La Baule is probably the only city I know where “Tenue correcte exigée” signs are posted on the beach and in town.

Understandably, you may not speak French fluently. You may be one of these international jet-setters La Baule is happy to welcome, flying straight from New York, Miami or Dubai. In this case, don’t worry, a thoughtful city official grabbed a dusty English dictionary—or more likely used Google Translate—and added “Well dressed required” just below “Tenue correcte exigée.”

I know. Maybe La Baule should have splurged on a human translator. We make a lot more sense than Google Translate.

In France, “Tenue correcte exigée” is nightclub lingo for “smart casual.” Typically, it means that the bouncer won’t let you in if you’re wearing sportswear (and if you’re Black, from Northern Africa, etc., because racist door policies are still a thing, but that’s another story).

In La Baule, “well dress required” means you have to wear a t-shirt and shorts/pants if you’re not on the sand. I hope locals never go to Brazil, where it’s perfectly acceptable to go to the supermarket in your thong bikini…

“Put a t-shirt on!” the city police remind everyone on the seaside walkway. Mark is happy to oblige—”It’s a €150 fine!”

I’m walking on eggshells—or rather on seashells—in La Baule. This is not my world, and they are not my people. It’s a posh town full of old money and old people who wish things would stay just like “back in the days,” and I’m pretty sure “the good ole days” are somewhere between the slave trade and the colonies for them.

Old money has kids, many of them because God said so, and teens parade around in fancy cars. Just like their parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and earlier generations, they owe the place.

Anything can offend the locals, and you can’t afford to offend the locals because they have the mayor on speed dial.

But La Baule is one of the closest beaches to Nantes, and it’s 50 minutes away by train, so locals have learned to live with colourful intruders like us.

“They just stay home during summer,” a cop told me in confidence between two “put a t-shirt on!”

He didn’t exactly look happy in his job. I don’t think he signed up for this…