“You’re going to Rio next? Why? It’s always raining and beaches are dirty!”

Mark’s comment makes me laugh. Spoiled traveller? No, it’s just that he probably only remembers our last two stays in Rio de Janeiro—it did rain a lot and we weren’t crazy about letting him swim at Copacabana and Ipanema because both beaches can be dirty, plus the under current is very strong.

Rio de Janeiro can be the most beautiful place on earth or a real shithole. It depends. It depends on how much money you have, on where you’re staying, on where you’re going and it depends on the weather is. Most of the time, Rio is both fascinating and exhausting, as pretty as a picture and downright dirty.

Yes, Rio is… a complicated place.

It’s the Brazilian city tourists want to see and it’s a Brazilian city that doesn’t really paint an accurate picture of Brazil. Everything is more expensive because it’s Rio, everybody keeps on warning you about safety because it’s Rio, but you’re still going because… because it’s Rio.

Or because it’s time to leave Vitória and a cheap flight to Rio de Janeiro is the best option.

I always say I’m skipping Rio and I always end up in Rio at one point.

Much like Mark, I don’t have great recent memories of Rio. Christmas 2020, when it rained a lot. March 2020 when it rained all week long and people were starting to stock up on hand sanitizer. Christmas 2019 when… oh yeah, it rained. Christmas 2018? Yep, it rained.

We’ve had amazing experiences in Rio over the years, though. Several Carnivals, many stays where we explored the city from the Pão de Açúcar to the AquaRio, from Centro to Tijuca, from Christ the Redeemer to Ipanema and Copacabana.

A pleasant stay in Rio starts with a clean, safe and comfortable place to stay. The best locations are probably Copacabana and Ipanema but buildings tend to be old, stuffy, with shitty air con and bad plumbing.

We went through Airbnb listings and at one point, Feng found a renovated apartment.

“Oh no, the bed! Damn it, it had everything.”

“What’s with the bed?” I asked, opening the link. “Wait, where is the bed?”

“… on top of the bookshelves.”

“Oh, that’s fine. I don’t mind loft beds. I’m used to bunk beds.”

Ah, ah. This raised bed turned out to be really annoying. First of all, a bed is a very useful place to organize your stuff. I fold clothes, write, read and more on my bed, normal activities that get more difficult when you have to climb a ladder and can’t sit in bed because it’s that close to the ceiling. And I was alone! I feel sorry for couples. Trust me, no baby was ever made in this bed.

Everything was too high in this apartment. I had to climb on the window edge to turn on the air con.

“Maybe it was designed with Dutch backpackers in mind?” Feng joked.

Other than that, it was fine. I didn’t even mind the noisy bars downstairs or the rats running wild in the street after 2 a.m. And no ants! I’ve been living with tiny, tiny ants in every Airbnb from Natal to Vitória.

I was exhausted when I arrived and I didn’t feel like filling the fridge with just enough groceries for three days. I toyed with the idea of getting takeout, then I remembered how many times we got what Feng and I call “stomach booboos” in Rio—never mind, cooking is a safer option. Rio is the one city where I consistently find regular restaurants pretty awful. Oh, and sticker shock too. Everything is more expensive in Rio because you guessed it, it’s Rio and menus are in English or Spanish.

After Vitória, Rio was a bit of a culture shock. So many people, so many tourists! For the first time in weeks, I heard French, English, Italian and Spanish.

And then, I had this unexpected awkward moment with a tourist who took a picture for me—I asked them to because they had the exact same DSLR as me.

“And where you’re from?”

“Ukraine.”

“I… ahem… have a good day?”

The weather was gorgeous when I arrived on Sunday. Monday morning? Amazing blue sky. I couldn’t believe my luck. I didn’t have plans. “Nothing complicated,” I told Feng. “No tunnel of death, no exploring Centro, no attempting to get to the Christ or the Pão de Açúcar. I’m just here for a couple of days, I’m going to take it easy.” Well, since the weather was cooperating, I decided to walk from Leme to Leblon.

You’ve probably heard of Copacabana and Ipanema beaches. So Leme is basically the beginning of Copacabana and Leblon is the very upscale neighbourhood at the very, very end of Ipanema. So four kilometres plus two kilometres, with at least three viewpoints to climb along the way. Perfect.

As cliché has it sounds, Cariocas have a unique energy that just makes Rio so alive. I spent two days hanging out in these two neighbourhoods, mostly along the beach, and I was never bored for a second. On Monday, I didn’t make it all the way to Ipanema because it started to rain—it cleared up later so I got a nice sunset on Copacabana instead. Then on Tuesday it was 30⁰C, blue sky, no rain… hence the “perfect” scenery.

The magic kind of stops as soon as you take the inner streets, including Avenida Nossa Senhora de Copacabana—then it’s crowded, dirty and stressful.

Stick to the beach. Enjoy the scenery. Soak up the atmosphere.

That’s Rio de Janeiro the way you were picturing it.