I don’t believe in love at first sight, no matter how enticing the idea. However, I believe in keeping my eyes and mind open for this “oh, looks interesting!” spark that can lead to true love.

I like interesting people, places and activities. I often end up loving them, even if it takes some work to understand various perspectives.

I remember dozens of little sparks that led to a lifetime love. I remember meeting Feng for the first time in Beijing and wondering who the hell was this guy who looked Chinese, spoke perfect Mandarin but could switch to English to tell me about his trip to Australia. I remember being fascinated by Chinese ideograms when I was a tween. I remember reading the many translations on random products or medicine notices and trying to figure out how foreign languages work. I remember the photo exhibition in New Zealand that made me cry, laugh and grab a camera. I remember being on a bus in Mexico at 18, blissfully happy to have nothing but a backpack and a vague plan to make it to Brazil. I remember watching Mark dozing off on me, wondering who he would become, and loving him for whoever he was.

But the best things in life don’t come easy, at least not to me. Being a partner and a parent is hard work. No one is born that gifted that success is handed on a plate. Anything that has to be learned takes some effort.

With that in mind, I’m happy to give people, jobs, side gigs, books, movies, places—and myself—a second or third chance.

I went to Recife with this mindset.

After all, São Paulo, Salvador, Aracaju, Floripa and many more places weren’t love at first sight because I had yet to figure them out.

Well, I spent a week in Recife and it still doesn’t click.

I don’t hate the city—I just don’t love it.

Let’s start with the cool things.

I do enjoy walking on the endless Boa Viagem beach, especially towards the end of the day when everybody does the same thing. The Pracinha is also a fun and lively informal gathering place.

Although it’s a separate city and not part of Recife, Olinda is worth a trip or two because it’s a very pretty town.

I finally had the chance to visit a synagogue—the Synagogue Kahal Zur Israel, the first synagogue in America, founded in the 17th century, during Dutch occupation in Brazil. Not only was it interesting but it was also meaningful to me because I have a few Jewish friends and I find Jewish culture fascinating.

Recife’s historic centre is also an interesting place to wander around… but it’s very small.

So why don’t I love Recife?

First, I’m guessing it’s a topological issue. Recife is basically a complex network of rivers, bridges, and islands. While it’s not terribly difficult to get from modern Boa Viagem to the historic centre and other neighbourhoods, you can’t just walk from one place to another. You will spend a lot of time on buses, mostly stuck in traffic—the same goes with Uber. I like wandering around freely so I always feel a bit trapped in Recife.

The historic centre is safe during daytime and so is the neighbouring district of Santo Antônio… in theory. I did explore it several times, a few years ago, but this year I didn’t feel very comfortable in Santo Antônio—too many empty and sketchy streets, too few non-locals like me.

Overall, I find Recife got dirtier and poorer since the pandemic. In 2019, I remember having a great time exploring various neighbourhoods, including busy markets. The markets aren’t as busy these days, many businesses are closed and many poor souls are wandering around, digging through garbage.

Recife is also one of the dirtiest Brazilian cities I know. There are piles of garbage at every street corner, the canal stinks, and I wouldn’t swim at Boa Viagem beach even if there were no sharks around.

I also found Recife was a bit hyped up. No, Boa Viagem isn’t “the best beach” (seriously, guys!) and Rua do Bom Jesus isn’t the prettiest street in Brazil (?!). The city is also weirdly more expensive than many others—food and entrance fees, for instance.

I like you, Recife. I just don’t love you. It’s not you, it’s me. But we can stay friends, right?