These days, when I’m in Canada, I can’t seem to shake this uncomfortable feeling that I’m not doing the right thing, not thinking the right way.
It’s like I don’t fit in anymore.
And I feel like a normal, decent human being anywhere else outside of North America.
It’s… weird. Did I change? Did Canada change? I’ve been here for a long time now, about twenty years, so this is probably not a case of classic culture shock.
Of course, like most immigrants, I didn’t become completely Canadian and I didn’t fully embrace every part of Canadian culture. But before, I used to agree to disagree with Canada on inconsequential matters such as dinnertime (I’m sorry, but I’m not eating at 6 p.m.!), favourite foods (I’ll pass on sheet cake…), the whole hockey obsession (I like hockey but I don’t love hockey).
And then one day, I woke up feeling completely overwhelmed by the ongoing (deeply political) culture war in North America.
I’m left-wing. I think I’m pretty open-minded. I support trans rights and the LGBT community, I believe in climate change, I recognized half of the world colonized the other half and that indigenous people often face discrimination, I dutifully got vaccinated against COVID, I believe in cultural diversity, inclusion and respect, I’m strongly pro-choice, I think I’m okay with change and I like to talk through differences.
I worry about many, many current issues, global or local—rampant capitalism, unaffordable housing, the healthcare system collapsing, and access to education, among many others.
So what’s the problem, then?
Maybe the way it feels taboo to question what is touted as “the right way to be, to think and to act”.
Maybe the way everything is politicized.
Maybe the lack of collective action in this very individualistic society.
Or maybe the time wasted on dividing people over the small picture to conveniently divert attention from the big picture.
I constantly feel like shouting “What the hell are you expecting from me?” Like, is it okay to respect the battle but not join every single fight?
Apparently, it’s not the LGBT community anymore but the LGBTTQQIAAP community. Oops, I wasn’t inclusive enough. I’d love to support trans right better but frankly, I have no idea how. Am I really helping if I put my pronouns in my email signature? I doubt it. I didn’t know what to do for Pride Month either. Some of my friends are gay or bisexual but it’s not their entire identity—we usually chat about life in general, not their “gay weekend” or their “bisexual career”.
Yes, global warming is concerning. I’m sorry I’m flying planes once in a while, I can’t swim across the Atlantic Ocean and I get tired if I walk more than 10,000 miles. We only have one small car and I mostly get around on foot, does it count for something? Please build better public transportation systems, sidewalks, trains, whatever we can actually use as an alternative. The constant guilt-trip messaging just makes me feel even more powerless.
I can’t keep track of who is “cancelled” and why. Meanwhile, I see awful human beings leading entire countries so forgive me if I’m still listening “cancelled” singers or reading non-edited Roald Dahl books with Mark.
Everything is so black-or-white Manichean in North America. And I’m not even talking about the anti-Chinese sentiment spreading—having ties to China and Chinese culture apparently makes you a “brainwashed communist”… or a spy.
So yeah, the French make a lot more sense to me these days.
Honestly, I’d rather see actual activism and issues taken to the streets than bullshit self-righteousness and toxic propaganda on social media.
It’s confusing for me to read you on that matter because I don’t feel that at all. I don’t know if it’s because we live in Quebec but I’m reading you and it seems to me as if you were talking to a foreign country. Which is kind of stranger is that I do feel what you describe with France for example : that everything is or has to be politicized, that everything is black or right (and that you need to justify yourself constantly), and so on. I’m sorry though that you feel that way because I did feel like that with France 12 years ago and it’s the main reason I filled for PR and left. C’est une forme de pertes de repères qui nous correspondent et ça peut être très douloureux de le subir.
As a French in Canada, I have the same feelings than Juliette.
Climate change is a reality, and yet regressives have forged the narrative that it’s a plot by [insert name of evil entity¹] to take freedom away from people. In fact, they do the same with LGBTQIA2S rights. They play it as if it was a zero-sum game: if some people gain rights, then YOU are losing some. It’s ridiculous, but it’s framed like that.
¹: the most common culprits here nowadays are ”globalists”, which is a dogwhistle for ”jews” who control the world. It comes directly from the nazi playbook.
I understand perfectly! I was more pointing out the fact that Juliette was feeling that here in Canada but not in other places. I feel that more in other places than in Canada. And more generally, I feel that everywhere. When I moved away from France, there were the protests against gay marriage and I kept having the same misunderstanding with people : how same sex marriage could possibly affect heterosexual marriage ? Was it going to take something away from heterosexual people ? Why did they even have something to say on the matter ? I was very confused about that.
Indeed, in Canada, there hasn’t been too much opposition to same-sex marriage, but there still is in the US. And since a few years, I have the feeling that Canadian regressives are more agressive on these fronts, following the lead of US regressives.
Recently, Harper was seen with Orbán, a couple of regressive MP met with basically a German neo-nazi, etc.
Everywhere in the world, there is a worrisome trend toward far-right politics, Canada included.
Generally speaking, I feel like I can’t “win” these days. I’m definitely not conservative but I don’t identify with most supposedly progressive groups.
This is an interesting point and I’m not sure why people make more sense to be in Europe than in Canada while the trend towards far-right politics is very real as well. I think I find Europeans (average citizens) more moderate, more aware of what’s going on elsewhere in the world (so less sheltered), and more critical.
I understand completely! This post was hard for me to write because I understand this is the way I feel and it’s definitely not always a shared feeling. The culture is different in Quebec so I think you’re “shield” from a lot of bullshit coming from the US right now. I also know I’m not the only one feeling this way, quite a few friends around me feel the same. I don’t think France is necessarily better but Europe (more than France alone as a country) does make more sense to me in the way it deals with global issues right now.
> I believe in climate change
Minor pedantic semantic point : I don’t believe in climate change, I know it’s real.
What we see these was effectively forseen 20 years ago, and a real cause of worry since more than 40 years.
And let’s face it, as an individual, there is almost nothing we can do. There need to be regulations concerning industrial emissions.
One easy way to reduce greenhouse gases would be to first forbid advertising for SUV and in second tax personal vehicules by weight. Nobody needs a 2 tonnes car to move around even in sprawling North American cities. But imagine the outcry of the regressive dumbasses if it was only evoked (il y a ”con” dans ”conservateur”, je ne pense pas que ce soit un hasard).
Same thing with LGBTQIA2S rights, the problem is that the regressives present some issues through a very biased and anecdotal lens (transwomen in sports for example) or by outright lies (transwomen are peeping perverts, gays are pedophile, there are litters in schools, drag queens expose themselves to children, teaching about sexuality is grooming …), refusing to recognize the basic reality of science when it comes to these subjects (same as climate change in fact).
There is a concerted effort by US regressives to oppress people based on innate characteristic, and this effort spreads over the borders. After a couple of month, these lies find their way in Canada, then Europe.
And yes, the commercial recuperation of pride month is criticized among the LGBTQIA2S community. But as long as fascists are trying to make some people second class citizens just to satisfy their bigotry, we can’t let them lead the narrative.
Because what they are doing is effectively trying to cancel the idea that not all people are cisgender hetereosexuals. For example, there are more babies born with ambiguous genitalia (so it’s not possible at birth to determine if they are male or female) than people born with red hair. But regressives are still claiming there is only 2 sex possible. There are even old texts, like the bible, that recognize the existence of intersex people. So it’s not new.
You’re right, climat change isn’t supposed to be a “belief”, it’s science. I phrased it this way because this is the way the ongoing debate seems to work—is it real or is it not. Which is stupid, and which is exactly my point.
All the regressive and conservative politics and perspectives affect me as well. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what drives me crazy but I think it’s the overall toxic environment. I don’t have an opinion on everything, I can’t fight every battle and not everything is black or white. It’s just so fucking exhausting to have to fight for everything you believe in all the fucking time. And it’s NOT moving forward, cf. right to choose, the previous generation fought for it, got it and now we’re back to square one in the US.
I don’t mind fighting. But I want to fight for actual issues, not anectodal facts, and I want to fight collectively, not on social media.
That’s ok to feel like you don’t fit in. I made my peace with it that I don’t and that’s ok. I feel like as we get older, we just change. Also, I think it is important to include pronouns in your email signature. It is one of the ways to be inclusive and also to make other queer folks feel supported.
I did not realize it changed from LGBTQIA+ to LGBTTQQIAAP. Good to know. I am queer and I guess I did not get the latest queer newsletter in the mail lol
As you know (…I think?) I do respect the LGBTTQQIAAP community and frankly, I don’t see anything weird in whatever way people express their gender, their identity and their sexuality.
My sentence about pronouns is mostly about the fact that I see it as a trend—like, people mean well but the mere act of putting pronouns in a signature strikes me as gimmicky, much like when people add a land acknowledgement in their signature without much context. It feels like a meaningless copy/paste. It has a purpose with context and intent. I had this discussion with various people from these communities (LGBTTQQIAAP and indigenous people) and they tend to feel the same. But I’ll be happy to reconsider! I just feel it takes so much more to be inclusive…
Hmmm i see what you mean.