How am I supposed to explain China to Mark? This worried me a lot before we left—I can’t even explain China to grownups who believe everything they see on YouTube or read in Western newspapers.
But I was up for yet another parenting challenge. After all, I explained the craziest things to Mark over the years, from why letters together make words to what humans like to do when the lights are off. The pandemic may have been my biggest conceptual challenge because we were in the dark but we always managed to answer Mark’s questions.
But Mark didn’t have many questions about China, which may be strange considering he is part Chinese and keeps hearing the Western world complaining about his dad’s birth country. I know it’s not easy to be Jewish, Black or Muslim these days but trust me, it’s not easy to be an overseas Chinese either. Everybody’s got an (often uninformed) opinion about China. And while it wouldn’t be politically correct to say “these crappy Jewish products” or “Black people are so gross,” it seems to be totally fine to say this and more about Chinese.
Feng and I have ties to China, and unlike worldwide corporations, these are not business but emotional ties. Feng grew up in China. I spent 12 years old my life learning the language, culture and history. We met in China. We produced a baby dragon.
And now, a 10-year-old dragon is going to experience major culture shock.
For Mark, China is yéye and năinai constantly feeding him and then telling him he’s fat, our drawers full of chopsticks and a few forks if you look around long enough, fireworks, a few words in Mandarin, fried rice, soy sauce, and dumplings.
I prepared him for the trip when we were in France. We took long walks at night, and I tried my best to explain China, why he wouldn’t be able to access his favourite websites, why China is different politically and why not all Chinese are like my in-laws.
“Wait, what’s communism again? Sorry…”
I explained who Mao Zedong was, why fried rice may be harder to find than it seems (it’s more of a Chinese-American thing!), and why we may be stared at.
When I was memorizing dynasty orders twenty years ago, I had no idea I would one day teach China to my kid.
“I have so many feelings about this trip that it looks like I have none,” Mark told me the day before we left.
As for me, China makes me feel curious, humble, puzzled and excited.
