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I look older. I can see it. I find hair that’s not bleached by the sun but definitely white. I lost my baby fat and a bit of my innocence, which translates into “shit, I look bitchy!”

It’s a trade off because meanwhile, I gained experience and insights. At 35, I know what makes me happy—this is pretty cool, it’s like finding your G spot for life. So when life is made of compromises and occasional disappointments, I’m not wandering around hoping to find something I like, something I’m good at, something rewarding, a meaning to all of this.

I kind of know what I’m doing.

I kind of know what I’m looking for.

I’m kind of hoping to find it.

Now I can ask myself the real questions:

  • Is it okay to live in jeans/ t-shirts and shorts/ tank tops at 35?
  • Can I just give up on trying to apply eyeliner?
  • Does it matter if there are many Internet memes I really don’t get?
  • Should I be ashamed of the fact I’m seen wearing the exact same clothes years apart on pictures?

I’ll report back with answers next year.

Or not.

Ottawa, March 20, 2018

Ottawa, March 20, 2018

Ottawa, March 20, 2018


About Author

French woman in English Canada. World citizen, new mom, traveler, translator, writer and photographer. Looking for comrades to start a new revolution.


  1. Happy Birthday!! Jeans are for everyone. Viral memes and videos come and go so fast that even if you don’t know “everyone” is talking about today, it doesn’t matter because it’ll be something else tomorrow. That’s what I tell myself!
    Hope you’re having a great day.

      • Martin Penwald on

        Oh non, t’en a plein de comtés qui s’appellent Ottawa. Pour les villes, c’est possible, ‘faut que je vérifie.

          • Martin Penwald on

            Je viens de regarder, et non, des villes qui s’appellent Ottawa aux États-Unis, il y en a plein (la 1ere page de recherche google m’en donne au moins 5, dans l’Ohio, le Kansas, l’Illinois, le Wisconsin et le Michigan)

  2. Happy birthday, you wonderful land mermaid! (I might have stolen that one from Parks & Rec)…
    I still wear jeans, tops and Converse shoes. I still have no intention of buying a “grown up” closet!

    • THANK YOU! I’m more Doc Martens than Converse but you’d have to pay me to wear shoes that look painful to wear.

      Land mermaid… I like that one 😆

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