Nantes, spring 2021
Nantes, spring 2021

It’s the calm before the storm.

I’m organizing, booking, calling, scheduling but I’m still in Nantes at my mom’s place, stuck in some kind of somewhat comforting routine with a nagging and now familiar feeling that I’d call “saudade” if I was Brazilian—sorry, I can’t find the right words to describe how much I miss Feng and Mark. Several times a day, at random moments, I turn around and realize once again they aren’t here. It’s a feeling I can manage, we do chat daily on Skype—as a traveller and as an immigrant, I’m used to constantly missing people I love. However, it was pure agony to just not know when, where and how we will be able to be together again.

Well, now I know.   

I’m flying back to Canada—for a few days, just enough time to pick up Mark and bring him to France for the summer. This was plan A. Or B, or C, can’t remember. Bottom line is, Feng is still waiting for his second dose and it’s easier for him to get it in Canada than in France. And I want Mark to have a “normal-ish” French summer, so here I come and off we go.

Frankly, I don’t want to stay longer than necessary in Canada right now. Either I’m here, either I’m there but I can’t be everywhere. Staying for a few weeks would require me to resume my Canadian life and find balance again in a very unbalanced world. “Oh, I see,” Feng said when I explained how I felt. “Yeah, it’s easier to treat Canada as a trip than to commit fully. I get it.”

I mean, it’s hard to resume my Canadian life when life hasn’t resumed quite yet on this side of the Atlantic Ocean.

This may be my quickest cross-Atlantic “trip” ever. I feel like one of these socialites who fly London-New York to pick up a handbag—“what did you do this weekend?” “Oh, not much, the usual transatlantic getaway trip…”

Canada finally announced that fully vaccinated Canadians can skip the mandatory hotel-quarantine as of July 5, 11:59 p.m. “I found a cheap one-way ticket,” Feng emailed me as soon as he heard the news we had been waiting for.

No shit. Planes to Canada are empty, borders have been closed since March 2020. And even as a fully vaccinated traveller, there’s fine print, namely a pre-departure PCR test, a quarantine plan and another PCR test upon arrival. Flying with unvaccinated kids—vaccines have yet to be approved for kids under 12—creates additional hassle since kids have to quarantine for 14 days but vaccinated parents don’t.

We teamed up to buy tickets over an awful Skype connexion—my return to Canada and two round trips for Mark and I. Then I bought train tickets because there are no Montreal-Nantes Air Transat flights, we’re flying Paris-Montreal-Paris with Air Canada. Then I booked my PCR test in Nantes and in Montreal.

I haven’t slept much lately. I’m anxious.

Scratch that, I’m terrified.

We’ve all adapted to so many fast-changing situations over the past 16 months that I welcome status quo, no matter how imperfect and weird it is. France was a status quo and I felt relatively safe—safe because I wasn’t alone, safe because I was pretty confident the country would stick to the reopening plan and avoid further drastic measures, safe because vaccination rollout was overall pretty smooth.

And now everything is changing again—for the better this time but I’m anxious nonetheless.

Over the past few months, with the never-ending Ontario lockdown, Feng and Mark were mostly bored. I can’t say I was bored. France feels deliciously exotic because I haven’t lived there in two decades so it kept me entertained. I learned to cook with French ingredients, I tried new ways of doing things, I sort of lived an alternate life, the “adult in France” life I never had since I left the country at 18 only returning for a month or two at the time. Plus, work kept me busy.

I also realized that I like my life in Canada but if I have to be stuck somewhere, Canada ain’t where I want to be and I can’t fully explain why.

Everything feels unreal. It’s finally happening.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to keep on packing and picture myself in Canada a few hours from now.

Get the latest story, cultural shock and travel pictures right in your inbox

I don't spam, promise.

I literally don't have the time to write ten stories a day.

Visited 30 times, 1 visit(s) today

9 Comments

  1. I Say Oui July 9, 2021 at 8:45 am

    Safe travels! You’re finally doing it!

    I’m curious what you’ve been cooking in France.

    Reply
    1. Zhu July 10, 2021 at 3:14 am

      Made it!

      As for cooking, I’ve been exploring pasta dish 😉 Something I never cook in Canada for many reasons! It’s mostly that I use different ingredients in France. Leeks and asparagus, for instance, both outrageously expensive in Canada. Butter and cheese, fish, etc. for the same reason. I tend to cook Chinese food in Canada.

      Reply
  2. N July 9, 2021 at 12:33 pm

    I thought of you as soon as I heard the news! You’ve become the French-friend-that-I-know-from-her-blog-that-has-been-stuck-in-Brazil-then-France because of the stupid-Canadian-quarantine-for-travelers (that’s a mouthful) 😆 I’m glad you will finally be able to see your men 🙂

    Reply
    1. Zhu July 10, 2021 at 3:15 am

      … that would be me! 😆

      It’s funny, I mostly shared the adventure not for pity or suppirt (although support was appreciated but frankly, there were situations more dire than mine) but because it can (and will) happen to anyone these days. I mean, plenty of people need to leave the country for various reasons, right?

      Reply
  3. Martin Penwald July 9, 2021 at 3:46 pm

    I don’t really know how it works for Alberta, because I was able to get a 1st dose in Montana, and I got the second one this week in Edmonton. I’m not sure I could have a 2nd dose that quick if I had followed Alberta’s schedule.
    It sucks that Feng wasn’t able to get a 2nd dose, I thought that Ontario was doing relatively well.

    Reply
    1. Zhu July 10, 2021 at 3:18 am

      He should get his second dose late July but since I want to maximize Mark’s time in France and he only learned he’d get his dose earlier than planned (originally it was Sept.) after we bought the tickets, well, he will decide afterwards. Traveling is still a hassle on Canada’s side with two COVID tests and fewer flights than usual (all landing in Paris, no Air Transat). Plus he has to find a way to get to Montreal since Greyhound no longer exists. It used to be a quick two-hour bus trip… now he has to rent a car or take the train.

      Reply
  4. Kiky July 12, 2021 at 2:24 am

    Glad you’ll (or probably already by now) meet your boys after almost half semester. But it surprise me, that you don’t miss Otawa! So glad I’ll see Mark cute face again in this blog! 🙂

    Reply
  5. Christiane July 12, 2021 at 4:32 pm

    Travel safe!

    Reply

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *