“Where are you? Are you hiding behind a tree again?”
“Don’t worry, I gave him an orange t-shirt on purpose. We should be able to spot him easily.”
“Let’s think of the kids as flags, then. With the green forest in the background and his yellow t-shirt, Mark is the Brazilian flag—no, Mark, not poison ivy, just leaves, stop being so paranoid. Yours is… Ireland?”
I have yet to build a fixed ten-people social circle as allowed by the provincial health authority but I have an informal sanity network. Most of the members are juggling mandatory work from home and parenting while trying to move forward with plans and life in the midst of uncertainty. Sounds familiar? With or without kids, I bet it does.
Seriously, fuck COVID-19.
My friend called me on Saturday, desperate to get out of the house with her kids, especially the younger one. “I had the week from hell. Seriously, I’m going to scream.”
“Same here,” I replied. “I’m completely swamped with work now, which would be great if things were… you know, normal. Instead, I’ve just wasted an hour queuing at the supermarket and Mark is annoying because he’s bored. He keeps on asking me to go to another playground, so I told him to ask Feng… who told him to ask me BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW ANY OTHER FUCKING PLAYGROUND! Sorry.”
Lockdown was fun for a while for Mark—no school, so much tablet, so much TV, sleeping late and following us everywhere. The novelty ran out in May. Now, at seven years old, he wants to look for a job because he just “needs to do something.”
I like do do fun things too. It’s just that life is busy but very, very boring right now since options are very limited.
“Let’s do something on Sunday.”
“Museum?”
“Closed. Group activities are still banned and all indoor facilities are closed in Ontario. Not sure about Quebec…”
“Same. Experimental Farm?”
“We can walk through but it’s fucking boring since there’s nothing going on and the museum is—”
“—closed. Right. Gatineau Park?”
“Sure, if you know where you’re going. I haven’t been in years.”
“Going to the park” in France means hanging out in a block-sized public green area in the middle of the city where there are invariably “keep out!” signs on the lawn, a dirty sandbox and plenty of benches for bored parents who can drink coffee and smoke cigarettes while watching kids. Local fauna includes pigeons, poodles and drug dealers.
Any place in Canada with “park” in the name is typically hundreds of square kilometres of true wilderness. Expect kilometres-long trails, no cellphone network, lakes, waterfalls and fauna you’d rather not come face to face with (bears, snakes and wolves, anyone?).
We made plans for the following day, then I hung up and laughed. This is when you know you’ve become Canadian—when two thirty-somethings born-abroad city girls don’t see anything wrong with taking two young kids through the woods on an unmarked trail for a few hours. No map, not a soul around for a several kilometre-long uphill and downhill loop—the kind of place where serial killers bury their victim, basically.
Gatineau Park, just four kilometres from downtown Ottawa, is huge—it covers 361 square kilometres with 183 kilometres of hiking trails.
We headed to Mackenzie King Estate, the former summer home of William Lyon Mackenzie King, the tenth Prime Minister of Canada. Then we covered ourselves with bug spray and off we went. It was 27°C with a humidex of 35°C and chances of severe thunderstorms, basically your typical Ottawa summer day.
Three hours later, after Mark complained about bugs about a million times and after her kid ran and fell about twenty times, we made it back to the car.
This is Canada for you—a huge place with few people, a country that got social distancing right long before COVID.
Very nice trail! C’est vraiment dommage que les maringouins se sont réveillés, ici aussi on essaie de les éviter mais c’est le bordel.
We were lucky, very few bugs despite the hot and humid weather!
I was in Mississippi last week. Humidex is probably 52° there. Arglll…
But in Western Canada, it’s rainy and cool today.
Tu tombes bien, je m’inquiétais pour toi (pas de nouvelles, tout ça… oui, je ne suis pas ta mère, certes…). Minus the season (40C tonight in Ottawa!), how are you? How is your new normal?
Not that much changed for me since the last 4 monthes. Still going around anywhere. I just come back from a trip to Mississippi, and I should load tomorrow 100 km west of Prince George in BC forAlabama.
The only thing is the Transcanadienne is closed after Jasper due flooding, and there isn’t any way to go around (unless going North through Grande Prairie and South after Dawson Creek, but it’s at least a 300 km detour).
Sinon, ben, justement, j’ai pas grand’chose à dire, j’écoute même plus les infos tous les jours vu que c’est plus ou moins toujours la même chose.
Je devrais aussi déconnecter des infos, j’aime pas ce nouveau monde. Do the US feel different these days? It’s really hard to imagine what the country is going through. It seems like a clusterfuck of problem, the virus being one and Trump the other.
Je suis bêtement contente de savoir qu’au moins, tu vas bien. Je sais que tu as peut-être eu le virus en février, mais bon, fais quand même attention à toi. Au fait, tu arrives à mener ta vie sur la route? Genre, impossible de trouver des toilettes publiques en Ontario, et tu n’y as plus accès dans les fast-food et autres. Tu manges facilement, tu as accès à des douches et tout?
The place looks beautiful, I would enjoy the walk for sure !
I think you would have had fun with the boys 😉
Looks beautiful!
Wow, nice park !
Mark has grown so much, he’s such a cutie !
Aaaww, thank you (on his behalf!).
I have a new wildlife fear: raccoons!
Turns out they are not cute when they come close to your tent in the middle of the night, with their glow in the dark green eyes and weird noises
Holy shit, I would have been screaming! My new wildlife fear is crows after one attacked me last year.
OMG I got attacked by one last summer too! It wasn’t until the second round of attack that I could comprehend what was happening haha the first time I just thought WTF is happening? Canada is a dangerous place ;P
It seems to be a huge problem in Vancouver specifically (based on the Google search I did last year!).
The park looks amazing!
I am no expert, but three hours seems like a long time to take a walk with kids. I am impressed (you said there were some complaints, but still). I love hiking for several hours.
Mark can walk for a few hours. I find it surprising too sometimes because plenty of grownups won’t but as long as he finds the environment entertaining, he doesn’t mind walking. I mean, they constantly run around anyway… he’s wasting energy at home most of the time 😆
Yes Europeans have no clue about parks, or true wild nature. Hanging around a EU park is so controlled. Scotland made me laugh with those square plots of pine trees they planted. Europeans I met have this idealized idea of nature. Me (the Canadian) thinks you can get killed out there if not prepared and know what your doing. You know your not in charge when in Canadian bush, nature is.
… and you’re absolutely right! Now, with my Canadian experience, I’m really laughing when I see these manucured “parks” in France.