I look older. I can see it. I find hair that’s not bleached by the sun but definitely white. I lost my baby fat and a bit of my innocence, which translates into “shit, I look bitchy!”

It’s a trade-off because meanwhile, I gained experience and insights. At 35, I know what makes me happy—this is pretty cool, it’s like finding your G spot for life. So when life is made of compromises and occasional disappointments, I’m not wandering around hoping to find something I like, something I’m good at, something rewarding, a meaning to all of this.

I kind of know what I’m doing.

I kind of know what I’m looking for.

I’m kind of hoping to find it.

Now I can ask myself the real questions:

  • Is it okay to live in jeans/ t-shirts and shorts/ tank tops at 35?
  • Can I just give up on trying to apply eyeliner?
  • Does it matter if there are many Internet memes I really don’t get?
  • Should I be ashamed of the fact I’m seen wearing the exact same clothes years apart on pictures?

I’ll report back with answers next year.

Or not.

Ottawa, March 20, 2018
Ottawa, March 20, 2018
Ottawa, March 20, 2018

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32 Comments

  1. Kiky March 21, 2018 at 12:11 pm

    Selamat ulang tahun ke 35! (How to say it in my language). I started applying eyeliner at age 36! Hahahahah

    Reply
    1. Zhu March 21, 2018 at 10:30 pm

      This is so cool! Doesn’t look like any language I know 🙂

      Reply
  2. Bianca March 21, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    Happy birthday!
    I gave up on eyeliner at 30, no shame whatsoever

    Reply
    1. Zhu March 21, 2018 at 10:31 pm

      I can always do ONE eye. Not two. One.

      *Sigh*

      Reply
      1. Martin Penwald March 23, 2018 at 6:57 pm

        Wear an eye patch.

        Reply
        1. Zhu March 24, 2018 at 1:17 am

          That’s actually a pretty relevant suggestion 😆

          Reply
  3. I Say Oui March 21, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    Happy Birthday!! Jeans are for everyone. Viral memes and videos come and go so fast that even if you don’t know “everyone” is talking about today, it doesn’t matter because it’ll be something else tomorrow. That’s what I tell myself!
    Hope you’re having a great day.

    Reply
    1. Zhu March 21, 2018 at 10:33 pm

      I love your wisdom 🙂

      Reply
  4. Aylyon March 21, 2018 at 10:01 pm

    Happy birthday!
    Who really knows how to apply eyeliner anyway???

    Reply
    1. Zhu March 21, 2018 at 10:34 pm

      The… YouTube people with video tutorials on how to apply eyeliner?!

      Reply
      1. Aylyon March 23, 2018 at 4:39 pm

        Exactly!!!!
        No real people 😀

        Reply
  5. Diane March 22, 2018 at 3:01 am

    Happy BIrthday!!! Hope you have a wonderful day. 😉

    Reply
    1. Zhu March 22, 2018 at 8:03 pm

      Merci!

      Reply
  6. Lynn March 23, 2018 at 12:23 pm

    Happy birthday! I hope it’s a solid YES to all of your questions above, or else I’m really failing at life :).

    Reply
    1. Zhu March 24, 2018 at 1:16 am

      Phew. If we all fail, then we’re not failing, right?!

      Reply
  7. Martin Penwald March 23, 2018 at 7:08 pm

    Bon anniversaire !
    For the answers on Life, Universe and the Rest :
    Yes
    Yes
    No
    No

    Reply
    1. Zhu March 24, 2018 at 1:17 am

      Ben, c’est pas “42”?

      Reply
      1. Martin Penwald March 24, 2018 at 12:38 pm

        On verra dans 7 ans 🙂

        Reply
  8. Martin Penwald March 23, 2018 at 7:14 pm

    Hey, I’m in Ottawa. County. In Kansas.

    Reply
    1. Zhu March 24, 2018 at 1:18 am

      Ah, je crois que j’avais entendu parlé de celui-là! Le seul Ottawa à ma connaissance aux USA, je crois?

      Reply
      1. Martin Penwald March 24, 2018 at 12:38 pm

        Oh non, t’en a plein de comtés qui s’appellent Ottawa. Pour les villes, c’est possible, ‘faut que je vérifie.

        Reply
        1. Zhu March 26, 2018 at 12:44 am

          My mistake! Je ne sais pas pourquoi je nous croyais presque unique.

          Reply
          1. Martin Penwald March 27, 2018 at 4:59 pm

            Je viens de regarder, et non, des villes qui s’appellent Ottawa aux États-Unis, il y en a plein (la 1ere page de recherche google m’en donne au moins 5, dans l’Ohio, le Kansas, l’Illinois, le Wisconsin et le Michigan)

          2. Zhu March 28, 2018 at 2:20 am

            Ah ben ça m’apprendra à snober Google!

  9. Isa March 26, 2018 at 3:32 am

    Happy birthday, you wonderful land mermaid! (I might have stolen that one from Parks & Rec)…
    I still wear jeans, tops and Converse shoes. I still have no intention of buying a “grown up” closet!

    Reply
    1. Zhu March 26, 2018 at 3:33 am

      THANK YOU! I’m more Doc Martens than Converse but you’d have to pay me to wear shoes that look painful to wear.

      Land mermaid… I like that one 😆

      Reply
  10. Lexie March 28, 2018 at 2:22 pm

    Joyeux anniversaire encore! 35 ans est définitivement l’âge de raison 😉

    Reply
    1. Zhu March 29, 2018 at 1:25 am

      J’espère… je ne me sens pas toujours très raisonnable!

      Reply
  11. CHRISTIANE April 3, 2018 at 4:43 am

    Happy very belated birthday!!!
    One year older and wiser 🙂

    Reply
    1. Zhu April 3, 2018 at 11:08 pm

      Older, sure. Wiser… depends 😛

      Reply
      1. CHRISTIANE April 4, 2018 at 3:47 am

        Haha !

        Whoops posted twice lol

        Reply
  12. CHRISTIANE April 4, 2018 at 3:46 am

    Happy very belated birthday!!

    Reply

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