So, baby Mark is here. But guess what: getting the baby out is harder than getting him in.
Many women love to share terrible labour and birth stories. I’m sorry, mine will be PG-rated: it was an amazing experience and it wasn’t that bad. Lucky me?
As I explained, I didn’t enjoy being pregnant and I was certainly not glowing. I was looking forward to the grand finale. Sure, I was a bit anxious about it, but the prospect of going through labour didn’t bother me much. I figured billions of women had done it before me and that it was a natural process. Besides, as much as I dislike hospitals, I’m not a very modest person and I don’t get grossed out by bodily stuff easily—blood and secretions don’t bother me.
I didn’t attend any prenatal classes and I didn’t read much about labour and birth. My birth plan was simple: I had told my OB-GYN I had no set principles, that I trusted the medical team and that I wanted to go with the flow. The only things I asked were for Feng to be with me and for him to be the one to announce the baby’s sex. I wanted a natural childbirth, i.e., no epidural. Again, it wasn’t a matter of principle and I hadn’t done much research into the pros and cons—I just wanted to keep things natural and straightforward, if possible. Besides, I rarely take any medication, and I’m high if I have a Tylenol!
The Onset of Labour
My due date was approaching. I was 37–38 weeks pregnant (38 weeks according to the doctors, although I still think I was 37!). I started looking out for the early signs—the baby dropping, increased Braxton Hicks contractions, and of course the loss of the mucus plug and my water breaking.
On October 11, I had my weekly appointment at the hospital. I had been feeling tired and uncomfortable, but no more than usual. Actually, I had just decided to put my yoga classes on hold! I walked 2.5 kilometres home from the hospital that evening, so obviously I was still fine.
It was Feng’s birthday, but we postponed eating out until the weekend since I came back late from the hospital, where I was the last patient of the day.
Around 11 p.m., I started feeling pain in my lower back and cramps in my legs. It had happened before, and I thought I had walked too much.
I went to bed but couldn’t sleep. The lower back pain wouldn’t go away. I stared at the digital clock in the bedroom and at one point realized that the intervals between the sharp bursts of pain were regular—about seven minutes apart.
At 2:30 a.m., I woke Feng up. “Alright, this may be nothing, but I’m really in pain… and it may be real contractions.”
I had heard about false labour and I was still expecting my water to break as a sure sign of labour, so I was pretty calm. We were only a ten-minute drive from the hospital, and babies don’t just drop out like that.
The pain was bad for a minute, and then I would be just fine for five minutes until it started again. It was weird: during the contractions, part of me just wanted them to go away, but during each few-minute respite, I kept hoping it was actually labour, and I was looking forward to the next contraction to confirm my instinct.
Calling the Hospital
At 3:30 a.m., I called the hospital’s triage hotline. The woman on the phone was very calm and helpful and suggested I take a bath and relax. “If it’s labour, it will take a while,” she said, “so you can stay home for now, as long as you are okay with that.”
It seemed like a plan. Feng and I read the news and tried to keep ourselves busy, not talking much. It was just weird. It was the middle of the night and we were on the computer, reading the news and answering work emails.
“Okay, maybe you should pack a bag,” Feng eventually suggested.
I didn’t have my hospital bag ready—I’m usually pretty organized, but for some reason, I felt it was bad luck to pack ahead of time. I did have a list ready, though, so I threw some toiletries, a change of clothes for me and the baby, my Kindle and the usual contents of my handbag (BlackBerry, IDs, etc.) into a bigger bag. What else would I need?
Just before 6 a.m., I told Feng it was time to go to the hospital. I was perfectly fine between contractions, but they were getting stronger and stronger, and I was literally down on my knees each time they came. Besides, I couldn’t feel the baby moving as much, and it scared me a bit.
> But guess what: getting the baby out is harder than getting it in.
You sure have a way of making me crack up with every post 🙂
I have been told that keeping a sense of humour was important 😉
I am amazed at how lean you were still at 38 weeks!
So how’s life with the newborn?
Yeah, I wasn’t showing much, but he was in there! He didn’t pop out I guess, he was right under my ribs. Life is busy but good 🙂
I admire how calm you are with this whole process. It’s not like other mothers, who I have the impression of making the whole thing melodramatic. They shout, they panic, and when it is portrayed in the media like childbirth scenes in movies, they overdo it to the point that it gets comic, only to be resolved by the collective “Awwww” when the baby finally arrives.
Your approach on the other hand is more methodical, I like it!
Thank you! I think movies make it sound worse than it actually is. I mean, it is a natural process. But then, same thing with lots of life experience, like sex. I mean, it’s never as dramatic/scary/whatever as in the movies, right?!
Each baby, each birth story is unique but they all bring back memories – of giving birth at 38 weeks (x 3 for me), of back labour, being down on my knees…
Glad it was non-scary and non-gory for you.
Looking forward to Part Two!
Part II coming up soon! I wanted to write it down while it was fresh on my mind.
Congratulations, Zhu!!! Sorry, I’m late again…
Thank you! You aren’t late, I was early 😆
I really admire the way you wanted to do it the most natural way. Actually, you’re not the first mother to tell me that they really appreciated the feeling of giving birth, even though it’s mixed with pain. It’s inspiring. Well done 🙂
I find it great too that the hospital adviced you to… keep cool! I would have thought they would want you there RIGHT AWAY (in case the baby “drops” down on the floor, like you said 😉 )
It’s probably definitely more confortable to be at home than in a busy, cold hospital with nothing to get busy.
That’s what I thought too, especially considering I’m not a huge fan of hospitals. But actually, the birth and mother unit was really nice and didn’t feel too medical!
Giving birth is action, which fit me better than the pregnancy where you just kind of wait and hope for the best without having much control over things.
C’est une belle histoire, et j’ai du mal à croire qu’avec un tout petit bidon comme ça tu en étais à 36 semaines !
Eh oui! Personne n’y croyait, même quand je le regarde je me demande comment il tenait! Mais il était vraiment tout en hauteur, je pouvais à peine respirer. Ça dépend comment tu les porte en fait, c’est marrant.
you r so brave! I can’t even tolerate tooth pain… so have no idea how am I going to go through labour someday.
Can’t wait for the part 2.
It’s not a bad kind of pain though, and it stops pretty fast once your job is done. Hard to explain… plus if you feel in control you can get through it. I don’t have a particularly high pain tolerance level, so honestly I think you can do it if you want to!
Hurray……….You must have been very tired on both this dates but it is all worth it 🙂 Love the radiant look of you being pregnant. I did the C-Section so the pain came later 🙂
Ah yeah, C-sections can be tough too! Different kind of pain.
I love how relaxed you were about the whole thing, so many women stress about it. I admire you for not doing the epidural, you are one brave lady. I hope I can be as stress free as you were, but I would definitely have the epidural 🙂
I really didn’t think about it much. I mostly wanted to avoid the hassle, it wasn’t so much about being brave! Having the option was comforting though, and I was lucky I didn’t need it.
You certainly looked amazing! I’m not so sure people even knew you were preggo… What a beginning of the birth!
Yeah, I didn’t show much, he was positioned in a weird way, squishing my insides rather than popping out!
You’re a strong woman and you looked beautiful.
Aw, thank you!
Turn the page! I wanna read the next!
btw you are posing like a French model in that picture.
😆 Trust me, I wasn’t aware I was posing at the time!
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