.
@Annie – Definitely. Or at least, the cheap equivalent: a man rubbing your back 😉
@Seraphine – Oh, so you’re a feet massage person… sorry, it just makes me think of the Pulp Fiction line (have you seen the movie?) where they discuss whether a feet massage is sexual or not. 😆
@Shantanu – That’s weird… I don’t see anything with the comments. I’m going to play around see if I can spot the mistake.
@Khengsiong – I have heard really good things about Thai massage, I have to try sometimes. Unfortunately, they are usually more expensive than the regular ones in Canada…
@shionge – Oh, that’s too bad! I’m not too ticklish, I guess I’m lucky. What is your favorite relaxation trick then?
Hey Zhu,
Was your boss trying to save some corporate money, or what? What’s up with sleeping at the office?
“Cantonese dinner (pig intestines and chicken feet)” – it is not totally unheard of. In some cultures in Africa they also eat chicken feet (HELL NO!) and use it for witchcraft too. I don’t eat pork let alone pig intestines; but hey, here in Portugal there is a plate done with pig intestines and its blood…nasty stuff *nodding*…
Girl, massaged by two men in full clothes? Now, that’s what I call full service LOL…
Seriously, you had a really nice time back then! But young lady…those ciggies will kill you one day! Anyway, continuing…
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL great description of a massage – reminded me the ones my granny gives me!! LOL LOL LOL but in the end it feels rather good!
Excellent post, cherie! Excellent!
Cheers
Oh, I love stories like these. And you tell it so well. (I just love this blog!!!) One of my favorite things about some Asian airports (Sri Lanka, the old BKK airport, etc.) is that you can get a massage while waiting for your flight. Genius! And it’s dirt cheap.
I was LOL about the part when you you were wondering if your boss had sold you to a pimp… I really do know the feeling. I had similar experiences in Thailand and in India, on the one hand the massage was so damn relaxing, on the other hand it was a bit hard to be relaxed when my clothes, shoes and purse were in the care of a total stranger…
Chinese massage use a lot oil on your body. In chinese they call it “Tui Na”. I am addicted to massage and have it at least twice a month.
Thomas of
Haha! I just had my Chinese massage today! You are right on the money about the roughness! I hadn’t realized that men usually massaged women and vice versa. In the bathhouses it is the same sex who gives the massages, so I guess I made a mistake when I hit the spa today.
Hi there! Came across your site as I was surfing the web for random information on Beijing, as I will be moving there later in the week.
I live in Ottawa as well, which is a coincidence. I spent a while looking around your site, cool stuff! Take care of yourself!
Thank you! I hope you will enjoy your stay in Beijing. It’s my favorite city in China, so much to see and to experience! Keep in touch if you need more information.
Zhu, did you find one in Ottawa? Have just come back from a similarly painful massage in Japan and don’t ever want another wimpy disappointing western massage again! Congrats on gorgeous baby mark 🙂
Hi Anne,
Sorry, I could never find a good massage in Ottawa! And I tried, and I tried… and massages are so expensive here too 🙁