Drop me off in Rio de Janeiro, Toronto, Buenos Aires, Salvador, Paris, Shenyang—hell, even Montevideo or Floripa—and I’ll load my personal mental GPS, the way I mapped the city, to find my way around again. São Paulo and Beijing are different beasts given their size, but I master some of the territory.

I remember places I explore extensively—just as well, I love exploring. I walk, take note, take the wrong way, find great spots, take pictures, and don’t forget a thing.

Which is why going back to Santiago after a five-year break, half of it pandemic-related, sounded very easy. It would be like visiting an old friend, I thought, when Feng suggested we fly to Chile instead of landing in Brazil.

I spent so much time in Santiago that I visited every single museum, every landmark, every downtown neighbourhood from Bellavista to Vitacura, and then some. Surely, a five-day trip down memory lane was fun. I mean, the last time we were there together we still had a kid in a stroller instead of a teen who thinks everything sucks, starting with us and our life choices.

I found the goddamn Airbnb because I remembered the neighbourhood was cheap and friendly (thank you, Venezuelan immigrants).

I read my own blog posts to get in the mood.

And yet, I felt weirdly disoriented when I first stepped out of the building the taxi dropped us at fifteen minutes earlier, impatient to start walking.

“Wait… I don’t think I ever took this street. I stayed on this side of the Alameda, for sure. But where is the Alameda?”

In Santiago, you go by La Alameda, i.e. the Alameda del Libertador Bernardo O’Higgins, the main east–west avenue. The last time I was there, it was hard to cross because it was on fire, with barricades, Molotov cocktail debris, and empty grenades scattered everywhere.

There were no visible scars left. The protests are long over—Chile has just elected a far-right president.

We found the Alameda. I found my way to Plaza de Armas. Feng found his favourite Chinese restaurants; I found my favourite bakery and a sense of familiarity that almost felt reassuring.

Yet, something was off.

I couldn’t remember where I withdrew money all the time—Scotiabank branches were mysteriously closed. And the food from my favourite empanada place didn’t taste as good as I remembered.

Where were my places? Why didn’t Santiago feel as familiar and comforting as before?

Maybe it was me after all.

A lot happened in the past five years—no need to explain; you’ve been living in this world too if you’re old enough to read this blog.

Santiago changed a bit, for sure. But mostly I changed. Again, the past five years have been a hell of a ride. I lost people, energy, money—hope, sometimes. I no longer worry about whatever worried me in 2019; I have a whole new set of worries now, lucky me. I see the world differently. I see Santiago differently too.

Did Santiago change?

At first glance, not really. Dozens of cats are still sleeping under stalls selling giant fruits and veggies at La Vega Central. Cerro San Cristóbal and Cerro Santa Lucía are still a fun climb for the best views over the sprawling capital and the Andes in the background. Santiago is still obsessed with hot dogs, mote con huesillo (a unique peach nectar), and Chinese food—for the first time ever in Santiago, we had a proper kitchen, so I cooked instead of surviving on empanadas, with the windows open and city noise drifting in (mostly car alarms, dogs barking and Colombian music).

The many newcomers from Colombia and Venezuela who used to sell favourite foods and brands from home out of supermarket carts have now opened proper brick-and-mortar stores. Tons of minimercados now have arepas, fried empanadas, and more from this corner of South America.

I don’t know where all the Haitians are; I barely spotted any (and trust me, you can spot Haitians in Santiago!).

Chile is more expensive than it used to be.

The streets are quieter too, and I didn’t see many tourists.

It felt good to spend four days here (and another one in Valparaíso).

But I don’t think I’d spend weeks here like I did before.

I changed, and maybe Santiago changed a bit too.